<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Second Coming by Anon581</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23026660">The Second Coming</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon581/pseuds/Anon581'>Anon581</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Girls Run The World</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:49:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>76,591</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23026660</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon581/pseuds/Anon581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagined season 2.  Sidney is resigned to his miserable fate but after years of underestimating the fairer sex they may be the ones to turn his life back on course.<br/>Starts out with angst, turns into a big long, sometimes sexy, hug of a story.</p><p>COMPLETE!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>865</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>796</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I promised myself I wouldn't get tied up in a mutli chapter story and certainly not try to fix the ending but here I am.</p><p>You can blame/thank the Stone Roses song, Tears, which really inspired Sidney's mind frame in this story.  Check it out, it's a good song.  Story title is named after the album it's from as a nod of gratitude.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The goodbye with Georgiana had been difficult.  Both of their tempers had flared.  It was the first time Charlotte had been on the receiving end of Georgiana’s sharp tongue.  Now two weeks later she opened her letter anxiously.</p><p> </p><p>Dearest Charlotte,</p><p>I must apologize for my heated and unkind words.  I must admit my emotions run high and are very conflicting over this matter.  I worried for your heart when you revealed your feelings for Sidney.  Having known him for years I am well acquainted with his unreliability and his temper.  I did not wish for you to attach yourself to a man that would make you unhappy.</p><p>However, I understand too well the devastation of losing love and clearly see that in both of you.  Forgive me for not respecting that when we were last together.  You softened his edges, I was too lost in my own despair before, but I see it now.  I must say he is quite aimless and broken without you.  I do hope you are recovering better.</p><p>I can say that things improve with time but only partially.  My heart still aches for Otis or perhaps for the loss of what I thought we shared.  Oh if only you could come to London and stay with me this autumn!  We could nurse our hearts together.  But as your heart is tied to my infernal guardian I suppose that cannot be.  Do you not have family in London you could stay with?  I miss having a true friend.</p><p>Ever so fondly,<br/>
Georgiana</p><p> </p><p>She ached as she read of Sidney’s state.  It made her heart flutter to know that his feelings had been so sincere, and even seemingly remained that way.  But she truly wanted him to be happy, wanted to believe that his marriage could grow in love with time and attention.  The thought of his marriage being a form of slavery, as she had proclaimed months back at the pineapple luncheon, hurt her deeply.  Sidney deserved happiness and peace.</p><p>“How is the news from Georgiana?” her mother asked from the other side of the room trying to keep her voice neutral.  Charlotte had regaled her family with stories of her adventures in Sanditon, it had helped her grief to focus on the happiness of the summer.  She wanted to feel gratitude, not resentment.  She spoke of Sidney but tried to approach him with the same interest that she spoke of Arthur, just one of Tom’s kind brothers.</p><p>Her mother and father however saw the heaviness in her.  They expected Charlotte to return changed and indeed she had matured and blossomed but she had clearly also learned some of the more difficult lessons of coming of age.  One afternoon a few days after her return, Charlotte and her mother were washing the laundry together when her mother dared to bring it up.</p><p>“Your heart lingers with someone in Sanditon, does it not my love?”</p><p>“Oh.  Mother.  I…”  She paused.</p><p>“You need not hide it from me.  I was once a young woman too.  I remember.”</p><p>“I...Perhaps…”  Charlotte really didn’t know what to say and tears started welling in her eyes.  “Mr. Sidney Parker.” she whispered.</p><p>“Ah, yes.”  Her mother had assumed as much to be the case.  Charlotte’s stories always floundered a bit when he came into them.  </p><p>“I did not understand him at first but mother, I grew to be so very,” Charlotte’s voice caught, “very fond of him.”</p><p>“My love”, Mrs Heywood wrapped her arm around Charlotte’s shoulder.  “Do you think he returns your fondness?  Have you received word from him since your return?”</p><p>Charlotte couldn’t bring herself to tell her mother the full truth.  “I think he may have Mother but it is not to be.  Remember when I told you that Mr Tom Parker was able to secure more financing to rebuild after the fire?  It was actually Mr Sidney that secured the family by engaging himself to a wealthy widow.  One he courted in his youth.”  Charlotte started to cry in earnest.</p><p>“Oh goodness Charlotte, that is dramatic.  I’m so very sorry.  Life certainly is more complicated when you make money one of your highest goals.”</p><p>“But Sid- Mr Sidney Parker was simply doing the best he could to save his brother and his family.  Please don’t think badly of him.”</p><p>“I certainly don’t mean to disparage him.  He seems to be very loyal to his family and certainly marrying for material and social gain is quite standard.  It would have been a lovely match for you seeing as how well you get on with his family.  But Charlotte there will be others.  And you will find that the true love and compatibility needed for a marriage are not the same as the flutterings that accompany dancing at a ball or polite dinner party conversation.”</p><p>“Yes mamma.  I know.”  If only her mother knew just how much deeper their relationship had been, how she felt he had bared his soul to her.  “It still hurts however.”</p><p>“Of course, of course my love.”  She wrapped both arms around her and hugged her tightly as Charlotte allowed herself to cry freely.</p><p>Since that afternoon they had not spoken of Sidney again.  Mrs Heywood would put a reassuring hand on Charlotte’s shoulder if she seemed to be struggling but she was a practical woman and knew that with time this would pass and eventually Charlotte would experience love again and move on.  She also felt that while they wanted Charlotte to marry well, perhaps the Parkers were too enterprising, too caught in the chase for money, for the Heywood’s taste anyway.  </p><p>The letter from Georgiana certainly piqued Mrs Heywood’s interest though as she knew that Sidney was Georgiana’s guardian.  Charlotte could not read any of the letter aloud to her mother.  She hadn’t told her family anything about Otis or the shocking abduction.  She hadn’t even told them she had been to London.  Once her mother knew about Sidney she was very relieved she had left that story out.  What could she share with her mother?  She channeled Georgiana’s skill for lying.</p><p>“She says that she is very well.  She went sea bathing for the last time yesterday.  She will be returning to London for the autumn and winter now that the season is over in Sanditon.”  Charlotte hesitated for a moment.  “She encourages me to come to London as well so we may resume our friendship in person.”</p><p>Mrs Heywood frowned.  “That could be difficult, do you not think?” she said, clearly meaning that Charlotte would not, under any circumstances, be allowed to stay with Georgiana.</p><p>“Yes, she doesn’t mean to host me herself.  She just misses our times together.”</p><p>They both left it at that.  Charlotte wasn’t actually anxious to go to London.  She knew resuming her friendship with Georgiana would result in her eventually crossing paths with Sidney and she did not feel ready to see him again.  It had taken all of her resolve to wish him well and get into the carriage as she knew she must.  Seeing him again would only reopen wounds.  And yet, life in Willingden was no longer enough for her.  It was comfortable and lovely to be home but it felt like an intermission, like she was just waiting for what came next.  </p><p>Charlotte thought on it for several days and then one evening when the young children were asleep and she took a leap. </p><p>“I would like to visit Uncle Stephen and Aunt Beatrice in London.”</p><p>Mrs Heywood’s mouth went into a thin line.  “They haven’t sent an invitation, Charlotte.  I’m not sure it would be proper for you to just impose on them.”</p><p>“Oh, Mrs Heywood, you know how much my brother and his wife love Charlotte.  I’m sure they would not consider it an imposition.  Our young Charlotte has had a taste of the world and she’s hungry for more.  Is that not true Charlotte?”</p><p>“Yes, father, I know it’s not the way you have lived your life but I do feel it would bring me happiness to continue to seek out new experiences.”  Charlotte glanced at her mother after saying this.  She had assumed that her mother shared the news of Charlotte’s heartbreak over Sidney with her father but apparently not.</p><p>“My love we can see your restlessness.  You are your own woman and we know you to be prudent and sensible.  I will write my brother tomorrow.”  Mr Heywood spoke leaving no room for his wife to reasonably interject.  Mrs Heywood looked at Charlotte intently.  </p><p>“Thank you so very much father.” She kissed him and headed up to bed wide awake but ready to escape her mother’s eyes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuYsgbGQueQ</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Georgiana had received a prompt and kind, but brief, reply from Charlotte.  When Sidney arrived later that day to finalize their plans to move back to London she couldn’t help but bring it up.</p><p>“She says I am to be kind to you as a favor to her.  Is she not too good?”, Georgiana asked at a break in the stilted conversation.</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“Charlotte of course.”</p><p>Sidney swallowed, his jaw tensed.  “Of course.  Is she well?”</p><p>“No, I don’t think she is.”</p><p>He nodded once and his head didn’t return up.  He fiddled with his coat sleeves.  “Yes, well what’s to be done.” he said flatly.</p><p>“Yes, well.  What’s to be done?” she repeated back, leaning forward on the sofa, her intonation clearly different and clearly expecting an answer.</p><p>“Georgiana, I’m sorry you’ve been brought into my personal affairs.  It was not my intention, just as it was not in my intention to be separated from Charlotte.  But circumstances have required that my plans change.  You know, I trust, that I do not relish this change in any way.”</p><p>“Circumstances have not demanded that your plans must change in this particular way.  Is your pride really that important?  Is it really worth more than Charlotte?” she responded hotly.</p><p>Sidney shot up from his chair,, “Do not be ignorant!  You know this is not about my goddamn pride!  I clearly have none!”. Just as quickly as he rose, he fell back into his chair, deflated and shamed.</p><p>Georgiana looked at him with pity and a bit of disdain.  When the great Sidney Parker did not even have the energy for his legendary temper she knew he was a lost man.  “You’re right, forgive me.  I let my frustration carry me away.  But I still find it hard to believe that this is the best possible solution. You don’t need to be shackled to a woman you don’t love for the rest of your life.  Perhaps you don’t even have to lose Charlotte.”</p><p>Sidney sighed.  “I cannot think of another solution and what is done is done.  The deal has already been arranged.”</p><p>“I have all of the money you need and then some.  Just let me be your investor.  Does that not seem like the most obvious and easy route?” Georgiana said earnestly.</p><p>He looked at her sternly.  “Georgiana, I appreciate the offer but we have discussed this.  Your inheritance is for your future.  Your father certainly did not intend for it to be used to cover another man’s folly.”</p><p>“But it is not to simply save your brother or even you, it is an investment, one that I will gain from in time."  She had more than enough money, she would be happy to temporarily set some aside in a venture, especially if it also secured her dear friend's happiness.  And while her relationship with Sidney was still very strained she had to acknowledge that he was making strides in being a better guardian.  He had also become more vulnerable with the loss of Charlotte and she quietly relished knowing intimate details about his life rather than just being pushed away.  There was familiarity between them that had not existed previously.</p><p>Sidney leaned forward and dropped his voice slightly, "Frankly Sanditon is not an investment I would recommend or invest in myself if it wasn't in the interest of my own family.  Any return you earn may be very far in the future, and it's just as likely that you could lose your money entirely.  Without that familial tie I could not possibly allow you to gamble your own future on this town."</p><p>Georgiana’s anger rose.  She tilted her head back and bit her cheek.  "Because I am not a member of the Parker family?"</p><p>"Yes, exactly."</p><p>"I just wanted to be sure I understood that portion correctly.  I am a  woman with an inaccessible fortune, no ability to make her own decisions and no family.  Thank you for your clarity.  Good day.". Georgiana stood up and swiftly left the parlor.</p><p>Sidney groaned and dropped his head in his hands recognizing his blunder too late.  Since Charlotte, since trying to be a better man, it seemed no matter how much he gave of himself It was still not enough.</p><p> </p><p>Georgiana was surprised by how easy it was to convince Ms Griffiths to escort her to Sanditon House and to wait in the hall for her.  Apparently arranging a private audience with a wealthy old widow was much more agreeable than taking a brief walk in public with a friend.</p><p>As the heavy doors to the receiving room pushed open Lady Denham’s booming voice immediately greeted her, “Well if this isn’t the most interesting surprise.  I must say Ms Lambe I did not expect to see you in this room again.”</p><p>“Nor did I maam but I thank you for having me.”</p><p>“Sometimes curiosity is a greater motivator than pride.  So out with it now, whatever do you need from me?”  Lady Denham remained standing and made no motion for Georgiana to sit or make herself comfortable.</p><p>“I am interested in investing in Sanditon.”</p><p>“Oh are you? And what pray, does your guardian say about this?” she paced the room as she spoke.</p><p>Georgiana ignored that question and pushed on, “I don’t believe that Mrs Campion’s investment is a wise one.  I would like to discuss how I could ensure the loan in her place.”</p><p>Lady Denham spun around to face her, “Gracious!  You certainly don’t have any qualms about speaking your mind!  Why in heaven’s name would you feel Mrs Campion’s investment is not wise?”  </p><p>Georgiana’s eyes shifted out the window, avoiding Lady Denham’s gaze.  “I just feel it could be withdrawn, that perhaps she is not as keen in the endeavour.  But I am.  I have many thoughts about how we could improve the allocation of the funds...”</p><p>“Don’t try to distract me with your ideas and schemes.  Too many ideas and schemes is what got me into this mess in the first place!  I cannot see how Mrs Campion’s investment would be withdrawn.  She is marrying into the Parker family!  It is an excellent match for Mr Parker, which is exceedingly lucky for him.  And she meanwhile seems happy enough with his good looks, social standing and moderate fortune to see it as a beneficial match for her as well.  I do not see any signs of insecurity in this arrangement.”</p><p>Georgiana continued to look out the window.  She wasn’t sure how to proceed, if she could at all.  The pause between them lingered.</p><p>“Unless you are privy to some personal information that I am unaware of.” She looked at Georgiana appraisingly.  “Did she jilt him again?”</p><p>“No.”  Georgiana said quietly but firmly, still avoiding Lady Denham’s gaze.</p><p>Lady Denham continued to watch her closely.  “Is there another on his end?” she said with some interest.</p><p>“Surely, I would not know.  That is not my business ma’am.”  Georgiana raised her chin.</p><p>“Ah, but before you could answer ‘no’ and on this matter you can only state that it is ‘not your business’.  Not as convincing Ms Lambe.”  Lady Denham chuckled to herself and continued her pacing.  Georgiana held still feeling trapped.  “Now why would you advocate on behalf of his affections is what I must ask myself.”  She puzzled over it, walking.  “Ah!” she stopped and looked at Georgiana again.  “It is your friend, Miss Heywood, is it now?”  She was immensely pleased with herself.  Georgiana froze her face, giving nothing away.  “Yes, they would make a pretty pair, that much is true.  It is an excellent match for her - she who said she was not interested in marrying especially for money!  Ha!  Don’t ever believe the self righteous Ms Lambe.  But for him it is a very poor match, very poor indeed considering the debt his family owes me.”  Her tone changed as pride of her perceptiveness made way for her own self interest.  “No, that would not stand.  His match with Mrs Campion is the wise one and clearly the only one worth considering.”</p><p>Georgiana felt Lady Denham preparing to end the conversation and quickly jumped in, finally looking her in the eye again.</p><p>“I do not come to speak on the personal matters of my guardian.”  Lady Denham scoffed but Georgiana pressed on firmly.  “I come to speak of my own fortune and my interest in investing in Sanditon.  I am prepared to put a very large sum of money towards the current debt in return for a determined percentage in the profits as well as a role in the decision making.”</p><p>Lady Denham put her hand up to stop Georgiana from speaking further.  “Ms Lambe, I know your money is not yours to spend.  You have no access to your fortune and no ability to make your own decisions as to how it is cared for.  Unless your guardian sent you here on his accord, which knowing those Parker brothers I wouldn’t be terribly surprised…”</p><p>“Ma'am he did not!”  Georgiana shot back.</p><p>“Regardless, you my dear are in no position to come here demanding an audience when you are only wasting my time.  And frankly Ms Lambe seeing your particular situation in our society you need to reserve your fortune as a means of gaining acceptance and a good match for yourself.  A woman of your...background must rely on that fortune as well as she can.”</p><p>Georgiana’s nostrils flared and her fists clenched.  It seemed her degradation was never ending.  She felt hopeless and angry and entirely belittled.  She bit her lip and glared at Lady Denham.  “You see money as something to be hoarded and held over others’ heads.  Of course you would see that as my only worth in this life.  You are a selfish, proud and prejudiced old woman!’ she shouted.</p><p>The doors opened and Miss Griffiths hurried into the room.  “Miss Lambe!  You certainly owe the great lady an apology!”</p><p>“Yes, and of course you would be spying on me” Georgiana spat between gritted teeth.  “And I owe Lady Denham nothing.”  She turned and rushed out of the room.  Miss Griffiths frantically bowed to Lady Denham, “She is a reckless and insolent girl Lady.  I humbly apologize on her behalf.”  She backed out of the room quickly while still nodding forward like a pecking chicken.  “Forgive me.  So young and thoughtless.  All of my apologies.”  All the way out of the room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte’s aunt and uncle traveled to Willingden in a fortnight and stayed on at the estate for a week with their two young boys.  The cousins had a most happy and raucous reunion as the city boys were instructed in the playful, carefree way of country life.  Stephen and Beatrice were thrilled at the prospect of taking Charlotte on.  Stephen, Mr Heywood’s younger brother, had escaped to London as a young man for school and had gone on to be a lawyer.  They didn’t live a luxurious life but they were comfortable and thoroughly enjoyed the hustle and bustle of city life.  Stephen could never understand how his brother could be content to spend all of his life in the family home without any desire to travel elsewhere.</p><p>“Now Charlotte, my kindred spirit, let us make you a Londoner!” he exclaimed happily as their carriage pulled out of Willingden.  Charlotte smiled broadly and felt truly happy.  She was excited to see London through her aunt and uncle’s eyes.  She had always admired them and looked forward to their letters to the family.  It pleased her immensely that Uncle Stephen recognized himself in her.  Being a well read and very educated man she greatly looked forward to several weeks of fascinating conversation and new book recommendations.</p><p>She had written to Georgiana and Mary to let them know she would be in town.  She was anxious to see them both and tried not to think about how it would be to spend time with people who had regular access to Sidney.  How she longed for the simplicity of the summer when he would come by for dinner with the family or just drop in to talk with Tom and visit the children.  They certainly hadn’t always gotten along over those short months but now she would happily fight with him just for the chance to be back in his daily orbit.  Charlotte promised herself though that she would not seek him out.  As much as she longed to just catch a glimpse of him she knew it would only deepen her heartache.  </p><p>Charlotte had also heard from Lady Susan who had inquired around to find her address in Willingden.  Her letter had been kind and sympathetic.  “I have heard the engagement news and I am much aggrieved on your behalf.  Truly, this was not the outcome I expected.  I expected Mr Parker to better know your worth.”  She appreciated Susan’s concern and was terribly honored to hear from her but she hardly knew how to respond.  She wrote briefly and said that she would be in London for the autumn.  She didn’t know what to expect from their relationship now that the intrigue of her love life had fizzled.  Perhaps Susan would no longer be interested in continuing their friendship.  But if their friendship did survive Charlotte imagined with Susan’s frank manner the conversation would at some point circle back to Sidney and Mrs. Campion’s engagement.  And then how could she even speak on the matter?  </p><p>But she could manage all that as it came.  For now, she already felt lighter and was so grateful for the change of scenery.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney arrived in London and settled into Crowe’s house.  With Tom and Mary and the children at Bedford Place for the month, along with Arthur and Diana, it was just more than he could manage.  His time away in Antigua had led him to appreciate his family more than he had ever expected but right now the pain of his sacrifice for them was a burden he wasn’t sure he could bear with grace.  Being in their presence would not be beneficial for anyone.</p><p>“Parker!”  Crowe greeted him sloshing drink in hand.  “Come in, come in.  Welcome!  You and Babbers and I are catching up tonight!”</p><p>“Thank you for having me Crowe.  I appreciate it.”  Sidney said seriously and shook Crowe’s hand warmly.</p><p>Crowe slapped him on the back.  “Certainly!  Your home is a bloody zoo right now!  A man cannot live in that type of overcrowding.  This isn't the East Indies after all!”  Crowe smirked at his presumed wit.  Sidney rolled his eyes.</p><p>The men settled in the sitting room with a bottle of whisky.  “Not too much for me tonight gentlemen.”  Babbington stated.</p><p>“Nonsense, your lady knows you’re with us tonight.  She will expect nothing less.”  Crowe said as he poured Babbington a tall glass.  “Now Parker, you owe us explanations immediately, keeping us in the dark!  One minute you’re packing Mrs Campion out of Sanditon and the next thing we know she’s your fiance at old Babbington’s wedding.”</p><p>“Yes, friend, that took me by surprise as well.  What happened there?”  Babbington said gently, peering at him closely.  He wouldn’t dare mention Charlotte’s name as Crowe didn’t seem to be aware of what had been building between her and Sidney.</p><p>Sidney gazed into his glass, swirling the amber liquid, attempting to look distracted, casual.  “Situations changed gentlemen.”</p><p>Babbington looked at Crowe and cocked his eyebrow, “Remind me to ask him again a couple bottles in.”</p><p>And true to his word later in the evening after Crowe passed out on the sofa Babbington pressed Sidney.  “In all earnestness man, I saw you with Miss Heywood the night of the Midsummer Ball.  Whatever happened?  I’m afraid I must have neglected you as a friend in the weeks of my engagement to have not known what transpired.”</p><p>Sidney sighed.  He was exhausted and drunk and tired of pretending everything was as it should be.  “The fire Babs, the fire.”</p><p>Babbington looked at him.  “Yes, terrible, that night.  Did you just not go through with asking her afterwards?”</p><p>“Please know this is under the strictest of confidence but Tom had no insurance on the Terrace.  The loss was crippling.  Your dear new aunt was ready to send him to debtor’s prison right there on the spot.  I had a week to find a solution and raise capital.  Out of desperation I offered an investment role to Mrs Campion and she had a counter offer for a more … mutually beneficial situation.”  Sidney scoffed into his drink.</p><p>“My dear man, why didn’t you call upon me?”</p><p>“I did Babbington.  You were already off at your country estate preparing your affairs for the wedding.  I didn’t hear back in time.  It doesn’t matter, there’s nothing you could have done anyway.” said Sidney slumped and rumpled in his chair. </p><p>Babbington’s face fell.  “I’m so sorry Sidney, had I realized…”  Sidney grunted and waved him off.  “But surely perhaps I could talk to Lady Denham and beg her patience while we raise the funds another way.  I don’t want to interfere but it must be said that you’ve lost a lot of your spark since this engagement.  We can fix this.”</p><p>Sidney’s eyes had been trained on the floor and he slowly raised them to Babbington.  “The debt is just far too large, beyond your imagination.  It’s large enough that I have given up the woman I truly love to marry another for her wealth.  I am forced to marry for money man.”</p><p>“Parker, you’re no better than a common prostitute.”  Crowe’s voice came drowsily from the sofa.  Babbington flinched but Sidney simply chuckled sadly.  </p><p>“Precisely, Crowe, precisely.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte had been in London for only a couple days when she received a note from Mary encouraging her to come for tea the following afternoon.  "You must have left with an impact on them to receive word so soon!  I have visiting to conduct in the area, I'll escort you there tomorrow." said her aunt.</p><p>“Oh Charlotte!”  Mary rushed into the front hall and enclosed Charlotte in a tight embrace.  “How I’ve missed you!  Our family has not been the same without you.  Children!  Children!  Charlotte has arrived!”  The three oldest children came tumbling down the stairs and Charlotte was soon brought to happy tears as she was smothered by their hugs.  It was so good to be back in the Parker family.  In this moment it felt like nothing changed, as if they would all go for a walk on the beach shortly.  The children filled her in on their schooling and their plans for their time in London.  Mary filled her in on the rest of the Parker family’s wellbeing, with the notable exception of Sidney.  She was clearly happy to see Charlotte but seemed a bit flustered and anxious throughout their visit.  She kept glancing at the clock and Charlotte worried perhaps she had gotten too comfortable and overstayed her welcome.  </p><p>“Mary, do you have another engagement?  I’ll be happy to be on my way if you do.”</p><p>Mary motioned for the maid to take the children away.  “Children, say goodbye to Charlotte.  We’ll make plans for her to come play again shortly.”  The children covered her in kisses and allowed themselves to be swept out.</p><p>Charlotte looked at Mary with concern, fearing more bad news from Sanditon.  “Is everything alright Mary?”</p><p>“Yes, yes of course.  Well, mostly.  It’s Sidney, Charlotte.”  Charlotte sucked in her breath.  “He’s fine, well mostly.  It’s just that he’s coming here for tea and I have business I must attend to with the children.” Mary said lamely.  “I was wondering if you would feel dreadfully uncomfortable hosting him for me.”</p><p>Charlotte stared, mouth agape.  What was happening? </p><p>Mary rushed on, “I don’t want to put you in a bad position.  Just say the word and I’ll stay or we could even call for your carriage quickly before his arrival.”</p><p>“Mary, you say he’s mostly fine.  Is he in good health?”</p><p>“Oh yes, he is healthy.  This is… I...Please forgive me for meddling, but I feel he could benefit from seeing you.  Perhaps a proper conclusion…”  Mary trailed off flusteredly.  “Charlotte, I apologize.  This may be terribly foolish, or even worse, cruel.  I’ve been thinking on this for so long but perhaps I haven’t thought about it well enough.”</p><p>Charlotte stared off distractedly.  Sidney would be here shortly.  Mary had arranged for them to meet privately.  Her mind was somehow reeling and plodding along at the same time.  She had planned on avoiding him as thoroughly as possible and now, within days of her arrival they would be together.  He would be here.  He would be here.  With her.  Alone.  Very shortly.  </p><p>“Thank you Mary.  I think I can manage.” Charlotte gave her a tight smile feeling less than confident but unable to reject the opportunity.</p><p>“I will be close by.  Please just call for me if you need me.”</p><p>Mary touched Charlotte’s shoulder and left the room and Charlotte was alone.  She spoke to him in her head constantly.  She had so many versions of what she would say to him if she were to see him again.  But now it was happening and she was without a single coherent thought.</p><p>The bell rang, there was murmuring in the hall and then the doors opened and he was there.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney stopped short and stared.  He thought he might be having a stroke, a moment of hallucination, some altered version of reality.  “Charlotte.”  Whispered in complete awe.</p><p>Charlotte stayed seated.  She didn’t think her knees could hold her.  Her eyes started filling with tears.  “Mary.  She arranged for us to meet.  I didn’t know until just now.  I…”  Her voice caught and she had to cut herself short to hold back a sob.  Seeing him was even more devastating than she expected.  She felt a tightness in her chest that was making it hard to breathe.</p><p>Sidney was immediately across the room, kneeling before her.  He took hold of her hands, which she had been wringing tightly in her lap, and looked up into her eyes.  “Charlotte.”  A prayer.  He buried his face in her lap.  Her tears spilled out and she leaned forward to nestle her face in his hair.  “Sidney” she breathed shakily.  It was the first time she had said his name aloud although it played in her head constantly.  Its utterance had different effects on each of them.</p><p>For Sidney hearing his name fall from her hushed lips had undone him, had further encouraged his wild abandon.  He  immediately started kissing her fingers fervently.</p><p>For Charlotte it was an alarm that she was allowing her dreams to come to the surface where they did not belong.  She quickly righted herself.  “This.  This is wrong.  Please Mr Parker.”  He stilled his lips but did not raise his head.</p><p>“No. No. No.” she pleaded in a hushed tone.</p><p>He lifted his head and looked at her, a broken man.  “How can I bear it?”  Indeed he looked changed.  He was still incredibly handsome and his clothes were still fine and well taken care of but she could see the quality that Mary had described as “mostly fine”.  Down on the floor, looking up at her, his eyes were like those of a lost little boy searching for safety.</p><p>“The tea service will be here shortly.” She said, her voice still hushed and shaky.</p><p>That roused him enough.  “Yes, yes.  Of course.”  He said in a resigned voice.  He lifted himself to his feet and stood before her.  His eyes looked tired and sad.  “Forgive me please.  I put you in a terrible position.  I have no excuse.”  She nodded, looking away, blinking back tears.</p><p>He settled in the armchair next to her.  “Are you well Mr Parker?”  She couldn’t speak in a regular volume if she tried.  </p><p>His low volume matched her own.  “Miss Heywood, I am not.  Are you?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>The tea came in and they watched in silence as it was arranged on the table between them.  Both keeping their eyes on the maid’s hands rather than risking a look at each other.  The maid left and Sidney quietly poured Charlotte’s tea, remembering precisely how she liked it.</p><p>“May I ask you an improper question if I promise to be on my best behavior afterwards?” he asked hesitatingly.</p><p>“I suppose although I can’t guarantee I will answer it.”  She was so overwhelmed by his presence, by his reaction to her presence.</p><p>“That is fair.” he said with a trace of a smile.  His brows then furrowed and he opened his mouth a couple times before he could bring himself to force the words out.  “It occured to me that you knew of my intentions but I never knew of yours.  Charlotte, Miss Heywood, did you feel the same?”</p><p>Charlotte looked at him.  Surely it didn’t matter now.</p><p>As if reading her thoughts he continued, “I don’t mean to cause you pain.  I...I feel I know the answer..  You always were free with your opinions” He chuckled softly.  “But on this, a matter that has left me bereft...  I just need to hear it from your lips.  To know for certain if I’m not alone in this.”</p><p>Charlotte continued to look at him.  It felt like her heart had simply stopped beating.  She dropped her eyes and whispered slowly, “Yes, yes I very much wanted to be your wife.”</p><p>He sighed.  “Thank you.”  Charlotte's hand was resting on the table between them.  Sidney reached out and gently placed his hand over hers.</p><p>"That's enough indulgence.  We can't speak of this anymore." Charlotte said trying to make her voice firm, not daring to look at him again but also not moving her hand.</p><p>"Yes, you are right.  We shall move forward.  I do wish you so very much happiness Miss Heywood."</p><p>She twisted her hand and he assumed she was about to pull it away but instead she turned her palm upward in order to entangle her fingers in his.  Surprised he glanced at their hands together and then darted his eyes up at her face.  Her eyes were closed and she had leaned her head back to rest in the chair.  He looked at her longingly, feeling like his heart was being pulled directly out of his own chest towards hers.  He then followed her lead and leaned back and closed his eyes.</p><p>They stayed like that silently holding hands, eyes closed until eventually they heard Mary coming down the hall, clearly talking to be heard.  "Miss White, I will be in the parlor with my guests if you need me."</p><p>Charlotte's hand shrunk away.  She opened her eyes and for a moment allowed them to lock with Sidney’s.  He held her gaze as Mary bustled into the room.  Charlotte stood, "I should be going.  My aunt and uncle will be expecting me.  Thank you Mary for your hospitality.  Please tell the children I will call again soon."</p><p>Charlotte was hurrying out.  "Good day Miss Heywood.". She turned and looked at him, unsure.  He stood, His lips remained parted, his eyes so piercing.</p><p>His desperate, gutted look made Charlotte feel guilty, an engaged man.  "Good day Mr Parker." She mumbled and ducked out of the room.</p><p>Mary had watched their parting closely and then turned to Sidney nervously.  "Oh, was that a poor idea?  I hope you do not mind.  I know that was hardly a proper arrangement."</p><p>Sidney pulled himself together.  "To hell with propriety".  He smiled sadly at her.  </p><p>Mary hesitated.  "I am only too aware of the debt we accrued between you and Miss Heywood, a debt we can never repay.  It haunts me, Sidney, truly."  She looked at him, eyes wide and tearful.  </p><p>"Thank you Mary" he said sincerely, taking her hands in his.  He kissed her cheek and left.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte was still standing out on the sidewalk when Sidney emerged from Bedford Place.  He couldn't help but smile.  It felt like a welcome relief to once again not be able to escape her.</p><p>"Miss Heywood."</p><p>"Mr Parker.  I am afraid I left before giving proper notice for my carriage."</p><p>"Ah, I will wait with you." Her voice was still slightly muted but his had regained its regular volume and confidence.</p><p>"Please don't wait on my account." </p><p>"It would hardly be acceptable for you to be waiting alone on the street, even in this neighborhood."</p><p>She nodded.  "Very well"</p><p>"Miss Heywood, how do…"</p><p>She cut him off and spoke quickly in a hushed tone,  "I don't think we should speak without a third party present.  We have just clearly proven that we do not deserve the privilege of privacy."</p><p>"Ah, yes, quite."  An edge of hurt tinged his airy response but Charlotte continued to stare straight ahead at the street.  They stood side by side in silence until her carriage pulled up.  He opened the door for her, gave her his hand for assistance and then nodding closed the door and walked off.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte carefully collapsed back in her seat.  </p><p>"Who was that gentleman?" Aunt Beatrice asked, sensing the tension between them.</p><p>"Mr Sidney Parker.  Tom Parker's brother."</p><p>Beatrice looked at Charlotte carefully, assessing her features.  She hesitated briefly.  "Your mother told me you were quite taken with him this summer.  Should you be alone with him as you were?"</p><p>Charlotte huffed defensively, "He only waited for the carriage with me.  How scandalous can it be if we are in full view of the street?."</p><p>Beatrice was surprised by her heated reaction.  She had never known Charlotte to be short or rude.  But she only nodded and said meaningfully, "Perhaps I only mean to look out for your heart"  She looked out the window as they rode on.  "He is quite handsome."  Charlotte had no response.  But Beatrice vowed to herself that she would have to be more careful monitoring Charlotte’s invitations and excursions.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney stalked back to Crowe's house.  He was restless and in a state after the afternoon's surprising turn.  How good it felt to be in her presence again.  To touch her.  He touched her!  He not only touched her, he threw himself at her feet and put his head in her lap!  Did that really happen?  And then the peace of simply holding her hand in silence.  That alone had been heavenly.  But nothing was changed.  He should not have done that to her.  That was certainly not the behavior of a gentleman, not the behavior she deserved.  Goddamn him.</p><p>Crowe was out when Sidney arrived home but he took the liberty of retiring to his study.  He took off his coat and poured himself a drink.  He didn’t drink it.  He looked out onto the street from the front windows.  He paced.  He took the drink.  He removed his vest.  He perused the books on the shelves.  Paced some more.  The cage was constricting tighter and tighter.  He felt hot, suffocated.  And then by the most ironic luck his fiance, Mrs Campion, herself called on him.  The butler showed her to the study.</p><p>She took in Sidney’s appearance, his frantic face.  “My goodness Sidney, whatever is the matter?”</p><p>He looked at her stunned, confused by her arrival.</p><p>“Well??”</p><p>He still didn’t answer.</p><p>“Goodness, this will not do.  Have you been drinking again?”</p><p>“Hardly.”</p><p>Eliza walked to him and grabbed his hand gently.  She looked up at him.  “Please dearest you know you can share anything with me.”</p><p>He looked at her blankly  "Do you not regret our engagement?"</p><p>She looked as if she had been slapped and he immediately regretted the question and the hurt it caused her but he was not interested in keeping up the charade.  "Heavens, what a question Sidney!"</p><p>He pulled his hand from hers “But do you?”</p><p>Eliza was shocked.  She knew things certainly had not been as happy or exciting as their first engagement.  An engagement born of financial necessity is never terribly romantic.  Surely Sidney was embarrassed.  He had gently spurned her advances at the regatta and probably still harbored feelings for that Sanditon girl but this was all temporary.  They would fall back in love once he came to terms with everything.  She truly believed it and kept her composure as she answered, “My love, we were parted for ten years and now we are to be married.  Why would I ever regret this reunion?”  </p><p>Sidney walked across the room, back to the front windows.  He briefly hesitated and then said quietly, “Because I will never love you.” </p><p>“Sidney, you ARE drunk.  I will not abide by this!”</p><p>He looked at her sadly.  “I am not drunk.  And while in time I may grow to be accustomed to our partnership it will never result in love.  Does that not bother you?”</p><p>“I came here to see if you wanted to go for a stroll and this is what I am met with?!”  She was deeply hurt and angry but quickly leveled her voice and settled on her narrative.  “I do not appreciate you drinking like this during the day.  It is most unbecoming and will not do.  We will speak again when you are in your right mind.”  She strode out of the room.</p><p>He knew he should feel shame and a strong fear of Eliza’s potential to destroy him and Tom and all of Sanditon but he simply didn’t have the heart to care what was to come next.  Perhaps he was subconsciously trying to sabotage the union.  Perhaps he felt if he pushed her enough she would leave him again.  Perhaps he should just stay in for the rest of the day as this seemed to be a day for reckless and potentially dangerous behavior.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte passed the next few weeks peacefully.  She went to the circus with her aunt and uncle and it was just as thrilling for her as it was for her young cousins.  She went to restaurants and visited some relatives she hadn't seen in years with her aunt.  She sat and sketched the grand architecture in the city and reminded herself she needed to write to Mr Stringer and encourage him to reapply for his apprenticeship immediately.  She and her aunt and uncle even dined at Bedford Place a couple evenings.  Mary had been sure to mention in private notes that Sidney would not be present.  Overall it was a very pleasant and leisurely way to spend the autumn.  Uncle Stephen and Aunt Beatrice were in a different social sphere and neighborhood than the Parkers so on most occasions she had little reason to fear running into Sidney.  Yet she was still haunted by the apprehension of seeing him.  It felt she was always glancing around, making sure he wasn’t there and then feeling a twinge of disappointment when he wasn’t.</p><p>She saw Georgiana fairly often, each time her aunt accompanied her on their visits, either waiting downstairs reading in Mrs Griffith’s parlor or walking several paces behind them on the sidewalk.  It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Charlotte but it seemed likely that being Georgiana’s guardian, Sidney could turn up at some point in these visits and he certainly would not be a suitable chaperone for the two girls.  She felt she must respect the confidence of her sister in law and be cautious.</p><p>Georgiana teased her for her aunt’s vigilance.  “How does it feel to be a carefully watched captive after your freedom in Sanditon?  Finally you can feel my pain.”</p><p>“Oh no” Charlotte said as they lounged on the sofa in Georgiana’s private sitting room together.  “I certainly have more freedom than Mrs Griffiths allows you.  And I don’t know the city well anyway.  Aunt Beatrice is just being a fine hostess.”</p><p>“She knows of your relationship to my guardian does she not?”  Georgiana grinned.</p><p>Charlotte blushed and picked a piece of lint off of her dress.  “She knows something of him.  Certainly not the extent of our relationship.  Our past relationship.” she corrected herself.</p><p>“The extent of your relationship?  It sounds like there are still details I do not know Charlotte.”  And it was true.  Charlotte had not told Georgiana that she and Sidney kissed, or that he caught her as she was leaving Sanditon to tell her he didn’t love Mrs Campion or about their private tea at Bedford Place.  Charlotte couldn’t even imagine sharing such intimate moments with Georgiana, especially considering her tie to Sidney.</p><p>“How is the book you were telling me about?” she asked awkwardly.</p><p>“Charlotte, you are abominable at evading questions but I shall not press.  A lady needs her secrets.”</p><p>The girls were happy to be reunited and enjoyed their time together but Charlotte could tell that something was weighing on Georgiana’s mind.  She knew she had not been in contact with Otis again.  They had spoken freely on that.  Georgiana had other acquaintances to call on and was able to get out more than she had in Sanditon.  It seemed that she should be happier in her beloved London but Charlotte could see the unrest in her.  </p><p>“I am just contemplating what comes next Charlotte” Georgiana had answered one afternoon when Charlotte questioned her in the park.  </p><p>“What a mysterious thing to say!”</p><p>“No, in all honesty, I feel, with the exception of my relationship with Otis, my interests, my goals, my life has been designed by others.  I must find a way to break free.  I will go mad otherwise.”</p><p>They walked on, Charlotte digesting her words.  “I certainly understand your reasoning and do not feel you are in the wrong.  Just please, please do not be reckless.”  Her eyes conveyed the deep concern she felt.  They didn’t speak of the trauma of Georgiana’s abduction directly.  But Georgiana understood that Charlotte’s reluctance stemmed from the seriousness of that event and the sincere love she felt for her.</p><p>“I am being most cautious.  I swear to you.”  She smiled reassuringly and they walked on admiring the fall foliage.</p><p> </p><p>“Now let us speak on Mr Parker, shall we?”  It was exactly what Charlotte had been dreading since she first received her letter from Lady Suan back in Willingden.  She had arrived for tea and their reunion had been lovely.  Susan’s solarium had astounded Charlotte and she very much enjoyed discussing botany with her and seeing her exotic plant species from the Americas.  She remembered immediately how easy it was to be with Susan, how bright she was and how smoothly conversation flowed.  But at this question Charlotte’s guard automatically went up.</p><p>“Oh there is not much to speak of.  He chose Mrs Campion, it is a very sensible match.”  Charlotte had practiced this answer and was relatively pleased with her casual tone.</p><p>"Come now Charlotte!  I thought we were more intimate than this.  I heard from one of my sources that he had sent her home early from the regatta but if you do not wish to speak on it we do not need to." </p><p>Susan’s comforting voice reached Charlotte deeply and she couldn't resist the opportunity to fully unburden herself to someone.  "I believe he did encourage her to leave early.  He and I came to an agreement of sorts shortly afterwards."</p><p>Susan smiled knowingly, "An agreement of sorts sounds most positive.  But then why did that agreement not hold?"</p><p>Charlotte squirmed.  She felt very uncomfortable sharing information about Tom’s poor management and lack of insurance.  Susan had been such a great asset at the regatta.  She didn't want her to think poorly of Sanditon now.  "Our agreement was not formal in any way and then that very evening there was a terrible fire.  The Terrace, which was so close to completion, burned down.  The Parker's then owed a great debt that they could not afford to repay.  Sidney went to London to get funding.". She stopped.  She thought of their parting, at that moment they had been a team, working together.  Things had changed so drastically.  "Mrs Campion is sponsoring the loan now.". She said quietly.  </p><p>Lady Susan sat for a moment.  "Dear Charlotte, that is a very tragic story, ripped straight from the stage even!  I am very sorry."</p><p>Charlotte sniffled and quickly wiped her eyes.  "Thank you.  I confess it has been most difficult."</p><p>"Well I suppose it doesn't make anything easier but I have seen them out together and he looks miserable."</p><p>"Oh he is so lost!  He is not the man I first met." Charlotte blurted out.</p><p>Susan looked at her curiously.  "Have you seen him recently?"</p><p>Charlotte went red and nodded.  Susan sat and waited.</p><p>Charlotte looked down at her hands "I have seen him and in fact we've spoken quite frankly with one another and …. of our enduring feelings.  I know it is hardly the way to behave but we can't seem to…". She broke off, thinking.  "You understand romantic relationships better than I, is it terribly uncommon for a, well, parted couple to speak so honestly with each other?"</p><p>Susan was careful with her words.  "It can happen and I think honesty certainly has its benefits.  However, in the vast majority of these cases it is the woman who pays for any indiscretion and sometimes pays quite dearly.  You do understand me, my dear?"</p><p>Charlotte nodded solemnly.</p><p>"You have not, your intimacy has not extended beyond honesty has it?". Susan had underestimated Charlotte and the depth of this relationship with Sidney.  She wanted to make sure she could offer real support and guidance if things had truly gone further than they ought.</p><p>"No, we embraced on our last meeting, which I know was very wrong.  I told him we could no longer indulge our feelings.". Susan reached over and rubbed her knee gently.  She felt conflicted over these revelations.  It pained her own heart to see a couple so well matched pulled asunder.  But Sidney and Charlotte were being reckless and while she certainly had no right to preach morality she worried for Charlotte.  She was too young and unestablished to gain a reputation.  Perhaps it was time to introduce her around and see if a new romance could shake her from the spell of Sidney Parker.</p><p>"That must have been painful but certainly for the best.  Charlotte, dear, you have been through so much.  Let me take you out a bit while you're here.  Let me spoil you a little."  Susan smiled kindly at her and Charlotte wondered how she had been so lucky to fall into this friendship.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Georgiana and Sidney were in his carriage on their way to the Opera.  He had desperately wanted to invite Charlotte.  He wanted to be the one to take her to the Opera for the first time, to walk in with her and see her reaction to the building, the grandeur of it all, to take in the music, the costumes, the sets.  He had considered inviting her aunt and uncle as well so that she would feel comfortable and he would be forced to behave.  He simply wanted to be in her presence, no agenda, no ulterior motive.  And yet it would still mean something.  It would still signify a tie between them.  He meant it when he said he wanted her to be happy and he knew that meant he had to remove himself from her world.  So it would just be him and Georgiana.  Luckily, because he had debated inviting the Heywoods, he had not extended an invitation to Eliza, making it a more relaxed night.</p><p>"And what is the latest news on the Terrace rebuild?". Georgiana asked him politely as they bounced along the cobbled streets.</p><p>"They are still working on repairing damage to the foundation.  It is careful work but it should be done soon and then we will be able to bring in a variety of laborers all at once to work on the various interior jobs.". Sidney received updates from Tom but also directly from Mr Stringer as well.  Both Eliza and Lady Denham had demanded that he was to have the final say on all future work.  He had immediately hired a separate bookkeeper to organize all the past expenses and keep track of things going forward but it was still an immensely stressful job.  Appeasing, scolding and gently controlling Tom was certainly the most difficult and careful work of the whole blasted mess.</p><p>"I think you should be cautious about the scope of the next phase of the Terrace project.  I believe it was foolish of Tom to try to finish such a large project in one go." Georgiana said carefully.</p><p>"What would you have us do, have our summer guests pay to stay in a construction zone?” Sidney replied gruffly, obviously annoyed.</p><p>“I simply mean that the whole venture should be excessively careful in its spending and not over extend itself in any way.”  She paused for a few moments.  “If Mrs Campion were to withdraw her funding then Sanditon would be in an even more precarious position than before.”</p><p>"Whatever would make you believe that Mrs Campion would withdraw her funding?"</p><p>Georgiana shrugged.  "Arrangements change."</p><p>Sidney looked at her sternly.  “You have been reading too many sensational novels.  You wish that things will change and that…”  He couldn’t even bring himself to say it.  “But it is only foolish dreaming.  Engagements are not to be made and broken at will.  It simply is not to be done and especially when there is so much at stake.”</p><p>“Did you not do exactly that to Miss Heywood?”</p><p>He was angry now.  “Indeed not!  We were not engaged.”</p><p>“But she knew of your intentions does that still not count?  I warned her about you and then you immediately proved me right!”  Georgiana’s voice rose in anger.</p><p>“The circumstances were beyond my control!”  Sidney banged his cane on the carriage floor and then took a couple deep breaths.  He hardly wanted to lose his temper moments before stepping out into the glittering society of the opera.  He started again, more composed.  “I deeply regret the mistakes I made.  My intentions towards Miss Heywood were most sincere and I certainly never meant her any harm.  However, we must all simply move forward.  She will surely find love again.”</p><p>“And so you mean to simply avoid her for the rest of your life?  She is a dear friend to me, perhaps the only authentic friend I have.  I will not give her up.”  Georgiana said obstinately.</p><p>Sidney sighed frustrated.  “Of course, I would never ask you to relinquish your relationship with her.  Do you not realize that I clear your schedule with Mrs Griffiths?  I know your scheduled social visits.  I know when Miss Heywood is there.”  He dropped his voice and looked out of the carriage window.  “If only you knew how closely I have come to using your schedule as a way to see her.  But I have vowed that I will stay out of her way, that I will do nothing that can bring her any further pain.”  He cleared his throat and resumed his regular volume again.  “But of course, you and Miss Heywood shall maintain your relationship with no trouble on my end.”</p><p>Georgiana eyed him carefully, “I do not like when you reveal yourself to be of good character.  It makes it more difficult for me to rebel against your guardianship.”</p><p>Sidney laughed out loud relieved by the break in the tension.  “Yes, I am quite a brute in that regard.”  He patted her hand, “Let us have a nice night.”</p><p>Georgiana gave him a genuine, if small, smile and nodded.</p><p> </p><p>The comfort they shared in the carriage did not last long however for on entering the lobby they immediately saw Eliza.  She was there with her friends, Mr and Mrs Darlington and Lord Braxton.  Georgiana immediately rolled her eyes.  “I suppose we cannot simply pretend we do not see them.”</p><p>Sidney drew his eyebrows together as if briefly considering it.  “No, here we go.” he said taking her elbow.</p><p>“Sidney, darling, well met!”  Eliza gushed in a manner that Sidney instantly recognized as false.</p><p>“Eliza, you did not mention we were meeting Mr Parker.” Mrs Darlington.  Sidney couldn’t quite read her expression but it wasn’t difficult to see that under her forced and polite social facade she was not thrilled by his presence either.  </p><p>“Oh yes, I must have forgotten.  We will be seated separately though.”  Eliza said with a strained wide smile.  “This is Miss Georgiana Lambe, Sidney’s delightful ward.  Miss Lambe this is Mr and Mrs Darlington and Lord Braxton.  Please excuse us, I must speak with Sidney for just a moment.”</p><p>Georgiana shot Sidney a look that threatened him not to leave her but Eliza quickly whisked him to the side before he had a chance to even think of an excuse to stay.  “What are you doing here?  Why didn’t you tell me you were coming tonight?”  she hissed at him.</p><p>“Georgiana and I had plans.  I did not think to tell you.”  He said casually, looking beyond her at the relief decor on the walls.  </p><p>“Do not pretend like this isn’t improper!  I am your fiance.  It makes me look terribly foolish to not only attend the opera separately from you but to also not know that you are attending at all!  I will not have you make a mockery of this relationship Sidney.  It is enough that people are talking about the fact that we do not have a date set yet.”</p><p>“Are people talking about that?” he asked with a trace of genuine interest.</p><p>“Yes!  Of course!  It reflects very poorly on our relationship.  Now we will simply say that you are here for a quiet evening with Georgiana.”  </p><p>“Yes, well I am.” he said trying not to let too much frustration seep into his voice.</p><p>“You are intolerable sometimes.” she said angrily.  “Now smile and be social for a moment and then go to your seats.”  Sidney nodded silently and was happy to be led back to the relative safety of Georgiana.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just catching up on our sad friend.  Tomorrow there will be a slightly longer chapter than usual.  Send you off into the weekend properly.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>All the kids are home from school, husband's working from home.  A lot less freedom to write and edit these days.  Damn virus.  </p><p>In all seriousness though, I love that I have this right now.  It has been a wonderfully fun distraction and I hope it offers you the same!  Take care and stay safe Sanditon friends!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lady Susan proved to be a very good distraction for Charlotte.  They didn’t speak of Sidney again after their first conversation although Susan kept a watchful eye on him and Mrs Campion whenever she saw them out.  If Sidney knew of Charlotte's feelings there wasn't much meddling would do.  The cards were on the table.  So for now she worked on entertaining and distracting Charlotte.  She enjoyed taking her to the museum and a gathering with some of her most interesting and intellectual friends.  Both events captivated Charlotte and left her very inspired.  But as Charlotte’s London visit was drawing nearer to a close Lady Susan couldn't help but allow her young lovers one last meeting.</p><p>“Charlotte” Susan said as she bustled into the parlor one afternoon followed by a maid loaded up with a rainbow of beautiful gowns.  “Mrs Maudesly is having her harvest ball this Saturday and I am in desperate need of your accompaniment.  Come let us choose your dress.”</p><p>“Mrs Maudesly?  Is she not the hostess of the ball where we met?” Charlotte asked slowly.</p><p>“Yes, yes, you are correct.  She holds one major ball for each season.  The spring is the most lovely perhaps but the Harvest ball is very nice as well.  Come now.”  Susan said, plainly ignoring Charlotte’s consternation, as she started unloading her old gowns from her maid’s arms.</p><p>They had chosen a rose colored gown with delicate gold and ivory beading and had it fitted to perfection.  Lady Susan had taken control of everything in the days leading to the ball.  “The rose gown matches the color of your natural flush so nicely.  It is most becoming on you to be sure.”  “Mrs. Hankins, her hair is so lovely with its natural curls so we will embrace that by pulling it up more loosely and then accentuating the waves by stringing this strand of pearls throughout.”  By the time she was ready on Saturday evening Charlotte felt she never had and never would again feel so elegant.  It was such a glamorous way to bid farewell to her time in London.</p><p>As they were putting on their jewelry Charlotte built up the courage to ask, “They will most likely be in attendance will they not, Susan?”  </p><p>Susan smiled at her gently.  She didn’t need to ask who Charlotte was referring to.  “Yes, it is most probable.  Mrs Campion is not one to miss a ball such as Mrs Maudesly’s.  I daresay it’s a little late to ask you if you are up to the challenge but by all means we do not have to go if it brings you great anxiety.”</p><p>“No, I love to dance and this is the last grand ball I may ever attend once I return home.  Your kindness has been so great in inviting me and giving me this gorgeous gown...No, no, of course I will attend.  A brief greeting with them will be of no real consequence.”</p><p>“Yes, precisely my dear.  And you may take much courage knowing you will certainly outshine Mrs Campion.” Susan smirked naughtily.</p><p>“Oh, that is not my aim at all!”  Charlotte protested, suddenly self conscious by her elaborate appearance.  </p><p>“Well, no, of course not but you cannot help if it is the truth.”</p><p>Charlotte could not help but smile wide and shake her head.</p><p> </p><p>The decor for the harvest ball was as breathtaking as the summer if not more.  The lights were more dim and there were lanterns glittering with candles hanging all above the ballroom floor.  Beautiful gold and orange dahlias were paired with large sunflowers and then delicate sprays of blue bachelors buttons and forget me nots in large arrangements all over.  Charlotte was thrilled to find Georgiana very early on and even more relieved to see that she had come with Mrs Griffiths rather than Sidney.  She introduced Susan and Gerogiana.</p><p>“Ah, Miss Lambe, I have heard things of you that have made me most interested to make your acquaintance.”  Susan greeted her.</p><p>Georgiana bit her lip and cast her eyes sideways assuming that as always someone was referring to her great inheritance and sordid family history.  She couldn’t believe this was the great Lady Susan that Charlotte had gushed about so many times.  She had thought she would be better than the rest of these fake, money obsessed societal ladies.</p><p>But then Susan lowered her voice conspiratorially, “I admire a woman who is willing to take matters into her own hands when it comes to love, even at great risk.  I also hear you have been quite involved in the Sons of Africa in the past and would be very interested to hear more of their work and aims.”  Georgiana was dumbfounded.  “And yes, yes, I hear all of the other gossip about you as well but the common gossip is rarely what interests me most.”  Susan smiled and like that, she had another young protege.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney was settled at the edge of the ballroom floor with a drink, his eyes glued to Charlotte as she was offered dance after dance.  She looked even more lovely than he could ever imagine.  Her dress was complemented beautifully by the golds and oranges of the decor.  As she spun it shone and flowed around her as if made of liquid.  Babington came up beside him.  “Sidney, chap, you are hardly subtle with your attentions.” he said smiling, hoping to casually pull him away and save him from the inevitable gossip of the party and wrath of Eliza.</p><p>Sidney still didn’t avert his eyes, barely even blinked.  "I have only felt alive once since coming to London and that was when I was in her presence.   Every other moment is just like being lost in a trance."</p><p>Babington looked at Sidney eyebrows raised.  "You've seen her since arriving in London?  I don't believe you shared that previously."  </p><p>Sidney tightened his jaw and ignored the question.  "I could manage my way through life if she just married and lived her life in Willingden but whatever will I do if she finds love here in London?  If our paths are to cross continually in society?  God, I am a sad, pathetic fool." he scoffed.</p><p>Babington looked at Charlotte thoughtfully.  When Sidney had lost Eliza years ago he had been heartbroken but also so angry and embarrassed.  He felt he had been cheated and misused and it fueled his temper, his wild behavior.  Now on losing Charlotte he had completely lost himself.  He was right, he was a shell of himself simply living his days through habit.  Sidney Parker was gone.</p><p>Babington hesitated and then spoke, "We have one life to live Sidney.  Perhaps we should make it our best.". He looked at him meaningfully and raised his glass.  Sidney nodded tensely and they both took a drink.</p><p>Esther came through the crowd, "My love, I tire of polite conversation.  Come dance with me so I do not have to speak to any more rouged old ladies.". Sidney watched as Babington's face lit up at her arrival, her voice.  He nodded his departure at Sidney and floated off with his wife.  Sidney was too happy for him to hate him but only just.</p><p>He looked around and saw Eliza on the right side of the room.  She was standing talking to her regular elite group of friends and associates.  She nodded at him and clearly expected him to come and perform along with her.  He was tired of performance.  He turned and saw that the song was ending and before he could even stop to think, to remember that he was breaking all of the vows he made to himself, undoing all of his self restraint, he was striding across the dance floor to Charlotte.  </p><p>He came up behind her and she was startled when she heard his unmistakable deep voice ask for the pleasure of the next dance.  She looked around the room nervously and slowly extended her hand to his.  The music started and they began seamlessly.  </p><p>"I felt perhaps this was admissible as they are many third parties present."</p><p>"Yes, but your intended is among them.  Don't you think this will make her dreadfully unhappy?" Charlotte said nervously.</p><p>He did not care to speak on Eliza.  "I...it has…" Everything he yearned to say was inappropriate.  He wanted to tell her how difficult it had been to stay away from her, that he had looked up her uncle's address and then had to force himself not to purposefully wander into their neighborhood.  He wanted to tell her all of the places he dreamed of taking her while she was in London, all he wanted to share with her.  He wanted to tell her she was all he would ever want, that she was the most radiant woman he had ever met. But of course he could not.  "Perhaps you are right.  Perhaps we should not speak."</p><p>She dared to look up at him and his eyes looked back at her so tenderly, with so much yearning.  She involuntarily sighed and relinquished her defenses.  She melted into the moment and it was suddenly like they were living through the summer ball again.  Here in this same ballroom the love that forged so suddenly in just one dance came bursting up to the surface again.  Swirling together, no one else existed.  Every touch, every shared movement between them was magnified, electric.  She let herself enjoy his warmth and closeness, to know she was dancing with a man who loved her deeply.  </p><p>And then the music stopped and they lingered for a moment not ready to let go.  It was then that the memory of seeing him with Eliza for the first time flooded through her.  She swallowed hard.  The weight of their situation was crushing her.  She had to get out before she burst into tears right there on the floor.  She curtsied and then slipped quickly away.  </p><p>She made her escape to the same room where she had first met Lady Susan.  She remembered there had been a balcony off of the room.  She needed fresh air.  She pushed open the French doors and let the frigid air cover her body, to shock her out of her emotional state.  But then almost immediately she felt his touch on the small of her back.  If she hadn't been so thrilled by his touch she would have been furious.  He had no right to follow her, to keep her thinking they somehow had a chance.  He was to be married and then where would that leave her?  But she couldn’t resist the feeling as his large, warm hands enveloped her waist and she allowed him to guide her behind the open door so that they could not be seen from the inside.  He turned her to face him and leaned down, their lips dangerously close, hovering.  </p><p>"Just choose me."she begged.  It came out of her lips unintended, like breath.  His hands tightened around her waist, pulled her hips to his territorially.  She was immediately mortified.  This certainly was not the way to speak to an engaged man.  But then why not?  He was the one who instigated all of these terribly inappropriate encounters.  She thought of Lady Susan’s words to Georgiana, “a woman who is willing to take matters into her own hands when it comes to love, even at great risk”.  If he was taking liberties then she would too by speaking what was truly on her mind.  </p><p>She straightened her back and looked him in the eyes.  She said it quietly but clearly, "Choose me."  He was obviously surprised by her forthrightness but she didn't give him time to react further.  She slipped from his grasp and back into the throngs of guests.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Okay, Eliza haters, this is for you. ;)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all!  Before we break my precious Eliza's heart I have to throw out a little psa.  I know, we're all sick of hearing about it.  Get it out of my fanfic.  Totally understood.  But...</p><p>My husband works in the health field here in the States.  What is happening right now is real and will be going on for months.  It is most important to practice isolation right now.  Do your part to slow this down.  I know it's painful and scary but we really have to pull together now to avoid much larger pandemonium in the future.</p><p>Take care.  I appreciate you all without even knowing you.  Settle in and read some fanfic.  I'll try to do my part to keep you entertained.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the lifeline Sidney needed to pull him out of his fog of misery.  It offered no solutions.  In fact, it really only offered more problems but hearing Charlotte's two word command he realized he was willing to do anything to follow it.  He stood on the balcony looking out into the dark night, his brain already filing through what needed to be done and in what order.  First on the list was clearly Eliza.</p><p> </p><p>Eliza had watched Sidney watching Charlotte.  She couldn't place her for a moment but then she couldn't believe it when she realized it was little Charlotte Heywood.  What in God's name was she doing here in London, at Mrs Maudesly's Harvest ball?  How had she gotten an invitation?  She wondered if she had been in town long, if Sidney had already seen her elsewhere.  When he disregarded her signal and moved on to dance with Charlotte she felt she might explode.  How could he do this to her?  The song ended.  The girl ran off and Sidney ran after her.  </p><p>She quickly started calculating in her head.  Certainly people had noticed Sidney watching her, dancing with her, leaving with her.  What was the best way to cope with this, to lessen the gossip?  She said casually into her circle of friends, "I feel I would like to dance." Lord Braxton immediately offered her his arm and off they went.</p><p>She noticed that Charlotte came back through the ballroom shortly, alone, so at least that was over.  She decided the best course of action was to just keep dancing.  Sidney eventually returned and settled on the edge of the room again.  She knew he couldn't properly leave without her so she continued to dance taking whatever partner would have her, making it apparent to anyone who might be watching that he was on the sidelines waiting dutifully for her.</p><p>The carriage ride home had been silent.  Sidney knew Eliza had seen everything.  She made it obvious by the way she ignored him and kept him waiting for the rest of the night.  It was hardly reasonable to start their necessary conversation so late at night though so he let the silence settle.  When they arrived at her home he stepped down to help her out of the carriage.  He walked her to the door and said he would call on her tomorrow morning.  She nodded.  He glanced at her face for the first time since leaving the ball and was surprised to see that her silence was not born of rage and jealousy but instead she seemed sad and fearful, smaller than the confident Eliza the world knew.</p><p> </p><p>He arrived back at the Campion townhome at 10:00 the next morning.  He simply wanted to get things settled as quickly as possible.  Eliza met him in the parlor and smiled as if last night had not happened.  "Good morning Sidney!  It looks like it is a very brisk day.  You must be cold.  Come take the seat closest to the fire."</p><p>"Thank you.  It is very windy today, quite cold.". He sat down on the chair offered.  Eliza sat on the sofa facing the fireplace. The unexpected civility, warmth even, caught him off guard and for a moment he wasn't sure where to begin.  </p><p>Eliza saw this and took advantage of his hesitation.  "Do you know, I heard the most interesting story at the ball last night.  You will enjoy this dear." </p><p>"Eliza." Her face froze.  He dove right into the matter.  "Eliza, I have come this morning because I must break our engagement.  I hate to cause you any pain but I feel we are not as well suited as we originally hoped and I cannot in good faith go forward."</p><p>She sat quietly.  She spent her life rearranging truths, conversations, and situations in more beneficial directions.  It was perhaps her finest skill, to make things seem better than they were.  And now she was adrift, unable to respond.  She had been so pleased to arrange their engagement.  Since returning from Antigua Sidney had been well known around town as being devastatingly handsome, moneyed and completely unreachable.  He gave only the most bare, polite attention to the women that attempted to catch his eye and it was well known that he had no interest in marriage.  So while he wasn't the most sought after bachelor in London she did have the immense pride of catching the one that had previously seemed entirely unattainable.  But of course beyond all of the societal games losing Sidney meant losing a man she had loved since she was a girl.</p><p>"I suppose this harkens back to your cruel profession of never being able to love me?". She looked at him challengingly.  "Spoken like a naive man.  If the arrangement isn't perfectly to your specifications why go through with the marriage?  You have options, what a luxury.  Women always must marry for benefit.  We have no other choice.  Heaven forbid one man be put into our degrading position of marrying for money." Sidney winced, of course it was all true.</p><p>“But Eliza, you have money, you are well esteemed in society.  You can marry, or not marry, as you please now.  Why do you even want this?  You certainly cannot be happy with the way things have been?” he asked earnestly as he stood from his chair.</p><p>Eliza gave a sad laugh as her eyes welled with tears, "Is it really so hard to see?  I want this because I love you!  I have loved you always Sidney!  You think I’m cold and aloof but I have had to protect myself, my heart for ten years, wanting a man who was not my husband.  And now I finally had you but in name only, not in your affection.”    Sidney paced agitated and then settled on the sofa next to her.</p><p>“If you have always loved me why did you break our engagement in the first place?” he asked softly.</p><p>“Oh Sidney, you knew my mother.  Our family fortune was running down and you were a decent match, she was happy for it but when Mr Campion came along he was much preferable.  I was merely seventeen and she convinced me that marrying for love only resulted in heartbreak and disappointment over time.  She claimed men were fickle and lost interest in their wives regardless of early passion.  Marrying for societal gain was a clear contract with clear expectations and the room for love or at least fondness to eventually grow.”  She looked at him through tearful eyes and his heart ached for her.</p><p>“That does sound like your mother.” he added wryly.</p><p>Eliza let out a mirthless chuckle.  “She was a most calculating and stubborn woman.”</p><p>“Very similar to someone else I know.” Sidney smirked and Eliza playfully pushed his shoulder.</p><p>They sat quietly for a moment with this rediscovered intimacy.  “Could we not make this work?  If I was not so desperate to keep you I could be kinder.  I know it.” Eliza pleaded.</p><p>Sidney stood up and stepped away from the couch, shaking his head.  “I will always hold you in high esteem and affection but I still don’t believe we could ever truly make each other happy.  We’ve grown in very different directions over the last decade.  I’m a sulky brute and you’re a glittering society jewel."  He smiled sadly at her.</p><p>Eliza whimpered and her bottom lip trembled.  He was leaving her.  After years of daydreaming about being his wife she had come so very close and now it was all over.</p><p>Sidney went on, "I can barely even hope for your forgiveness but I truly am sorry.  I should have never entered into this engagement knowing it was not what I wanted.  Tell the beau monde whatever you wish.  Make me a villain.  I will not hold it against you.”  He hesitated wincing a bit, “Just please perhaps do not do harm to the Sanditon venture for my brother’s sake.”</p><p>Eliza rolled her eyes.  “Damned Sanditon.  Precious Sanditon.”  She started and quickly turned her head to him.  “Miss Heywood.”</p><p>Sidney froze.</p><p>“I am losing you to a farm girl, am I not?!” she said, suddenly incensed.  He didn’t respond.  He couldn’t bear to tell Eliza that she had never even been in the competition.  There was no losing if you didn’t even qualify.  A misstep before the regatta but otherwise Charlotte had always been the clear victor, the woman who reigned over his heart.</p><p>"You may not pursue her immediately Sidney.  I will not have it.  I will not be made a fool.  A country girl with no money, over me!”  He could see that her sadness was quickly hardening over.  In some ways they really were so alike, always protecting themselves with anger or pride.</p><p>“I will certainly not do anything untoward, I understand Eliza.  I will protect your image and follow your lead as long as you do not do anything to harm the reputations of Sanditon or Miss Heywood.  I will also work with my banker to have your investment reimbursed immediately.”</p><p>Eliza laughed haughtily.  “However will you do that my dear?  My money was what saved you.  You have nothing without it.”</p><p>Sidney understood that it was time to leave before things continued to escalate. He also had absolutely no answer to the question posed.  He walked over to her and kissed her hand.  “I bid you farewell and wish you the very best Mrs Campion.”  He grabbed his hat and was quickly gone, out of her home, out of her life.  The moment she heard the door shut Eliza threw herself face down onto the sofa and sobbed.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney went home feeling a dull ache all over for having momentarily seen the Eliza he once loved, now knowing that her heart had stayed true to him despite her abandoning him years ago.  He hated to hurt her when she had made herself so vulnerable to him.  For a brief moment in the parlor he did wonder if maybe once married they could be comfortable enough that they would fall back in love but then he knew their priorities, preferences and goals were so desperately different now that they would simply live a life apart together.  And Charlotte.  There was Charlotte.</p><p>By the time he reached Bedford Place though he was already feeling immensely lighter.  He ran up the front steps two at a time and went straight to his office.  He wrote three letters, one for post, two for immediate delivery.</p><p> </p><p>"Dear Tom,</p><p>Mrs Campion's investment is no longer.  Immediately cease all work.  I will be in Sanditon tomorrow evening to discuss this further.</p><p>Your loving brother,<br/>
Sidney"</p><p> </p><p>"Dear Babington,</p><p>I am making strides towards living the best version of my life as you recommended.  I will call this afternoon unless you send message of an objection.  Can you possibly clear your schedule to arrive in Sanditon in a fortnight?</p><p>Your dear friend,<br/>
Sidney"</p><p> </p><p>"Dear Mr Heywood,</p><p>The Parker family would be most pleased to host your family for dinner this evening.  We regret the late invitation but would so much enjoy the pleasure of Miss Heywood's company before she travels home.</p><p>Our very best,<br/>
The Parker siblings"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was going to break this up a bit but heck, we could all use some extra excitement in our lives so let's just get these crazy kids back in same room together already!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I don't know what to make of this late invitation.  It does seem odd does it not?" Stephen asked Beatrice.</p><p>She read it over.  "Yes indeed."</p><p>"And have not Mr and Mrs Tom Parker already left for Sanditon?"</p><p>"Oh yes, I believe that was two or three weeks now."</p><p>"So I suppose it is Arthur and Diana who are hosting us.  It does seem strange that they would not simply sign their names.  Although, the late invitation and awkward signature would perhaps match Arthur Parker's character." Stephen mused.  "Do you think he fancies Charlotte?". He asked suddenly.</p><p>Beatrice shook her head, "No, they seem quite friendly but I do not see a sign of romantic interest in either."  She was thinking, debating how much to share with her husband.  "Do you think their brother Sidney is staying at Bedford Place now that Tom Parker's family has vacated?"</p><p>"Oh yes, I had quite forgotten there was another sibling.  Well I suppose that would make more sense to sign as siblings rather than three separate names.  Well no matter anyway, we will attend as it would make Charlotte quite happy I'm sure".  Stephen set the card aside and picked his newspaper back up, his little mystery neatly solved and promptly forgotten.</p><p>"Hmm.."</p><p>"Yes dear?" He asked, lowering the paper enough to peer over at her.</p><p>"I must put you in my confidence on a matter pertaining to Mr Sidney Parker before we attend a dinner in his home."  Stephen folded the paper and put it down, all ears.</p><p> </p><p>When Charlotte heard they were dining at Bedford Place she panicked internally.  Obviously her aunt and uncle had not attended the ball, did not know that just the night before their niece told an engaged man to choose her over his fiance.  She was internally screaming.  Why did she say that?  Did it encourage him to continue to act inappropriately?  Did it make him think she wanted to be his mistress?!  Oh God.  Oh God.  It was as Lady Susan warned her.  She could not beg off from the dinner.  The invitation was already accepted specifically on her behalf.  She tried to convince herself it was only from Arthur and Diana, that Sidney would be absent as he had been at the other dinners they attended at Bedford Place.  But the timing was too suspect.  She knew it came from him.  Oh God.</p><p> </p><p>They were shown into the front room on their arrival and there met by Diana, Arthur and Sidney.  Port was poured and the awkward little party was on its way.</p><p>"Oh I was so pleased when Sidney told us he had arranged this little gathering!". Arthur pressed Charlotte's hand and Charlotte immediately glanced at her aunt to see her reaction.  She was looking straight at Charlotte, her face set with a concerned and serious expression.  Charlotte couldn't help but notice that Uncle Stephen seemed to react to this statement as well.  She groaned to herself, he knew.  This was going to be a stressful evening.</p><p>The polite conversation flowed easily enough.  Beatrice and Stephen had built a friendly relationship with Diana and Arthur over their weeks hosting Charlotte.  The four of them carried the conversation well and Charlotte was happy to sit quietly on the edge of their circle.  She felt Sidney's eyes on her constantly though.  He was restless.  He sat on the far side of the room for a while and then got up and walked the room a bit, pretending to arrange the decanters on the table.  He lingered at the bookcase for a while.  He then walked over and stood close to her chair.  She felt he was trying to attract her attention but she refused to look his way.</p><p>"Charlotte, how was the ball last night?  Did you enjoy yourself?" Diana asked and then continued to prattle on,  "I, myself, find I can no longer attend Mrs Maudesly's balls.  They are simply too crowded and overwhelming.  I feel I could faint the moment I enter the ballroom."</p><p>"I quite know how you feel.  They are overwhelming." Charlotte said quietly.  She felt Sidney's eyes on her intently.  He cleared his throat.</p><p>"I detest to bring business into a family gathering but Miss Heywood, I received a letter from Tom today and he has sensitive Sanditon business that he would like to hear your opinion on if you don't mind terribly?" Sidney's voice sent tingles down her spine.</p><p>"Oh?" Arthur started but Sidney quickly shot him a look.  "Oh." he muttered looking down, chastened and confused.</p><p>"We could perhaps just very briefly discuss it in the study?" Sidney continued.</p><p>It was Beatrice's turn to now shoot Stephen a look.  "Oh, business talk at a dinner is hardly appropriate.  And while I don't don't underestimate my niece's brilliance, quite the opposite really, I don't know if her opinion is so critical that we must break up our party right now." Stephen tried to sound casual and yet authoritative.</p><p>"I assure you that Miss Heywood's ideas and opinions are quite critical to the Sanditon endeavour.  It will be but a moment and then we shall all go through to the dining room." Sidney said more confidently then he felt.  He hardly wanted to make a poor impression on Charlotte's family but he needed to speak to her before she left London.  "Miss Heywood?"</p><p>Charlotte looked over at her aunt.  She nodded at Beatrice trying to assure her that this was fine and reasonable.  But inside she was terrified.  He was taking her privately out of the room in front of everyone.  Was this the start of her ruin?  She would have to be very firm with him once they left earshot that this was hardly her intention at all and that they should simply vow to never see each other again so that this could finally end.</p><p>She followed him out of the room and up the stairs to the study.  He motioned her in before him and her heart stopped when she saw him turn to close the door all but for a crack.  "Mr Parker, I hardly think this is appropri-"</p><p>"Charlotte, please" he cut her off striding to her side from the door.  He was all nervous energy.  She wasn't sure if he was going to grab her or fall at her feet again or run laps around the room.  He took a deep breath to calm down and gently picked up her hand.  "I have sinned greatly against you.  I must beg your forgiveness for ever engaging myself to another when you were all I ever wanted.". She went to pull her hand away.  This was more of the same, more of what they had already been through, suffered through.</p><p>He tightened his grip on her hand.  She looked up at him and was startled by the intensity in his eyes.  "I have broken my engagement to Mrs Campion.  I choose you."</p><p>Charlotte stared at him, was she imagining things?  Could this be the truth?  Sidney watched her.  She was shocked, struggling.  "You're… You're not marrying her?"</p><p>"No" he breathed.</p><p>Tears began to fill her eyes.  "You're free?"</p><p>"Yes.  Well free from my engagement". He paused and she looked at him concerned.  He swallowed.  "I cannot ask for your hand in marriage.  Not right now.  I have nothing, less than nothing.  I could be in debtors prison shortly.  I also have to take some time to preserve Mrs Campion's reputation.  The scandal would fall too much on her and you if we were to be together so soon.  I know it is not ideal and I so wish I could offer you everything now.  But in the meantime I want no promises from you.  If Sanditon fails, if you find love elsewhere I... I hold you to nothing."</p><p>"I am yours Mr Parker.". She whispered, voice breaking.</p><p>"But truly Charlotte we cannot let this one blessing blind us to the reality of what could come.  I don't want you tied…"</p><p>"I am yours." She said again.</p><p>She reached her arms up around his neck and his arms circled her waist.  They embraced tightly.  Charlotte's tears of joy transformed into laughter as the weight of their separation began to melt away.  Sidney lifted her off her feet, still embracing her and spun them both in circles.  He placed her back on her feet and they looked at each other both smiling so widely it felt their cheeks would burst.  He leaned down and kissed her lips softly, gently, happily over and over.  She reached her hands into his hair and pulled his head down closer to her, deepening the kiss, showing him the desire she had been holding in all of these months.  The passion and urgency that built in their kiss was like nothing either had experienced before.  Her hands traveled down his body and slipped in his coat and up his back.  The simple intimacy of her warm hands under his coat made Sidney groan and he walked her backwards, stumbling against a wall.  He left her lips and kissed her ear, down her neck, his hands traveling around her body hungrily, desperately.  With Sidney pressing her against the wall Charlotte could feel his hardness pressed at her center. She felt a delightful tension shoot through her body, a building warmth between her legs.  She gasped and Sidney pulled back, both of them panting.</p><p>"Oh God Sidney.". His name from her lips.  Something about it. He dove for her lips again, his hands cupping her face, his fingers in her hair, his hips pressing.  Charlotte wondered if they could just call a minister and get married this very minute, put her out of this new exquisite torture.  Sidney groaned again, frustrated, and pulled himself back again clearly feeling the same intense desire.</p><p>"Charlotte, you will be the death of me and I suddenly have a life I very much want to live for." He whispered in a ragged voice.  She smiled coyly and stretched up to kiss his stubbled chin, his jawline.</p><p>"Your aunt and uncle are waiting downstairs."</p><p>Charlotte's eyes widened.  She forgot they were downstairs.  She forgot there was anyone else in the world.  "Oh!  What do we…?  What will we…?"</p><p>He stepped back as she smoothed her dress.  He straightened his coat and then reached out and intimately tucked a portion of her hair back into its comb.  "We will have to keep our love secret for now, until I can properly give your father my intentions, until it doesn't cause scandal.". She looked at him and felt overwhelmed, everything was still so uncertain.  He took her hands.  "I leave for Sanditon tomorrow.  In a fortnight I will come for you in Willingden and bring you to Sanditon.  We will be meeting to make decisions about how to move forward on the endeavour.  I will need you and your problem solving skills."</p><p>"I am not sure my parents will allow me.  My mother...I told my mother about you…" Charlotte said quietly, a little embarrassed.</p><p>Sidney couldn't help but smile, his eyes sparkling with a teasing he wouldn't inflict, not now anyway.  "I will have Tom write to them requesting your presence and will do my best to appease them when I come.  You prepare them as best as you know how."  He kissed her on the forehead.  "Come now.  Downstairs."</p><p>Sidney apologized to the group for keeping them waiting and then invited them to move through to the dining room, mostly to give himself and Charlotte a moment to compose themselves in the shuffle.  Charlotte was not so lucky however.  Aunt Beatrice was immediately at her side.</p><p>“You look flushed my dear.  Was the news of Sanditon terribly serious?”  Up close Aunt Beatrice noticed the redness on Charlotte’s chin, her lips swollen.  “You’ll be sitting next to me my dear.”</p><p>“Yes aunt.”  Charlotte loved her Aunt Beatrice and her usual lively spirit and sense of humor.  She was only eight years older than Charlotte and she had always greatly looked up to her, almost like the older sister Charlotte never had.  This stern side was one that Charlotte had never seen before and a side that she could tell that Beatrice felt uncomfortable having to take on.  She felt dreadful that her behavior caused Beatrice to worry so, was causing so much strain to their relationship.  </p><p>Dinner had passed without further drama.  Charlotte stayed quiet mostly.  She did her best not to even look at Sidney because she wasn't sure how she could control her face if she did.  Sidney meanwhile had fallen into good, easy spirits.  Uncle Stephen was seated at his side and seemed to unconsciously enjoy their conversation until he remembered himself and abruptly turned to join another discussion.  Sidney took it in stride, he understood that there was obviously distrust owed to him after he had gone against propriety and Stephen's wishes.  He felt however, that in time, they could potentially get along quite well.  This thought made his heart expand, that he could be spending future holidays with Stephen and Beatrice, that they would be doting relations to any children he and Charlotte had.  His future was beginning here at this table and he couldn’t help but look up at Charlotte with a gaze full of such love and wonder that when she felt his attention and looked up it made her smile and blush so furiously that her dinner roll fell right out of her hand and onto the floor.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a little chapter for now.  I've written pretty well ahead but haven't really had the time to tie things together and edit.  I think chapters will still be posting often just maybe not as often as before.  Needy little homebound kids keeping me busy  ;)   Thanks for all of the lovely comments.  It really makes my day!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following morning Beatrice called Charlotte downstairs.  She was sitting at her writing desk.  "Charlotte, it is my intention to write to your mother and strongly urge her not to allow any contact or correspondence between you and Mr Sidney Parker, perhaps the whole Parker family."</p><p>"Oh Aunt, please do not!" cried Charlotte.</p><p>Beatrice looked at her, completely exasperated.  "I honestly do not know what to make of you Charlotte!  You were always such a bright girl with such strong principles and yet the deep shame of seeing you disappear with that man only to reappear clearly after having some sort of illicit dalliance!  I…. He is to marry another Charlotte! Engaged!  What could you be thinking?!  How could you bring such shame to your family?!  And now to beg for the opportunity for it to continue?!"  Her voice had risen and Charlotte was deeply hurt, but certainly not surprised, by her aunt's estimation of her.  </p><p>She dropped her head and stood for a pause, then quietly,  "He is not engaged."</p><p>Beatrice looked at her carefully, waiting for more.</p><p>"He broke off his engagement yesterday."</p><p>"And then immediately had you to his home?" Beatrice said disdainfully.</p><p>Charlotte’s pleading eyes sought hers, "He cannot properly ask for my hand right now as it would only encourage scandal.  I beg you to keep this in the strictest confidence.  I only tell you so you will not think so poorly of me."</p><p>“I do not like this and I must admit I do not trust him.  Regardless of his being engaged or not you can hardly argue that your time spent together yesterday evening was chaste or appropriate.  I saw you on your return Charlotte, flushed, in disarray.  Frankly I am sick over this!”  Beatrice exclaimed.</p><p>Charlotte felt the tears welling in her eyes.  “It is not my intent to make you unhappy Aunt, I swear on it!”</p><p>“Charlotte, promise me you will not see him again until you have received a proper, public proposal?  I do not trust your behavior in his presence.  I fear for you.”</p><p>Charlotte began to cry in earnest.  “I cannot promise that, I cannot.  I am so sorry.”</p><p>“However do you expect me to let you fall into his arms unwed?  I must warn your parents.”  </p><p>Charlotte dropped to her knees in front of her aunt, “Please, please do not.  I am going home.  How will I see him anyway?  Please keep my confidence.  Please.”</p><p>Beatrice took Charlotte’s hands.  “This is not the Charlotte I know.  I worry, I truly worry.”</p><p>“I will be most cautious, I swear it.”</p><p>“I cannot talk on this matter anymore.  I can barely stand to think on it.  That is all.”</p><p>Charlotte hesitated, then sighing lifted herself up and went back to her room to finish packing.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney had stopped by Mrs Grifftiths to say goodbye to Georgiana.  He had sent word yesterday afternoon that he would be leaving for Sanditon.  He was shocked to walk in and almost immediately trip over a trunk.  Mrs Griffiths came hurrying nervously over to him.</p><p>“Forgive me Mr Parker!  She has taken it into her head that she is going to Sanditon with you.  I told her that was not your intention but she ordered Crockett to pack and bring everything down.  Please, you will have to speak with her.”</p><p>Sidney rolled his eyes and stormed up the stairs.  He impatiently rapped on the door with his cane.  “Georgiana!”</p><p>She opened it and came face to face with his angry countenance.  “Sidney” she said enthusiastically, “I am so excited for our trip.  I will be ready to leave momentarily!”  </p><p>“You know you were not invited.  This is an urgent business trip, nothing more.  There will be no time for pleasure or keeping track of you for that matter.” he growled.</p><p>“Most excellent, for I am also traveling purely for business reasons.  It is most fortunate that our plans lined up so well.” Georgiana replied hurrying around the room with her maid, Crockett, finalizing their packing.</p><p>Sidney looked at the ceiling and tried to compose himself but couldn’t keep the annoyance out of his voice.  “For heaven’s sake, what business do you have in Sanditon?”</p><p>“Why investing of course.  We have spoken on it in the past!”</p><p>He pounded his cane on the floor.  “We have spoken on it and I have told you it is not only unadvisable but also completely impossible.  I will not relent on this matter.”</p><p>Georgiana motioned for her maid to leave and she sat down calmly on her bed.  She watched Sidney for a moment, thinking.  “What business do you have in Sanditon right now that is so incredibly urgent?  It is almost winter already, what could be so very pressing right now in a seaside resort?”</p><p>“The season has nothing to do with it.  Business doesn’t stop just because the visitors are away.” he replied gruffly.</p><p>“I see.  Still, you have been able to conduct all of your business by letter since August.  It just seems surprising I suppose.”</p><p>“No matter to you.  You will not be coming, you will not be investing.  That is final.”  </p><p>“Crockett, please have Mr Parker’s driver load my trunk.” Georgiana called to her maid through the closed door.  She smiled archly at Sidney.  “I am going to Sanditon with you.”</p><p>Sidney clenched his jaw tightly, his temper on the edge of explosion but then thought that perhaps it might be easier to fetch Charlotte from Willingden if he had Georgiana with him.  “Fine.  Bring Crockett.  I will need some sort of help keeping you in line.” he said gruffly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aunt Beatrice did not come to see Charlotte off at the carriage.  She begged off with a headache.  Stephen had his young sons give their farewells inside the house so he could walk Charlotte out privately.  “You have put her in a very difficult position Charlotte.  Truly.  Asking her to keep a secret from her own in-laws.  And she worries about you terribly.”  Stephen said gently as they stood outside the carriage. </p><p>“It causes me great despair Uncle.  I am so very sorry.”</p><p>“Well, it is hardly an easy situation.  I have convinced Beatrice that I will take care of this.  I am used to earning my brother's disapproval.”  He took a deep breath and exhaled it.  “I am not sending warning to your parents.  I know them both well enough and know that Mr Parker would not be their ideal candidate for marriage in any situation.  He is too worldly for their taste.”  Stephen chuckled a bit to himself.  Charlotte felt a wave of relief building.  “If you are so set on this union you hardly need further reasons for your father to refuse him. That said Charlotte, I am still not comfortable with this arrangement.  I pray that you will be on your guard.  Guard your heart and your reputation most closely.  Promise me.”</p><p>“I will Uncle, I will.  Thank you.  Thank you.”  Charlotte threw her arms around him in a loving hug.  </p><p>Uncle Stephen sighed and then mumbled, “I may have also sent Mr Parker a very strongly worded and threatening letter.”  Charlotte laughed and hugged him tighter.</p><p> </p><p>Georgiana and Sidney barely spoke the whole ride to Sanditon.  Georgiana knew she had pushed her luck by insisting to come and trying to converse with him would probably be more trouble than it was worth.  During the drive though, she couldn't help but notice that a change had occurred in him; his posture was straighter, his eyes were keener.  And yet he also seemed more relaxed.  Something had shifted, he had regained himself.</p><p>As they got closer to Sanditon however Sidney seemed increasingly conflicted.  He kept glancing at her, intaking breath as if about to speak but then stopping himself.  Finally as they were about an hour from Sanditon he spoke.  “You will be staying at Trafalgar House so no doubt you will be hearing all of the news shortly.”  He glanced at Crockett.  “Miss Crockett, you will keep this under strictest confidences I know.”  She nodded and proceeded to look out the window, allowing for some semblance of privacy.  Georgiana subconsciously leaned in eagerly.</p><p>“Mrs Campion is no longer investing in Sanditon.  We are in fact no longer affianced.”  He quickly glanced at her and then averted his eyes.  </p><p>She pressed her lips together trying to hold back her smile.  “Yes, go on.”  She said with false casualness.</p><p>“There is no more to elaborate on.  While in Sanditon Tom and I will simply be trying to decide on the best path forward.  Ideally one that keeps us out of prison.”  he added under his breath.</p><p>"This is a fascinating turn of events.  And to imagine, I had heard that engagements are not to be broken.  How interesting."  Georgiana said smugly.  Sidney exhaled loudly and refused to look at her.  "Does Charlotte know yet?"  She added in a gentler tone.  </p><p>"Charlotte has nothing to do with the financial matters we are discussing."  He answered shortly.</p><p>She nodded with fake gravity and decided not to press.  Instead she straightened up and made her pitch, "Well this seems as good of a time as any to propose my investment plan."</p><p>"Good God Georgiana!  Give it a rest!  This is your father's money that he set aside for your future!"</p><p>"No!  Enough!". He had not expected such a ferocious response and was taken aback.  "This is not my father's money!  This money rightfully belongs to my mother and all of the other slaves that gave their lives so that my father could attain wealth!  He may have been a savior figure to you and a good father to me but to those men and women and children he was a thief.  He took everything from them Sidney!  Everything!". She began to cry.  She had meant to be firm in these statements but the emotion of them was too heavy.</p><p>Sidney reached across the carriage and put his hand on hers.  He looked her in the eye and said earnestly, "Your father was a good man.  He saw the error of his ways.  He freed all of his slaves.  You know that is not common practice."</p><p>"At his death!  AT HIS DEATH Sidney!!!!  He didn't do it when he married my mother!  He didn't do it when I was born!  Did he not see that we were the same as those people he considered property?!  Did he even think we were equal to him?  Or were we also lesser?  Were we also worthy of being bought and sold?!". Her chest heaved in sobs as she fell into Crockett's arms.  Sidney looked on helplessly as Crockett comforted her.</p><p>Once she had regained some semblance of composure she apologized wiping her eyes, "Forgive me, I certainly did not mean to unburden myself like that in front of you."</p><p>"Goodness Georgiana, please do not apologize.  I cannot answer for your father or his actions.  All I can do is assure you that he adored both you and your mother.  Please know that."</p><p>She exhaled shakily. "Yes, I know.  It does not make the matter easier to handle however.  Sidney you must see, this money weighs on me.  If I were to spend it on a country estate and a London townhome and lavious society events it would be an act of further degradation against those that earned it.". Sidney went to speak but she raised her hand to stop him.  "I do not intend to waste this fortune away but I want it to help others.  I plan in time to give a portion to the Sons of Africa and a portion to other abolitionist causes as I see fit.  But if I can also invest money in something that will benefit those I….care about then why would I not?  You have never been my favorite person but what good would it do me if you were jailed?  I would probably just be assigned another foul tempered male guardian."  She smiled weakly.  </p><p>Again Sidney went to speak and again she stopped him.  "In addition, the world is full of Edward Denham's who look down on me but want my money.  Heaven forbid one is charming enough to fool me into marriage and then make my life miserable.  I do not want to be a target.  I believe Otis's intentions were pure and yet my money still came to ruin us.  It is too heavy a burden for me, truly.  $40,000 Sidney.  I know it is not enough to cover your expenses and debts but that is my investment offer."</p><p>He looked at her carefully.  He was still greatly conflicted on the matter but at her age he was already in Antigua, becoming his own man.  Who was he to say that she couldn't begin to make her own life decisions?  She clearly had strong feelings on this choice and had been thinking about them for a long time.  He reached out his hand to shake hers.  "Parker Brothers Development accepts your investment offer, perhaps not in the full amount but we can discuss that later."</p><p>Georgina happily shook his hand.  "Just know also that I do not plan to be a silent investor.  I have many ideas and many opinions.  Prepare yourself Mr Parker."</p><p>Sidney shook his head and chuckled.  “Perhaps let’s consider this a conditional acceptance then.” and then said softly, earnestly,  "Thank you Georgiana."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I actually got a good amount of writing done yesterday.  Hooray for letting kids go to town with Play doh!  So I'm kinda back on track which feels nice.  Hope you're all well and safe at home.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks so much for all of the lovely comments!  I'm enjoying writing this immensely and am thrilled to know you're enjoying it too!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Dear Mr and Mrs Heywood,</p><p>I hope this letter finds you and yours in excellent health and spirits.  </p><p>I write requesting the great benefit of Charlotte's presence in Sanditon.  We are at a critical juncture in the Sanditon endeavour and great decisions must be made now to prepare for the spring and summer season.  Charlotte was a most excellent assistant to me this past summer and I am afraid I cannot manage now without her.  </p><p>If it pleases Charlotte and you can bear to spare her for a fortnight I would be most indebted to all of you.  If you are in agreement I can send a chaperoned carriage for her on November 27th. </p><p>Humbly,<br/>
Thomas Parker"</p><p>Her mother reread the letter several times, as if trying to discern what exactly would be happening in Sanditon, who would be present.  She pursed her lips.  "You have just returned Charlotte!  We have barely seen you since last spring now!" </p><p>"It would only be a fortnight Mother.  Much shorter than my trip to London."</p><p>"Yes, but that does not mean you need to go."</p><p>"Well, yes, I don't need to go.  I would like to go but if you and father need me here…". She trailed off.  Was she really going to lose this chance?  She knew that she and Sidney would be fine now, that they could go without seeing each other but she certainly didn't want to.</p><p>Mr Heywood came in through the back door and into the kitchen.  "Hello my loves.  Is lunch prepared?". He noticed the letter in his wife's hands.  "Anything interesting?"</p><p>"Another chance for Charlotte to run off." Mrs Heywood hadn't meant to come off sounding so bitter.</p><p>"Run off?  Our intrepid traveler?  Where to now dear?" he asked Charlotte as his wife handed him the letter.  He read through it quickly.  “Ah, back to Sanditon.  To work?  Are you interested in this work Charlotte?”</p><p>“I did quite enjoy doing it.  I found it very exciting and rewarding to be part of a town’s development.”  Charlotte said trying to find a balance of sounding enthusiastic but not over eager.</p><p>“My dreamer.  Yes, that sounds like something you would enjoy.  Well what do you say Mother?  Shall we pack her off again?  I feel I barely know her.”  her father said with a bit of sadness but mostly pride.</p><p>“Well it will be very close to Christmas by the time she returns.  I rely on Charlotte quite a bit for all of the holiday preparations.”  her mother stated.</p><p>Mr Heywood glanced at the letter again.  “Well it looks as though she’d be back with at least a week to spare and the younger girls can certainly help out more this year with Allison’s guidance.  You decide Mother.  We know you know best.”  Mr Heywood smiled and kissed his wife's cheek.  He could tell his wife was reluctant but he wasn’t sure if she had a specific reason or was just feeling overwhelmed by her first child getting so close to leaving their home permanently. </p><p>Charlotte watched the whole exchange with bated breath.  Her mother obviously still had not shared Charlotte’s summer heartbreak with her father and her uncle had obviously not written as he promised.  She felt relieved but still anxious.  When would she see Sidney again if she could not get to Sanditon?  Would she have to wait until he was ready to ask for her father’s permission?  That could be months, a year, even more perhaps by the time he settled Sanditon’s debts and was financially stable enough to propose.  And what if he was jailed?  She quickly pushed that from her mind.  She couldn't even stand to think about it.  She supposed they could send letters but when could they properly start writing without her mother wondering about the timeline of his broken engagement and her trip to London?  She just wanted to be with Sidney but she was seeing, now that she was home, that this would certainly involve more family disapproval before everything was said and done.</p><p> </p><p>With the cold weather, and everyone in the house more often than not, Mrs Heywood was finding it difficult to find a quiet moment to speak to Charlotte privately.  “Charlotte, come help me gather eggs.”</p><p>“Oh Mother, I already did.”  Allison piped up not realizing she was being the opposite of helpful to her mother.  </p><p>“Well Charlotte and I will check again.” her mother said pointedly.  Allison looked perplexed but she could tell something was afoot.  She had heard murmurs of a letter from Sanditon.  Charlotte had told her bits and pieces about her Mr Parker after coming home from Sanditon and she had confessed since coming home from London that she felt there might be hope although she swore Allison to secrecy and told her that she couldn't tell her anything more.  No matter how much she might pester.  Allison felt it was most unfair to share only part of what must be a very interesting secret.  </p><p>“Where do you stand on your affections for Mr Sidney Parker now?  I’m sure you can tell that I am reluctant to send you back to the Parker family.  I do not want you reopening any healed wounds.” her mother asked, as they crossed the cold yard, coming straight to the matter.</p><p>“I think I could feel comfortable around him if I were to see him while staying with the Parkers.”  Charlotte said carefully, doing her best not to lie.</p><p>Her mother studied her.  Her face softened.  “Charlotte, I only want what is best for you. Pining for a married man will bring nothing but heartache”</p><p>“I know Mother, truly.  And I know you want what's best for me.  I feel time has helped me to move past the disappointment of the summer’s end.”</p><p>Her mother was pleased to hear it but not yet convinced.  “Your letters spoke of much time spent with Georgiana.  Did you see him as well in London?”</p><p>“Georgiana does not stay with him.  She boards with her governess.  So no, I did not see him then.  I saw him briefly in passing...but I felt at peace with our standing.”  It was a bit of a struggle but she felt pride at being able to tell the truth while skirting facts.</p><p>Her mother took a deep breath and released a long sigh.  She looked uncertain but resigned.  “I suppose Charlotte, I suppose.”</p><p> </p><p>Waiting for the 27th seemed like ages for Charlotte.  She had a running countdown going through almost every moment of each day.  Lunch is complete so now only afternoon chores, tea, an afternoon walk, dinner, evening with the family, bedtime, and then on to the next day.  She went to bed early every night anxious to just keep the days moving, anxious also for the peaceful darkness to quietly yearn for him. </p><p>Finally the day arrived and Charlotte was a mess of anticipation.   Sidney had said he would come for her but certainly he would send Tom and Mary instead so that they would have less trouble with her parents.  But maybe he would come.  She knew that would not be the easier option but she also was thrilled by the prospect of seeing Sidney in her home, having the opportunity to show him where she grew up.</p><p>By 9:00 in the morning three of Charlotte’s brothers were running to the house announcing that the Parker carriage was already pulling up over the bridge.  “Oh!  So early!  I had expected to serve them lunch!”  Mrs Heywood exclaimed, flustered.  </p><p>They all rushed out of the house and congregated on the drive watching as the carriage pulled to a stop.  The doors opened and….it was Sidney.  He was here.  Charlotte wavered in her spot, using all of her self control to keep from running into his arms.  He immediately sought her face in the crowd and gave her a small smile and nod as he walked directly to her father.  </p><p>The Heywood family stood confused.  This was not Mr Tom Parker.  They looked back at the carriage and saw two more people step out, one being another dark haired but heavy set man.  And the other being a dark skinned young woman who must be Georgiana.  This was all quite unexpected and surprising but to Charlotte it was the most exciting possible development.  She transferred her restrained energy in Georgiana’s direction, running into her arms instead.</p><p>Sidney held out his hand to Mr Heywood, “Mr Heywood, I presume?  Sidney Parker, Tom Parker’s brother.  This is my younger brother, Arthur Parker and my ward, Miss Georgiana Lambe.”</p><p>Mrs Heywood and Allison were floored.  They had assumed Sidney resembled Tom, had expected a younger version of him, similarly with limp, light hair and a jovial, easy face.  This man, for he certainly was no less, had dark hair and eyes, a chiseled face and carried himself with a confidence Tom could only wish to possess.  Allison immediately hoped she would be able to get a private moment with Charlotte before she left so she could demand to know why she had left out that her love interest resembled a Greek god.  Mrs Heywood, however, immediately regretted her approval of this trip.  He was a handsome Londoner through and through.  Her limited experience had prejudiced her exactly against this type of man.  She assumed he had more swagger than modesty, was more superficial than hardworking.  And why was it that he was here to pick her up at all?  Why was he going out of his way to spend time with her?</p><p>“Tom and Mary send their deepest regards and gratitude.  I am afraid he is so busy right now he could not pull himself away to travel.  We figured we would make the most of it by creating a jolly party to pick up Miss Heywood, did we not Arthur?” Sidney said, trying to strike a balance between formality and ease.</p><p>“Oh yes!  We are so thrilled she will be joining us.  Sanditon is hardly the same without her.”  Arthur gushed.  Mr and Mrs Heywood were simultaneously thinking that they had never known three brothers that were so different in looks and seemingly personality. </p><p>“How lovely for our Charlotte.  I’m sure it will make for a merry return for her.  This is my wife, Mrs Heywood.”  Mrs Heywood stepped forward.  Her face was not hardly as relaxed and welcoming as her husbands.  </p><p>“It is a pleasure to meet you Mrs Heywood.”  </p><p>Sidney shifted on his feet as Mrs Heywood looked at him appraisingly and said nothing in return.</p><p> </p><p>They all went into the house for a morning tea.  “You’ll have to forgive me, we were not quite prepared for your morning arrival.  Our maid will be in shortly with the tea.  Mr Heywood, I require your assistance.”  Mrs Heywood said with a tight smile.</p><p>Charlotte watched them leave the room nervously.  Her mother was clearly upset that Sidney had come to get her.  She was going to tell her father and then what?  She had not trusted herself to really look in Sidney’s direction but now that they were out of the room she glanced across the table and found that his eyes were firmly set on her.  When their eyes met they couldn't help but both breaking into wide, happy smiles.  Charlotte looked away blushing deeply and Sidney quickly cleared his throat and desperately tried to think of a reasonable topic of conversation but Charlotte's smile, her eyes had him thrown.</p><p>"What is Sanditon like this time of year?  Does it snow along the coast?". Allison asked.  She had been watching Charlotte and Sidney closely, trying to figure them out.  Whatever was happening, Charlotte was right, there seemed to be reason for hope.  But she felt she must take over the role of host with her parents out of the room and her sister completely indisposed.</p><p>The conversation rolled seamlessly from that awkward start and the Heywoods returned to a happy and easy room full of chattering young people.  Mr Heywood immediately looked around and Charlotte was mortified to feel his eyes shifting from her to Sidney and back again.  He watched them throughout tea and said very little.</p><p> </p><p>They were loading up Charlotte's trunk when Mr Heywood pulled Sidney aside.  "I need to know that Charlotte will be treated properly and kept in good, moral company."</p><p>Sidney looked at him seriously and nodded. It seemed Charlotte's mother was not the only one that knew something of their past now. "You met my brother and his lovely wife.  They are most upstanding people.  I know Charlotte feels very comfortable with their family and in their home.  I will not be staying with them but I can make sure that Mary watches after her closely ".  He felt it was important to make sure Mr Heywood knew they would not be under the same roof.</p><p>"Hmm." Mr Heywood was not sure how to proceed.  "My daughter is very beautiful and has a lot of spirit.  I heard from my wife that she may have had a suitor this summer.  I will not stand for anyone tarnishing her honor or bruising her heart.  She is... she is remarkable and deserves only the best."</p><p>"She is remarkable sir, you are right." Sidney said softly.  "You have my word that she will be treated with only the most respect...by everyone.". He looked Mr Heywood in the eye and held out his hand to shake it.  Mr Heywood felt this exchange may have left him with more questions than answers but he felt Sidney' sincerity and wasn't sure what else he could say anyway so he shook his hand and let the conversation fall.</p><p>Charlotte gave her family one last round of hugs and they all piled into the carriage.  As they trotted over the bridge leading off of the estate Sidney dropped his head back and exhaled loudly in relief.  He then looked over at Charlotte seated next to him and gave her a crooked smile, "Miss Heywood, I am so glad you are here to join our party."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's Monday.  Life is crazy.  Let's take a breather and have a nice little time.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are they both sleeping already?". Charlotte asked, looking at Arthur and Georgiana sitting across from them in the carriage.  They had only been on the road for about thirty minutes.</p><p>"Well we did leave early to come get you.  Perhaps I pushed them too much.  Perhaps I was a little overanxious to come get you."  Sidney admitted.  Charlotte smiled to herself at this.</p><p>They took this relative privacy to really make eye contact, to take each other in.  </p><p>"How are you Charlotte?" he asked softly, taking her hand.</p><p>Her joy was clearly written on her face.   "Oh Sidney, I am so happy I feel I could fly.  To be at your side again is almost more than I can bear." </p><p>He smiled a wide, toothy smile, a rarity from Sidney.  "I quite agree, my love, I quite agree."</p><p>As he raised her hand to his lips to kiss it they heard snickering.  They looked across the carriage to see Arthur, his eyes wide and mouth agape and Georgiana doing very little to hold back her laughter.  "Did I not tell you?!" She shrieked as she hit his knee with her gloves.</p><p>Charlotte glared at her, "Were you two just pretending to sleep all along?!"</p><p>Georgiana could not contain her mirth.  "I could not be the only person to figure out your sordid secret!  I needed to have a partner in crime or I would have burst!"</p><p>Charlotte tried to be angry but just ended up grinning madly.  "You are a most devious friend!"</p><p>"Wait!  But when did this happen?!  How long have you loved Miss Heywood?!". Arthur blurted exasperatedly.  </p><p>Charlotte and Sidney both blushed at the word “love”.  Sidney was surprised that he found such relief in being able to share his feelings for Charlotte with others.  He genuinely smiled at Arthur and then looked at Charlotte thoughtfully.  "How long have I loved her?  I suppose I first realized it the day of the cricket match." he said with a tenderness that surprised Georgiana and Arthur.  But Charlotte was surprised for other reasons.  </p><p>"But you were so angry with me that day!"</p><p>Sidney chuckled and shook his head.  "Very angry, furious, and yet I kept finding that even so I  wanted to be near you.  And then when you took the risk of joining the game to help save face on Tom's behalf?  I knew…". They gazed into each other's eyes.</p><p>"But you were since engaged to Mrs Campion!!" Arthur looked like he was about to have a fit, his eyes still wide, body agitated.  </p><p>Sidney pulled his eyes from Charlotte.  "A lot has gone on brother.  I will fill you in but now that you are in on our secret, you must realize you cannot share it with anyone, not even Tom or Diana". Arthur nodded eagerly feeling his meager relationship with his brother was about to grow.</p><p> </p><p>Their reunion with the rest of the Parker family at Trafalgar Square was a happy one but the light hearted mood from the carriage was stilted by Tom’s obvious anxiety and preoccupation.  </p><p> </p><p>“Charlotte!  Charlotte!  Very good.  Splendid that you are here. We will be moving forward as a team.  All together as a team.  It is excellent.  Is it not excellent?”  As Tom blustered on Charlotte realized he was really only talking to himself so she nodded and said a few words in the affirmative and then tried to bow out of his direct range.  She could tell that Diana and Mary were also on edge with the loss of Sanditon funding.  Surely they worried about Tom and of course their own livelihoods and futures.  But as they sat around the table for dinner everyone relaxed into each other’s company.  Sidney led the conversation for the most part.  Charlotte sat across from him and was struck by his wit and banter.  She had experienced bits of his social charms over the summer but never over such an extended time, there had always been some stress hanging over his head it seemed.  Georgiana also seemed to be blooming in the Parker’s company.  She had stayed at Trafalgar house for the last two weeks and it was obvious that she and Arthur had become quite good friends.  Charlotte wondered how Diana was taking that but for tonight, everyone seemed happy to be in each other’s company.</p><p>After dinner Sidney and Georgiana got ready to take their leave.  They would now be staying at Denham Place.  Babington had arranged for it through Lady Denham.  Charlotte knew it made sense, and appreciated that Sidney deliberately chose to give her proper space especially since their relationship was not yet common knowledge but she still couldn’t help but be disappointed to see him leave.</p><p>“Georgiana, I’ll walk you to the carriage” she said brightly as they were putting on their cloaks.</p><p>“Yes, I imagine you will.” Georgiana said smirking.</p><p>They walked out and Georgiana got straight into the carriage.  “Thank you for escorting me out Charlotte.” she called back, her eyes twinkling as she looked at Sidney and Charlotte standing on the steps.  They chuckled.</p><p>“Oh, I do wish you would be staying here tonight.  I hate to part already.”  Charlotte said softly.</p><p>He took her hands in his and leaned in.  “Charlotte, I do not think I could manage being under the same roof.  I would lay in bed awake all night willing myself to stay put.” Sidney whispered next to her ear.  Her eyes widened in shock.  His breath gave her goosebumps while his words made her flush warmly.  He lingered close to her, she could feel the heat between them in the cold night air.  “I will be here first thing in the morning.  I won’t be able to stay away.”</p><p>“Guardian!  I am your chaperone now!  Get in the carriage, I’m freezing!”  Georgiana called.</p><p>“Oh she is enjoying this too much.”  Sidney said a little gruffly. </p><p>“Not as much as we are.”  Charlotte smiled.  </p><p>He kissed her hands, “No, not nearly.  Until tomorrow.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I remember when I started this story and I was like, "Eh, I'll bang it out in 10 chapters just to get it out of my head."  But it's totally a sanity touchstone for me now so let's book a room at the Crown and get comfy.  Meet me for a toddy downstairs.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following day after breakfast Sidney, Tom, Arthur, Georgiana and Charlotte walked over to tour the current state of the Terrace.  This was mostly for Charlotte’s good, as the others had been immersed in the predicament for a couple weeks.</p><p>As they walked Mr Stringer came up to greet them.  “Good morning Parkers, Miss Lambe.”  And then his eyes fell on Charlotte.  They widened in happy surprise but then immediately darkened and flicked over to Sidney, taking him in.  “Miss Heywood, well met!  I did not know you were back in town again.  What a surprise.”  He spoke happily but Charlotte could hear the tension in his voice.  He understood too much of her history with Sidney to take this as an innocent visit.</p><p>"Mr Stringer!  It is so nice to see you again!  Your work on the Terrace is most impressive.  It almost looks complete." </p><p>"Well, as you will see the foundation and exterior are near complete but the interior remains the same." He looked tired and worn and she wondered how he could work on the site that his father had perished in.  She couldn't help but despair for him.</p><p>"Let's be on our way.  Mr Stringer please lead us through!  We need to get Miss Heywood up to speed and then discuss the third floor which I believe is secure and we can access now." Tom said, falling back into his role as leader.</p><p>They walked through the raw interiors of the Terrace.  Blackened walls were braced by rough wooden timbers, plaster crumbled and strewn all over the floors.  Sidney, Tom and Mr Stringer had all made detailed notes of what still needed to be done and now they went through confirming everything carefully.  Charlotte walked through the immense building feeling overwhelmed.  Without Mrs Campion's almost unlimited funds how could they ever afford to pay off the original debts and then still rebuild?  She looked at Sidney, talking seriously with the other men.  His brow was furrowed, his face tense.  She could see his concentration.  He had made a difficult choice to sacrifice their happiness for his family.  And now he had undid it, he chose their future over his family's.  She had always understood the situation but now, in the charred building the magnitude of it all was really hitting her.</p><p>After their tour was over and they were back on the street Mr Stringer approached her.  "How have you been Miss?" he asked kindly, but without the brightness that used to shine through his voice, as he casually steered her away from the group.  </p><p>She knew he would have questions, concerns and felt it best to just face it now.  "I have been quite well.  I was  in London visiting family this fall."</p><p>Stringer's face grew darker and his eyes scanned the rooflines on the street and then settled hesitatingly on her face.  "Miss Heywood, it is not my place surely, and I am pleased to see you, but I worry about why you might be here.  I know of the broken engagement.  I… I worry." his voice dropped as he finished, unsatisfied with his words but unable to more eloquently express himself.</p><p>She looked at the ground.  "I know that perhaps you might have perceived more of the situation than most.  I cannot speak on it now but please, do not worry on my behalf.  Really." she said gently.</p><p>"So shall I suppose you are spoken for then?" He asked.  Charlotte met his eyes but did not answer.  He nodded curtly and then said quietly.  "He did not know your worth before.  I hope to heaven he does now." </p><p>She desperately wanted to defend Sidney but she knew she couldn't before they were properly courting and deep down she knew Mr Stringer did not want to hear it anyway.  She responded softly, "I thought of you while I was in London, all of the grand architecture.  You belong there Mr Stringer, not here.  You shouldn't be working in that building.  I worry about you."</p><p>He shook his head and laughed almost angrily.  "If I cannot worry about you Miss, then you cannot worry about me." He turned to the rest of the group and called to them, "I will see you all tomorrow." and turning to Charlotte, "Good day Miss."  And then headed home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That afternoon Sidney was seated in the drawing room of Denham Place.  It was quite a strange house and he found that it had fallen into such disrepair that only several rooms were furnished or even inhabitable.  Georgiana complained of the draft throughout the house but he felt she was also happy to have so much more space and privacy than she was used to.</p><p>He was reviewing estimates for summer profits from his bookkeeper when Crockett came in only steps ahead of Lady Denham to announce her arrival.  Sidney started.  He was not prepared to see her.  He had been hoping to have a more established plan of action first.  She walked in, crinkling her nose at the room.  “Heavens, what will I ever do with this mess of a house?  But I suppose you are comfortable enough to be staying for free?”</p><p>“Yes, Lady Denham, thank you, it is most kind of you to allow us to stay here.”</p><p>She waved her hands as if to shake away the formalities and small talk.  “You have been avoiding me Mr Sidney.  You have been in and out of town for over a fortnight now without requesting an audience.”</p><p>“I apologize deeply.  I have had much business to attend to.”</p><p>“As I remember it, you work under my patronage.  Your business is my business.  So I must assume that lately you have been consumed with the business of trying to stay out of jail.” she said with a cruel smirk.  Sidney had no answer.  “How lucky you are that Lord Babington is such a faithful friend to you.  It is good to have someone that will soften the blow.  When he came to me with the news of your broken engagement, well you were lucky that it was him.  Him, who I hold in very high esteem, unlike you.” her voice dropped in disdain.  Sidney simply listened knowing she was not finished anyway.  “Is she really worth it?” she said with a mocking smile.  “I imagine you are starting to feel that you did not think this through properly.”</p><p>“Mrs Campion was unhappy and broke off the engagement.” Sidney said quietly, firmly.</p><p>“Yes, so I heard.  But I'm referring to someone else, someone who seemed to arrive yesterday, in your own carriage."  Lady Denham raised her eyebrows suggestively.  "That seems rather reckless I think."  Sidney kept eye contact but did not respond.  "And now I hear you're having some sort of meeting tomorrow.  I will attend.  This is my money you're talking about, my money that you have already lost."</p><p>"Forgive me Lady Denham but I cannot extend an invitation to you for tomorrow.  After the meeting we will make our presentation to you.  Tomorrow will be lengthy.  The finalized proposal will be a better situation for you." Sidney said, his face clearly showing his resolve.</p><p>"Do not tell me what will be best for me!  The better situation would have been not allowing your foolish brother to throw everything away with his poor management!  Or you maintaining the engagement that would have paid for his mistakes!  All of you Parker's!  A completely incompetent lot!" She cried indignantly.</p><p>"Lady Denham, I look forward to presenting to you in two day's time." Sidney's jaw was clenched and his body tense.  </p><p>She studied him closely.  “You think that you have me at bay because of Lord Babington but I will still press charges if you cannot fix this.  Do not expect that you will be safe.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney traveled back to Trafalgar Square for afternoon tea.  He was disturbed from his conversation with Lady Denham and felt sitting in Charlotte’s presence would restore his mood, his resolve.  Unfortunately Tom’s mind was also ill at ease after their morning tour through the Terrace.  </p><p>“I know we have spoken at length about the proposed plans of our new investor but I really feel they are missing out on what makes Sanditon a cut above everyone else.  We cannot be the best if we do not offer the absolute best.”  Tom began.</p><p>Charlotte felt the danger of this conversation and tried to divert it, “Is there a new investor?  That is great news, is it not?”  Who is it?”</p><p>“They have decided to reveal themselves at the meeting tomorrow.  They have a bit of a flair for the dramatic.” Sidney said, casting his eyes sideways.  He then set his teacup down and shifted his eyes firmly on his brother, “Tom, we cannot keep having this same conversation.  Your plans are no longer feasible.  They were barely feasible before the fire.  They are certainly not feasible since.”</p><p>“Sidney, they were feasible until very recently!  You pulled the rug out from under me!  Everything had been righted and now?!  Are you so incapable of settling down that you cannot even do it to save your family?”</p><p>“Tom!” Mary said sharply.  “Do not speak to Sidney like that.  You certainly have no right to make such demands on his life.  Or do you feel marriage is so insignificant to be taken so lightly?”  She glanced over at Charlotte feeling deeply shamed by her husband’s ignorant outburst.  She did not know exactly what was going on between Charlotte and Sidney but she felt it was no accident that he had recommended to Tom that they send for her and request her help.</p><p>Tom's face fell.  “Of course Mary is right.  Forgive me brother.  I feel I am at my wit’s end.  I am seeing my dream fall apart before me.  But no matter, I have no excuse for such an outburst.”</p><p>Sidney was unmoved and stood up stiffly.  “I find I am in need of fresh air.  Miss Heywood, would you care to accompany me?”</p><p>Charlotte looked nervously at Sidney and then at Mary.  “Go ahead dear but bring your muff.  It is quite cold.” Mary said reassuringly.</p><p> </p><p>She could feel his anger.  He fairly stalked down the street.  It was too cold and windy for the cliffs or the beach so they headed for the wooded path on the other side of town.  “You need to be gentler to him.” she said at last.</p><p>“I need?!  I do not need to be anything to him.  His expectations are exorbitant, simply because I am his blood.  He cannot make these claims on my life.” Sidney said hotly.</p><p>“It is plain to see that he is suffering though.  He certainly did not mean for things to go so very badly.”  she said insistently. </p><p>It was too much.  How could she side with him after all they had just been through, all they would still have to go through just to rightfully court?  “His incompetence almost tore us apart Charlotte!” Sidney cried incredulously.</p><p>“No, you did Sidney!”  She shot back.  “No one told you to engage yourself to….her!  That was a choice you made of your own will.”   </p><p>“A choice I made to save my family!” </p><p>“You do not need to be the savior!  You do not need to protect every person and fix every problem!  You certainly do not need to do it alone!  You...”</p><p>He was on her lips, her words lost.  She was surprised and quickly pulled back, her eyes still flashing with frustration.  But her lips rushed back to his.  They kissed in the cold secluded woods, savoring the freedom, the release.</p><p>Sidney eventually broke the kiss but kept her close, his forehead pressed to hers, his arms wrapped around her tightly.  “Are you angry with me for...for it?  Will you ever be able to forgive me?”</p><p>She sighed and thought it over.  “I don’t think I am angry at your motive.  It hurt me deeply that you threw me off so quickly without warning.”</p><p>He dropped his arms and pulled his head back defensively.  “But it was not so quickly!  If you knew how I struggled that week, desperate to find a solution.  It was agony Charlotte.  I finally went to her with an investment offer only but she was adamant about the terms.”</p><p>“But Sidney you did not need to go save Tom, not alone at least.  You get angry at him for expecting so much of you but you did not include him in your search for a solution.”</p><p>His hands found themselves on her hips, pulling her back towards him.  He thought of all of the times they fought over the past summer, the fire she ignited in him.  Her precious face screwed up in anger.  For whatever reason it had always made him want to sweep her into his arms and now he finally had that privilege.  Their relationship would clearly not be without arguments.  It was in both of their nature to be stubborn and principled.  But he would happily fight with her for a lifetime if it meant being always near to her.</p><p>“I did not include him because he is truly incompetent in these matters my love.”  </p><p>Charlotte couldn't help but chuckle.  “Well I am not.  I am not to be underestimated and you should henceforth be well advised to consult me on major decisions.”</p><p>“Duly noted.” Sidney said as he kissed her nose.</p><p>“Also, you cannot put a halt to our arguments simply by kissing me.  That will not do.”</p><p>“Won’t it?” he asked innocently as he gently kissed her eyebrow, her eyelid, her cheekbone, the corner of her lips.</p><p>“No” the clouds of their warm breath lingering between them.  “It will not.”  And her lips again found their way to his.  She did not want to lose this argument but in the end losing the opportunity to kiss him was far more dire.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Pull up a chair.  We have a meeting to attend.  Disclaimer, I know nothing of the business world so you know, grain of salt please.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They met around the dining room table in Trafalgar Square.  The three brothers, Georgiana, Charlotte, Mr Stringer, Lord and Lady Babington.  Charlotte had loved the chance to be so close to Sidney in Sanditon again.  After months of thinking they were lost to each other it was heaven to simply see him throughout the day.  But she had also been very eager for this, to hear the latest developments, to perhaps lend her own thoughts and ideas.  She had been tasked with taking notes and it made her realize how much she really did miss helping Tom and being involved in the day to day planning of Sanditon.  </p><p>"Well this is a ragtag group if I ever saw one." Esther scoffed as they all sat down.  Lord Babington laughed.  Charlotte immediately felt offended but then truly, it was.  This was not the group of people you would expect to be running the development of a resort town.  </p><p>"Ah Lady Babington, before you, you see a group of intrepid dreamers, ready to finally establish Sanditon's place in the sun!" Tom said theatrically.</p><p>Sidney, reclined in his chair rolled his eyes to the ceiling and then cleared his throat and sat forward.  "Yes, well thank you all for being present today.  As you all know the project has had a change in funding and we are once again finding ourselves, for lack of a better word, struggling for capital.  We believe in Sanditon and the greatness that the natural landscape and the town itself have to offer.  Therefore we are very pleased to introduce our latest investor, Miss Georgiana Lambe."  Charlotte gasped out loud her head whipping towards Georgiana.  She realized everyone else at the table were casually smiling and nodding in Georgiana's direction.  They all already knew.</p><p>Georgiana laughed, "Sorry Charlotte, I did not really have a chance to write to you before you arrived and then it seemed more fun to simply make it a surprise."</p><p>Charlotte was gobsmacked.  She had so many questions but they would have to wait obviously.</p><p>Georgiana straightened up in her chair.  "Thank you Sidney.  I will take it from here.  Now I have discussed many of my terms and ideas with the Parker brothers over the past week but we still have particulars to go over and will need input and suggestions from all of you.". She took a deep breath and smiled.  She couldn't hold back the pride and excitement she felt as she began outlining her ideas, her own future.  </p><p>"Mr Tom Parker often advertises that Sanditon is "better than Brighton" which is all well and good but truly it does not matter if it is better than Brighton or not.  People flock to Brighton because it is already an established society resort town.  We are not established and therefore it will always be a battle to pull the beau monde here.  We do not need to be better than Brighton, we need to be different than Brighton.  We need to offer an entirely different experience.  My suggestion is that we limit our spending substantially while focusing it on specific amenities that will draw a specific crowd."</p><p>Tom was fidgeting in his seat.  "When, when Miss Lambe means limiting spending we are not quite set on the…"</p><p>"Let her speak please brother." Arthur said simply.</p><p>Georgiana gave Arthur a grateful smile and continued.  "I believe our goal should be to pull in young eligible people.  If we succeed we will have a vibrancy that will draw young men looking for entertainment, families looking to marry off daughters as well as the general beau monde looking to join in the fun.  Now this does not need to incur great expenses.  We should focus on the diversion and the rest will follow in course.  My greatest suggested expense, and we shall need your assistance and feedback Mr Stringer, is a section of covered boardwalk with a large bandstand in the center."</p><p>Georgiana went on to express her vision of regular cricket matches, two or three a week, men's and women's.  Teams would be comprised of villagers that would be paid a small stipend to play each season.  Vacationers could also create their own teams but only if they were staying for a minimum of three weeks.  Refreshments and seating could be set up in the shade of the boardwalk for games but then cleared away for bands and dancing in the evening.  Georgiana stressed that while balls were lovely they were very costly.  It made sense to cut down on the number of balls in a season and simply offer consistent live music and dancing on the boardwalk.   She also had visions of bonfires along the beach every week well into the fall.</p><p>The table, which admittedly was composed of young people, were all enthused over the ideas.  Esther chimed in, "If you want to win favor with my aunt you should inquire about renting out her asses for picnic and painting excursions." </p><p>Charlotte wrote it down and then cleared her throat, "Perhaps we should also consider a small boathouse on the river?  I think renting rowboats could be quite popular and cost effective as well."  She was clearly thinking of her time in the rowboat with Sidney.  She allowed herself to glance down the table at him.  His head was tilted down but his eyes were looking up at her in a way that made her heart skip.  This man.  </p><p>"A capital idea Miss Heywood." he said and his deep voice, his focused look were enough to make her want to melt to the floor.  </p><p> </p><p>The conversations continued.  Charlotte was so impressed by the range and depth of Georgiana’s ideas.  She thought back to the fall when Georgiana had been so preoccupied.  This must have been what was on her mind.  She must have been planning and researching this for months.  Charlotte smiled to herself, Georgiana certainly did not do anything halfheartedly.  Her passion for action extended beyond her romantic entanglements and now into the world of development.</p><p>"Now as for the Terrace.  I feel it is an expense we simply cannot safely handle.  The vast majority of my investment will go towards covering the costs formerly funded by Mrs Campion.  I will also be backing the bank loans now in her place."</p><p>Sidney quickly interrupted, "And we must also thank Babington for temporarily covering the interest on some of our personal loans, most notably with Lady Denham.”  He nodded appreciatively in his friend’s direction.  “We believe she will not be withdrawing her funds if we can present a decent proposal and then have a successful season.  And well, if she does, we are sunk.”  Sidney stated simply, lifting his hands upwards as in defeat.  He cleared his throat.  “And thus, why we need brilliant and enthusiastic minds now.” he finished.  He looked back at Georgiana, “The floor is yours again Miss Lambe.  Forgive the interruption.”</p><p>“Certainly.  My proposal for the Terrace is that we complete the lobby, the hallways and three apartments.  One apartment shall be gifted to Lady Susan.  I have spoken with her and she has standing engagements in Brighton she must uphold but she has agreed to spend several weeks in Sanditon as well.  Her assets are not quite...liquid...but her standing in society is gold so we feel it is well worth the cost of housing her.  I will be finishing and furnishing an apartment for myself…”  Charlotte glanced over at Sidney and saw the barely concealed, but contained, disapproval on his face.  “And then we will finish and furnish a third apartment so that we have spare space for any surprise prestigious guests.  All the other apartments will only be touched once they are under contract.”</p><p>Arthur jumped in, “Diana and I would like to purchase an apartment as well.  We would be happy to rent it out for this first season and put the proceeds towards the debt if Tom doesn’t mind us staying here in Trafalgar Square.”  Tom absentmindedly nodded in agreement as everyone else nodded at Arthur in appreciation.</p><p>“Now, now I must, I must interject that I don’t agree with the Terrace plans.”  Tom said flusteredly, standing up.  “I feel we will be turning people away which is certainly not in our best interest.”</p><p>“Yes, Mr Parker, I understand.  And we have discussed this but we simply cannot take the financial risk of finishing the building in its entirety.”  Georgiana said calmly but sternly.  Charlotte was struck by the realization that Georgiana had been dealing with Tom for two weeks now and they officially had a developed working relationship.  She was amused to see that it was clearly influenced by Sidney’s own working relationship with Tom.</p><p>“But, but, please you can all see…”  Tom looked down the table for support, his eyes resting squarely on Lord Babington.</p><p>Babington looked away from Tom’s beseeching eyes and addressed the table at large, “I think finishing the apartments by contract only seems very reasonable.  There are cottages available for rent as well as rooms at the Crown.”</p><p>“But you can hardly call the Crown a hospitable location for the beau monde!”  argued Tom.</p><p>“Oh believe me, I know the Crown and its shortcomings all too well.”  Babington and Sidney laughed together.</p><p>“I think”  Esther started slowly “that creating a demand and making people desire something that is just out of their reach is a very powerful motivation.”  She looked at Charlotte.  “Do you not agree Miss Heywood?  What do you say Sidney?”  Each person at the table, with the exception of Tom, reacted, looking subtly from Charlotte to Sidney and back.  “At least that’s my thought.  Excellent, well done Miss Lambe.”  Esther finished, quite pleased with herself.  Babington looked down smiling and shaking his head at his wife’s mischief.</p><p> </p><p>As the meeting ended Sidney turned to Georgiana seated at his side.  He looked at her with clear pride.  “I must say Georgiana, you reminded me of your father today.  You had the poise of your mother but the clear mind for business that your father possessed.  You did quite well, quite well.”</p><p>Georgiana blushed, “Thank you Sidney. Thank you also for your guidance with all of this.”</p><p>“The ideas were yours and I think they are brilliant.” he stated matter of factly.</p><p>Charlotte wanted to go up and talk to both of them but hung back a bit.  Esther’s pointed comments towards the end had her feeling self conscious.  In the meantime Mr Stringer was near and she felt she needed to work to cover the discomfort of yesterday’s conversation.</p><p>“Are you excited to design the boardwalk Mr Stringer?”</p><p>“Yes, it should be an exciting challenge.”</p><p>“I’m sure it will be quite lovely with your talents behind it.”</p><p>“Thank you Miss Heywood.” he said and then bowed out of the conversation as he turned to pay his respects to Tom before leaving.  Charlotte felt dejected.  She admired James so much and hated to think of losing their friendship.</p><p>“Would you have interest in living in the Terrace Miss Heywood?” Sidney asked casually, suddenly at her elbow.  Turning, she looked up at him and saw that his easy manner disguised the seriousness of his question.  His hand, out of sight from the group, slowly ran down her arm.</p><p>“Oh!  Well I think they are quite lovely and a wonderful design nicely situated in town” she dropped her voice and turned a little to the wall so that only Sidney could see her mouth “...but I feel if I were to have a residence in Sanditon I would like a little land for a garden.”  She slowly raised his eyes to his again, nervous that maybe she had been too forward, made too large of a request.</p><p>Sidney smiled warmly at her and replied very softly, “Yes, yes, I think that is what I would prefer too if I were to have a residence in Sanditon.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you as always for the kind words and compliments!  It really is a lovely distraction and I appreciate all of you coming along for the ride.  As mentioned before I'm expanding this a touch more than originally planned so that we all have a little extra social distance approved fun.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte was not included in the presentation to Lady Denham the following day.  It did not bother her to be left out but she was so incredibly anxious to hear the outcome.  She sat with Mary and Diana for a good while, reading and having halting conversations.  All three women were apprehensive, each worrying about their own respective Parker brother, their own respective futures.  Additionally, it was clear Mary had some inkling of the renewed relationship between Charlotte and Sidney and it added to Charlotte’s unease.  It made her feel guilty not to share any news with her as Mary had been so perceptive and kind in the past.  Finally she gave up on being social, choosing solitude over expected companionship, and she excused herself to go for a walk.</p><p>She wandered contentedly along the clifftops.  The water below was dark gray and choppy. The grasses were brown and still holding some of their morning frost.  It was exhilarating to see the change of season in Sanditon and she allowed herself to think of Sidney's question yesterday about living here.  If they were to marry and live here she would become accustomed to Sanditon year round, well versed in the seasonal changes.  She beamed just thinking of it.  She could not believe how much her fortune had changed over the last month.</p><p> </p><p>When she arrived back at Trafalgar Square an hour later she was met at the door by a flushed and rosy cheeked Jenny.</p><p>"Charlotte!  We are playing hide and go seek.  Go hide!  I have twenty more seconds to count!"</p><p>Charlotte giggled and threw off her cloak.  "I must rush then!". She scampered into the drawing room and dropped quickly behind the sofa when she found herself landing right into Sidney's lap.  </p><p>"Ah! You have also found the only hiding spot of suitable adult size." He smiled at her immediately moving his hands to her waist, adjusting her comfortably on to him.  </p><p>"Oh! How was the--"</p><p>"Shhh…". He put this finger to her lips and whispered.  "We don't want to be found."</p><p>She bit her lip and smiled.  She loved how seriously he took play with his nieces and nephews.  She was also loving this feeling of being on top of him.  Sidney too was greatly enjoying the feeling, the weight of her body pressed on his, her lovely breasts against his chest.  Good God, what he wouldn't do to see them unclothed, to touch them.  The effect they had on him.  It was downright embarrassing how many times her breasts had crossed his mind since he first met her.  He looked at her, gauging her reaction as he let his hand slowly travel up her side and gently cup the side of one.  Getting her approval he then leaned in to gently, sensually kiss her.  </p><p>Charlotte was struck by the beauty of this kiss.  It seemed every kiss they shared was urgent, desperate.  This was different.  She kissed him back savoring the feeling of their soft lips discovering each other slowly, sweetly.  His hand was resting on the side of her breast and his thumb tentatively reached out and started circling towards the fullness of her, tantalizingly close to her nipple.  She had never felt such a sensation before, didn't realize her breasts were sources of such pleasure.  Her breath hitched as she leaned into his touch, silently begging for him to go further.</p><p>"Found you!!!  Alicia!  Henry!  I found them!". called Jenny.  Charlotte quickly rolled off of Sidney as the sound of scampering feet came rushing.  "Uncle Sidney… Were you kissing Charlotte?  Come quick, Uncle Sidney's--."</p><p>“Who wants to see Uncle Sidney juggle?!?” he called out boisterously, cutting Jenny off.  The children jumped up and down, squealing.  Charlotte laughed admiring his quick thinking.  Sidney stood up and then realized his lower half was in no state to be seen by his nieces and nephew.  He tilted his hips to face the sofa in front of him.  “Go!  Fetch me something to juggle!  Run up to the playroom and find as many balls as you can!”  They bolted for the stairs.  Sidney noticed Charlotte was still seated on the ground and turned to help her up.  He found her, her full lips slightly parted, staring directly at his erection.  It was a sight that made his heart slam to a halt but being mindful that the children were due to be back shortly, he forced himself to keep his wits, his restraint.</p><p>"Charlotte, you wanton creature!"  He whispered with false condemnation.</p><p>She blushed furiously, quite abashed.  "I ..I.." she stammered but had no excuse and could still barely shift her eyes away from it.</p><p>“Well that type of behavior is hardly going to ease my predicament.” he chided laughingly, pulling her to her feet.  He let his hands linger on her wrists, his thumbs tracing circles on her bare skin just as they had been doing moments before on her breast.  “Really I should write to Aunt Beatrice immediately.” he said, still joking but his voice lower, slower, deeper.</p><p>The mention of her aunt helped clear Charlotte's fog.  She pulled away, grabbed a needlepoint pillow off of the closest chair and threw it at him in mock indignation.  Sidney caught it.  “Finally some sort of assistance.” he said, holding the pillow in front of himself.  </p><p>“Wicked, wicked man.” Charlotte laughed as she headed to check on the children.</p><p> </p><p>"Damnit Charlotte!" </p><p>"Good gracious Stephen, whatever is the matter?!" asked Beatrice, startled, looking up from her book.</p><p>Stephen groaned.  "A letter from John.  Charlotte is in Sanditon with Mr Sidney Parker."</p><p>Beatrice gasped, "Oh goodness have they…?"</p><p>"No, no, nothing so scandalous.  It seems Tom Parker requested her assistance there but then Sidney was the one to come pick her up in Willingden.  John and Tilda find the whole situation terribly unseemly and I don't believe they know that his engagement was called off.  They said Charlotte told Tilda she had come across Sidney in London and they want to know what we know of their meeting.  Damnit.  Why couldn't she simply behave?"</p><p>"Oh my.  Well we have to tell them the truth, our own concerns right?</p><p>"Yes but what even is the truth at this point?  We know she had feelings for him that he may have reciprocated over the summer.  We know he engaged himself to another woman for her fortune and left Charlotte devastated.  He then saw Charlotte when she first arrived in London and broke his engagement before she left."</p><p>"And invited Charlotte to his home the very day he broke his engagement, where he then met with her in private." added Beatrice pointedly.</p><p>"Yes, hardly decorous.  She then told me she would not be seeing him but in fact two weeks later he came to get her at her parents' home."</p><p>Beatrice jumped in again, "Also the papers have been saying that the engagement was broken because he's a drunk, a gambler and a fighter."</p><p>"Yes, yes, well we mustn't let that color our thoughts too much as we know the paper tends to sensationalize society stories.  Although it hardly helps.". Stephen sighed.  "As a lawyer, if I were arguing the other side my only points would be that she clearly loves him and that he in turn, seems to love her and seems to be, generally, a good man."</p><p>"You only say that because he has the same taste in books as you.  Being well read alone hardly makes one a good man."</p><p>"Yes, well argued love.  So mutual affection is the only point on their side.  It is certainly no small thing when it comes to a marriage.". He looked at his wife fondly and gave her a small smile. </p><p>She smiled back.  "No, surely, love is a perfectly good reason to marry." her face straightened again, "But for a couple that has no set wedding plans, as far as we know, they seem to be acting dangerously and out of character for our Charlotte.  I don't think we know enough of Mr Parker to feel comfortable with this."</p><p>Stephen groaned.  " Well I will have to at least tell them that he is no longer engaged and that we dined with him just before Charlotte left.  Oh they will not like that we kept this from them."</p><p>"No." said Beatrice frowning.  "They certainly won't.  Well in that case I must also write to Charlotte as she told me of the broken engagement in strict confidence.  I should warn her that I've shared the information."</p><p>"What a mess" Stephen said, shaking his head.  "Thank God we don't have daughters "</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Parker family hosted Georgiana and Lord and Lady Babington for dinner after the meeting with Lady Denham.  All things considered, the presentation had gone relatively well.  Lady Denham was very skeptical about dedicating the town to the frivolity of young people.  She worried about drinking and carousing and all the dangers that come along with too many youths potentially having too much fun. But Lord Babington had mentioned ahead of the presentation that he was in strong support of the plan.  And she couldn't help but be intrigued by the thought of Lady Susan taking up seasonal residence in Sanditon.  </p><p>However she kept the axe hanging over the Parker brothers' heads just where she felt it rightfully belonged.  She still held all three brothers in great contempt and wondered how she ever was foolish enough to get caught up in Tom's outrageous enthusiasm.  By June she said she wanted a wing of the Terrace fully occupied and would reevaluate her funding at that point.  </p><p>Yet that was enough cause for celebration for now and the dinner was casual and boisterous, everyone feeling relieved that the first step had been successfully taken.  They weren't sunk yet.  Sidney was cautiously pleased but exhausted.  The last three weeks had seen him end an engagement, reunite with Charlotte and toil endlessly over plans to save his family.  What he wouldn't give to just sit quietly with Charlotte rather than play host in his brother’s house.  But the Babington's and Georgiana certainly deserved the honor of being celebrated.  Without them the Sanditon dream would most likely be lost and he and Tom would both be in jail.  And Tom, well Tom was still not really in a place to preside over these events.  He was slowly coming back to himself but he would still vacillate between fits of melancholy and mania.  So hosting fell to Sidney and he took it on.</p><p>Throughout it all he was just so thankful to have Charlotte there in the room with him.  Her sweet smile from across the table kept him going.  Their playful interlude earlier in the afternoon had been wonderful and left him breathless with the desire to just be hers already but he was also starting to feel guilt.  He had exposed his hardened state to her, he could argue that it was accidental but he had certainly enjoyed her reaction.  He was treating her like their future together was ensured but truly it wasn’t.  They really couldn’t afford a chance of scandal.  He would have to be more cautious, more respectful.  </p><p>“I was thinking it would be quite jolly for Charlotte and I to come visit Denham Place tomorrow.  What say you brother?”  Arthur asked Sidney at the table.  Arthur looked over at Charlotte giving her a glaringly obvious smile.</p><p>“Yes, yes, that would be quite fine.  Georgiana and I would like that very much.”</p><p>“Oh but Arthur” Diana’s high pitched voice rang out.  “We have our appointments with Dr Fuchs in the morning.”</p><p>“Ah, so we do.  Could we impose on you for lunch then Sidney?  I think that would fit our schedule just fine sister.” Arthur said airily.  Charlotte could see Diana deflate.  She had probably been hoping to keep Arthur with her for the day.  The cold weather kept her inside almost fully and she was obviously lonely with Arthur now putting more energy and time into the Sanditon venture.  Charlotte felt for her but also felt a thrill at the thought of being with Sidney at Denham Place.     </p><p> </p><p>Arthur and Charlotte arrived at Denham Place for a casual luncheon.  Sidney and Georgiana didn’t have a cook on hand so they had simply sent Crockett out for cold meats and bread and it was delightfully easy and relaxed for everyone.  Charlotte and Sidney truly relished being in the company of people who shared their secret.  They sat next to one another and found moments to touch each other’s arms, to simply look at each other unguarded.  </p><p>After lunch they adjourned to the strange upstairs drawing room.  “Arthur, would you like to see…”Georgiana trailed off trying to think of something of worth to show him, an excuse to give Charlotte and Sidney privacy.  “Oh, I do not know.  I’m sure we will come across something.”  </p><p>Arthur laughed happily and wiggled his eyebrows at his brother as they left the room.</p><p>Once they were gone Charlotte smiled slyly at Sidney and moved to sit closely to him on the sofa.  "It is quite nice to be alone."</p><p>Sidney hesitated reluctantly, “Charlotte I need to say something that is weighing on me.  I must apologize.  I feel I have let my ardor allow me to be too forward with you--”</p><p>“Oh!” Charlotte quickly interrupted but then didn’t really know what to say.  Could she really tell Sidney how much she enjoyed the intimacy that was growing between them?  Could she tell him how much she enjoyed learning his body, that she desperately wanted to know more especially after seeing his arousal yesterday?</p><p>Sidney took her two hands in his.  “You understand that I love you and” he dropped his voice and looked her squarely in the eyes, “I desire you immensely.” Charlotte’s breathing shallowed and her face grew warm.  “But your uncle may have my head mounted on his library wall if I lead you astray” he said grinning, trying to lighten the mood, trying to restrain himself from leaning forward and sucking on her full, bottom lip.  He shook his head slightly, trying to shake these invasive, unseemly thoughts.  “Your father also was very clear that you were to be treated in only the most proper manner.  I can’t say I have upheld their expectations.”</p><p>“You are not courting them!  You are courting me.”  She hesitated and dropped her voice. “I enjoy...your ardor.”  She looked shyly at him.  She could see his chest rising and falling, his jaw tightening.  She let her fingers slowly caress his hands, drifting up under his shirt sleeves and gently skating on the sensitive skin on his inner wrists.  He closed his eyes, focusing on her touch.  How could something so simple have such power to undo him, his resolve?  She let her fingers softly wrap around and slide down the length of each of his fingers, as if measuring them, memorizing them through feeling alone.  His cock stiffened and his mind wandered.  How easy it would be to swing her on his lap, push her skirts up and feel her ride down the length of him.  He almost shuddered in ecstacy at the thought alone.  </p><p>He groaned.  “Charlotte, I cannot” referencing more his own carnal thoughts than their actual conversation.  He came back to himself.  “Your family is important to you.  I want to have a relationship that pleases them, that does not give anyone reason for discomfort or distrust.  And our future simply isn't secure enough yet.  I need to make sure I can take care of you before we take our intimacy too far.”</p><p>“Damn your honor.” she muttered, putting his hands down his lap.  </p><p>He kissed her temple and pulled her to lean against his side, laying her head on his shoulder, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.  “Ah damn my honor indeed.  We shall make it up to each other and thoroughly dishonor ourselves in time.” He chuckled to himself.  “For now, tell me about Willingden.  Your home was lovely.  What are the grounds like?”</p><p>Charlotte smiled despite herself and exhaled a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding as she regaled him with stories of life in Willingden.    </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Georgiana and Charlotte decided to spend the rest of the afternoon shopping.  They strolled through town, Charlotte picking up some things to bring back as Christmas gifts for her family.  It was the first time they had really been alone since London and they suddenly had so very much to catch up on.</p><p>"So… It seems you will be my step guardian or some such nonsense." Georgiana started a bit awkwardly.  She laughed it off but Charlotte could tell she was a bit concerned about this affecting their friendship.</p><p>"Well at the moment we have no plans and cannot really make any until things are more settled.  Or so Sidney keeps insisting.” she huffed rolling her eyes.</p><p>“Do not tell me there’s trouble with our young lovers already?  You cannot make me say I told you so after I have already invested my fortune!” Georgiana said in jest.</p><p>“Oh, no.  I should not have said anything.”  Charlotte paused, knitting her eyebrows together.  Georgiana knew that look, there was more to come.  “It’s just...he’s so determined to have everything set right before he proposes.  I understand but with things being so uncertain I would rather be with him than waiting for him.”</p><p>Georgiana looked thoughtful.  “I can see both sides.”</p><p>Charlotte’s head jerked.  “Well that’s a first.  I thought you’d always choose my side over your wretched guardian.” she said smiling.</p><p>Georgiana rolled her eyes smiling and then thought for a moment and spoke seriously.  “Perhaps the most important thing to know about Sidney, that I have learned over the years, is that he lives by duty, responsibility.  He acts as if he’s a renegade that doesn’t care for societal norms but really he needs structure to anchor himself, to give him direction.  And he holds himself strictly to it until it all becomes too much to take and then he lashes out, drinking, fighting, disappearing for days, even weeks on end.  Then he comes back full of self loathing for not being good and strong enough and he falls back into line, holding himself to even higher expectations." She looked at Charlotte pointedly and continued.  "Previously I had thought toying with the heart of his brother’s pretty and naive houseguest was just another aspect of his self sabatoge.  Although I see now, that instead of lashing out, pursuing you is one of the rare acts that he has made against his sense of duty, that he has made clearly for his own best interest.”</p><p>Charlotte mulled this over for a while.  It certainly sounded familiar.  She wondered about what it meant for them, their future as a couple.  “Georgiana, when did you become so wise?  Where did my willful, rebellious friend go?”</p><p>“Ah, well I am now the patroness of a seaside resort.  I am a great lady now.  Apparently wisdom accompanies the role." she smirked. </p><p>Charlotte laughed and then looked at Georgiana fondly.  "Georgiana, I really am so proud of you.  And I am so pleased the men were able to sell Lady Denham on your plan yesterday."</p><p>"Yes, I'm certainly glad it went through.  Heavens knows though that if she heard even part of it were my ideas she would have turned it down immediately." Georgiana scoffed.</p><p>"Do you think she really still holds you in contempt after the luncheon?"</p><p>"Oh no, I haven't even told you!  I met with her in September and ended up calling her selfish, proud and prejudiced!" Georgiana laughed.</p><p>"You did not!". Charlotte gasped, shocked but laughing.</p><p>"I especially love that you are bringing aspects of Antigua to Sanditon.  The public conservatory with tropic plants?  It is brilliant and such a lovely tribute to your home."</p><p>Georgiana smiled, "Yes, I must admit I am quite excited about that.  But that is an extravagance so we shall see if it will come to fruition.  Certainly not for another five years or more."</p><p>They walked down the street quietly for a block.  Charlotte cautiously circled back to Georgiana’s step guardian comment.  She knew that Georgiana must be feeling insecure about her place as Sidney and Charlotte grew closer.  She knew Georgiana had been through so many traumatic changes over the last few years and to her, their relationship was just another shift in her life that she would have to deal with. "You are still my dearest friend and if anything I imagine we will see more of each other as things...change.”</p><p>"Perhaps.  Time will tell."  Georgiana shrugged it off, closing herself off.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sunday passed quietly.  Charlotte attended church with the Parker's and was quietly amused to see that Sidney attended as well, even though he had been almost adamant in his disinterest in services over the summer.  Afterwards he and Georgiana returned to Trafalgar Square with them and it was a delightfully relaxed day for everyone.  Mary had declared that there was to be no Sanditon talk all day and it seemed everyone was more than happy to abide by her rule.  </p><p> </p><p>But by Monday morning Charlotte, Sidney and Tom were back to poring over more paperwork, more numbers, more calculations.  Sidney's bookkeeper was excellent but it was still complicated and multi layered work with all of the different loans and the hypothetical incomes relying on estimations of summer capacity. </p><p>By late morning Tom was struggling to concentrate.  "I find I am in need of the sea air to reinvigorate my senses.  If you would excuse me please."</p><p>"Certainly." Sidney said.</p><p>He and Charlotte were sitting side by side at the desk.  “He seems to be coming around to the new Sanditon vision.” Charlotte said.</p><p>“Yes, I think Mary has probably been working diligently, trying to talk sense into him.  A fallen dreamer.”  Sidney gazed out the window.  Charlotte could see a look of regret pass over his face.  She knew he probably blamed himself for not watching Sanditon’s progress more carefully, for not being more proactive.  She thought of what Georgiana had said the other day, the weight of the duty and responsibility that he carried on his shoulders.</p><p>“We shall help raise him back up in time.” she said gently, putting her hand on his arm.</p><p>“Yes, yes” he smiled tightly at her, appreciative but not convinced.</p><p>“I, I think the numbers look very promising for the summer.”  Charlotte said, again trying to lift his spirits a bit.</p><p>He sighed.  “Yes, let us speak frankly of that while we are alone.  The difficulty for you and I specifically is one of timing.  We still have major debts on top of new expenses.  If we can't start bringing in money immediately then I will have to start selling off my business holdings in Antigua to free up capital.  That however, would mean a loss of regular funding for Sanditon and it would leave me without any source of personal income. To be very frank Charlotte, I will be the absolute last person to see any return on the Sanditon investment.  Profits will go to all of our lenders and investors and Tom and his family long before me.  Even if Sanditon succeeds, I may never see a return in my lifetime."  He sighed.  "I understood that taking this on.  I am involved for my family's benefit, not my own.  However, if I am forced to sell off my businesses I will have absolutely nothing to recommend me as a marriage prospect."</p><p>"You know I do not care." Charlotte's voice was thick with emotion.  She felt crushed by Sidney’s synopsis.  She better understood his reluctance to make any solid promises to her.  And yet she refused to let the heaviness overtake her, to risk the happiness she knew they could have.</p><p>Sidney gave her a small smile.  "Yes, I know my darling but why would your father give us his blessing?  I do not think I could even bring myself to ask for your hand if all I had was a mountain of debt and no income."</p><p>"Well then I would work as a washerwoman or raise chickens or both or --" Sidney chuckled but she looked at him seriously.  "I will not tolerate the idea that maybe we will not be able to marry.  My father does not control me.  I do not care if we live in poverty.  I do not care if I have to visit my husband in jail if it comes to it.  So let us get that straight once and for all.  I want to be your wife.  Regardless."</p><p>He looked at her, a look of bewildered awe on his face, his eyes shining with tenderness.  He lifted her chin and kissed her gently.  "Well then" he cleared his throat expelling the heavy emotion betrayed in his voice, "we must focus on the task at hand and find a solution."  He laid his hand on hers and kept it there as they sat side by side reviewing the documents before them.</p><p> </p><p>Tom came back feeling refreshed and optimistic.  He was truly grateful to have Charlotte back.  Her presence created a sense of calm and practical perseverance.  Her enthusiasm made him feel as if he was not a failure, that Sanditon was still a great vision waiting for its realization.  She also seemed to soften Sidney's temper which allowed the brothers to get along better than they certainly would otherwise.  </p><p>He came back to the office, a new spring in his step, ready to pitch new thoughts that had occurred to him on his walk.  He stopped short though in the doorway.  Sidney and Charlotte sat at the desk, their foreheads almost touching, the hands between them intertwined, talking quietly, working earnestly together.  He silently stepped backwards into the hall again.  How long…?  He felt dumbfounded, foolish that this had taken him by such surprise.  They had been together in his presence so much over the last few days and somehow he had not noticed anything.  His heart swelled for his dear brother though.  He immediately realized how perfectly fitting he and Charlotte were for each other.  He could not have found a more wonderful partner.</p><p>He cleared his throat loudly in the hall, gave it a moment and then reentered the room.  As he expected their chairs were noticeably further apart now.  “Ah, such a brisk, sunny day.  A beautiful blue sky over the water.  I highly recommend getting out for a walk, both of you.”  He looked directly at Sidney as his lips curled up into a wide close mouthed smile, the cat that swallowed the canary.  Sidney shook his head and smiled into his lap.  Tom finally knew.</p><p>“Miss Heywood, I picked up the post while I was out.  You have a letter from your Aunt Beatrice, such a lovely woman.  Please send her my best.” said Tom handing her the letter.</p><p>Charlotte took it slowly, concern creeping into her face.  The letter had been addressed directly to Traflagar House, not forwarded from Willingden.  She could only know that Charlotte was here if she had been in touch with…  Her breathing became ragged and her fingers shook as she opened the letter.</p><p>“Are you well?” Sidney asked quietly.  </p><p>“I am not sure.”  Her voice was as shaky as her hands.  She swallowed hard as her eyes skimmed quickly over the letter.  “They know.  My parents know.” she said under her breath.</p><p>Sidney’s eyes widened slightly as he searched her face.  “Tom, could you please give us a moment?” he asked quickly.  He placed his hand on her knee and leaned in asking quietly,  “What do they know?</p><p>“They know that you broke off your engagement while I was in London and invited us for dinner immediately afterwards.”</p><p>“Do they know that I took you upstairs?” he asked, his voice almost impossibly low.</p><p>“She does not say.  They wrote to her because they did not feel comfortable that it was you that came to get me in Willingden.”  </p><p>“Dammit!” he breathed pounding his fist on his lap.</p><p>“They wanted to know if aunt and uncle knew of anything that transpired while I was with them.”  Her voice broke.  “She said she prays our forgiveness and means us no harm but also could not in good faith lie.”  Tears started spilling from Charlotte’s eyes as she bowed her head.</p><p>He leaned forward again planting his forearms on her thighs, peering up into her face.  "Perhaps it won't come to anything Charlotte, simply some discomfort." he said softly, helpless in the face of her tears.</p><p>"How could it not?  My mother has not trusted you since the moment I first told her." she said crying.  Sidney hung his head.  He could not propose yet, or at least not without enraging Eliza.  That would put Sanditon at risk yet again as her bankers had been surprisingly lenient about the repayment time frame.  But he could go to London and beg her forgiveness again or perhaps if he and Charlotte had a very quiet, long engagement she would not even know.  </p><p>"Let me write your parents.  Please, let me set things right." She nodded, head still bowed, tears still flowing.  He pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her protectively.  "It will all be fine.  It will all be fine." he whispered soothingly, willing his words to be true.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Readers, I totally forgot that I was toying with the idea of an April fool's chapter where Sidney proposes only to find out that Charlotte has decided to take up with Fred Robinson.  Shoot.  🤣</p><p>Also feel free to summon up any favorite teenage make out memories you have.  The quarantine made me do it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As it turned out, it didn't matter whatever Sidney wrote to Willingden because the following day, as Charlotte had feared, she received a letter from her parents.  Sidney had arrived at breakfast, determined to spend the whole day at her side.  She had struggled through the rest of Monday, putting on a brave face in front of everyone but he wanted to be there for all of her waking hours, for anything she needed.  </p><p>When the post came that morning they adjourned to the hall where they could read the letter away from Tom, Arthur and Georgiana in the office and Mary and Diana in the drawing room.  Charlotte's hands were steadier than the day before, she had more time to prepare herself for what may lie ahead.  She read the letter and then nodded her head in resignation, handing it over to Sidney.  It was very brief, simply saying that circumstances require she return home and Mr Heywood would be arriving on Wednesday.  </p><p>"Tomorrow." Sidney exhaled.</p><p>Charlotte's chin trembled.  He took her in his arms and held her, kissed the top of her head.  Charlotte sighed.  "I think I would like to go lay down."</p><p>"Yes, of course" he murmured, wishing he could follow her, could continue to comfort her.  "Can I send up tea or have a bath run for you?"</p><p>"No, thank you" she choked out as she slipped from his grasp and headed up the stairs. </p><p>Sidney stood lost in the hall, the letter still limply hanging from his hand.  He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.  "Tom, Mary, may I speak to you?" he called out.</p><p>They had both noticed a clear change in Charlotte since yesterday's letter and came quickly, correctly assuming that Sidney's request was related to her.  "A letter has arrived from Miss Heywood's--" he shook his head.  There was no reason to hide anymore, not from his family anyway.  He began again, his voice slightly lower, more personal, "A letter has arrived from Charlotte's parents.  Her father will be coming tomorrow to get her.  If I am not already here when he arrives you must fetch me immediately."</p><p>Mary looked at him surprised and disappointed, "But what has caused this abrupt change in plans?"  She understood by his fallen face that it had to be connected to their relationship.</p><p>Sidney looked away, "They did not know anything of our situation before and now they do."  He stated.  "They find it unsatisfactory.  I'll be on the third floor.  Please let me know when Charlotte comes from her room again."</p><p>Tom wrapped his arm around Mary’s shoulders as they sadly watched him head up the stairs.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte came down for lunch.  She felt it foolish to waste her last day in Sanditon crying about having to leave.  She sat matter of factly in the office afterwards and said since she would have to leave early she should help as much as possible beforehand.  The difference now was that she, like Sidney, no longer saw the point in forcing the secrecy of their relationship.  She chose a seat next to him and immediately put her hand in his.  </p><p>Babington had arrived by then for a previously scheduled meeting and was struck by her forwardness, her strength.  He watched her, smiling in spite of himself.  This was exactly who Sidney needed and he was so incredibly pleased that his friend had not given up, that he had not resigned himself to life with Mrs Campion.  His heart ached for them that yet again, they had another obstruction to overcome but knew firmly that it could not upend them.  It was clear that together, they could weather anything life dropped in their path.</p><p> </p><p>As the afternoon was coming to a close Charlotte leaned towards Sidney.  "I'd like to take a walk on the beach, maybe watch the sunset.  Could we please?"</p><p>"Yes, of course.  It would be my pleasure."  He addressed the room.  "Please excuse us, Charlotte and I are going for a stroll." The desperate nature of their situation gave them a sense of bravery or perhaps just a total disregard for any proper courtship expectations and no one in the room was about to challenge them over it.  </p><p>They walked along the beach, side by side, talking very little.  It seemed there wasn't much to say.  Neither knew what tomorrow would bring with Mr Heywood or when they would be together again.  As the sun slipped under the horizon they turned back and Charlotte sighed heavily.  </p><p>"Charlotte, forgive me.  I should have done things differently.  I should --"</p><p>She grabbed his hand and stopped him.  "No, the last few days have been wonderful Sidney.  I would not trade them for the world."</p><p>They embraced and he spoke at her ear, "They have indeed been wonderful.  Imagine Charlotte, when we are married we will always be together.  No more partings."</p><p>"Can we not just get in your carriage and leave for Scotland now?  Let us just be done with it all."</p><p>He didn't answer.  He couldn't.  There was nothing he wanted more in life than to elope right now.  To share a bed with her along the road somewhere tonight, to start their life together this instant.  He kissed her passionately, longingly.  </p><p>Charlotte was the one to break the kiss, breathing heavily.  She pulled back and looked around.  "Come with me." She grabbed his hand and scampered across the sand to the row of bathing machines anchored in a lonely line at the top of the dunes, waiting for summer's return.  She opened the door to the last one in the line, the one on the further end from town.  </p><p>"Charlotte. We can't.  Someone will see."</p><p>She looked up and down the beach impatiently and then scanned the promenade above.  "There's no one. Come." she said simply tugging his hand.  Inside she threw off her cloak and unbuttoned his coat, pushing it off of his shoulders.  She launched into his arms again, kissing him hard.  "I want to feel you again against me, as I did in your office in Bedford Place.  Please." she said, urgently pressing her hips against him, trying to find that perfect spot again.</p><p>Good God, she was truly going to be the death of him.  "Oh Charlotte.  We--"</p><p>"You wanted to preserve our reputation for my family but they are already disappointed in us.  We don't know when we'll be together again Sidney.  Please." She kept shifting her body, rubbing against him, unsure of how she arrived at that sensation before.  She reached down and felt him through his pants.  She was surprised by how large and how very hard he was.  Her breathing quickened as she closed her fingers on his member trailing them up and down, exploring his shape for the first time.</p><p>Sidney gasped at her touch and then emitted something between a laugh and a moan.  He shuddered in pleasure and dropped his head back.  "No, this is hardly…" he cleared his throat and trailed off, unable to finish his thought.  He was completely unmoored for an instant but then came to and stepped backward.  </p><p>She stepped forward following him, wrapping her arms around his lower back, bringing their hips together again.  "I will be 23 in May." she said, clearly frustrated, annoyed.  "I am not a young, blushing girl and I don't appreciate you treating me that way.  I want to feel your body against mine."</p><p>Sidney blinked slowly and looked at her carefully, his chest heaving.  He had not bargained on having to restrain himself against such outrageous temptation.  He asked gently, "Do you have any experience with men?"  He posed the question mainly to see how much she already knew but realized if she answered in the affirmative he would be surprised but wouldn’t think any less of her.</p><p>"Yes.  Well.  Timothy Weathersby.  He lived on a neighboring estate.  We would meet in the woods and kiss during the summer when we were 17." She said almost defiantly.  And then added, "He touched my breast.  Albeit clumsily"</p><p>Sidney looked down between them, at her cleavage pressed against his chest.  "Lucky fellow." he muttered letting his eyes linger.</p><p>"Sidney.  Please." She begged, starting to rub her body on him again.  His brief daydream from when she visited him at Denham Place a few days ago crossed his mind.  He lowered himself to sit on the bench behind him.  Charlotte immediately felt hurt by his retreating again but then he pulled her towards him and guided her knees apart so she was straddling his lap.  "Sit." He commanded breathlessly.  His heart was racing almost impossibly fast.  She sat and he helped rearrange her dress and pulled her knees up so that she was kneeling on the bench over him.  Her body was now flush against his and she felt his hardness so distinctly pressing against her center, exactly what she had been desperate for.  She  moaned softly in relief and he let out a short laugh.  He cradled her cheek, "Oh my Charlotte, my headstrong, stubborn, beautiful Charlotte."  He kissed her lovingly.  Her hips started rocking involuntarily against him, along his length.  "Yes, that's it.  That’s right" he whispered against her lips, his hands on her hips steadying her, guiding her.  </p><p>“Oh my.  Sidney.” she gasped.  She rocked slowly, back and forth, up and down, savoring the feeling.  The friction building was incredible.  She rolled her hips, grinding on him.  His eyes rolled back.  “Charlotte”  It came out almost a low growl.  Their faces were level with each other.  Their eyes locked, hers full of shock and pleasure, his full of so much adoration and desire.  She reached behind him.  There was a high long window.  She grabbed onto the sill to give herself more stability and control.  Her skirt had ridden up so that it was just the fabric of his pants between them now and he desperately wanted to reach down, to touch her, to help her reach her climax but he still felt he needed to maintain some boundaries.  With her arms stretched beyond his head though he couldn’t help but to reach one hand up to her breast.  He massaged it over her dress, his fingertips caressing the soft skin that swelled above her dress's neckline.  He dipped his thumb down into her decolletage, trailed it down until it reached her hard nipple.  He swiped it over and back, and rolled his thumb around it, playing, teasing.  Charlotte whimpered in pleasure, biting her lip.  He ran his thumb across, down through the valley and then up to the other nipple giving it the same attention.  Charlotte’s eyes closed tight, her breath gasping, her hips moving faster, more frantic.  Sidney moved his hand back to her hips to help her keep her balance.  He was thrusting up to meet her, hungrily watching the ecstacy ripple over her face.  “Yes, love, yes.” he whispered.  She called out a long beautiful extended cry and then shuddered curling into his chest.  Sidney’s strong arms wrapped around her and he kissed her cheek, her temple, her hair.  “My God Charlotte.  Tell me this is not a dream.  Tell me you are real.”</p><p>She giggled in her release, panting into his chest, still not quite down from her high.  “Oh” she sighed after resting contentedly for a few minutes.  “Well now I know we must head for Scotland immediately.”</p><p>Sidney laughed loudly.  “It is incredibly difficult to argue against.”  He lifted her chin and looked at her tenderly.  “But let me please give you the wedding, the celebration you deserve.  No running, no more hiding.  Please, my Charlotte.”  She nodded and he kissed her lips softly.</p><p>She remained on his lap, leaning on him.  Her hands absentmindedly roamed over his broad chest, his rubbed her back lovingly.  "I ...I will miss your touch so much now when we are apart.” she said tentatively.</p><p>He leaned to her ear and whispered, despite the fact that they were quite alone, “Until we are together again use your hands and imagine they are mine.”  His voice was low and husky.</p><p>She felt herself growing warm again.  She could feel him still hard underneath her.  She shyly tilted her head up towards him and asked, “Will you do the same?”</p><p>He pressed his lips together, forcing himself not to chuckle.  God, if only she knew.  The very moment he returned to Denham Place tonight.  “Yes, I certainly will.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mr Heywood arrived early as Charlotte expected.  As someone who hated to travel outside of his 5 mile radius she knew he would want to arrive and leave immediately, getting back home as quickly as possible.  She had told Sidney the night before not to arrive at Trafalgar Square first thing in the morning.  It would make it seem suspect whether he was actually staying at Denham Place if he was already there so early.  He hated to wait.  He wanted to be there the moment Mr. Heywood appeared but he conceded knowing that Charlotte would know best in this circumstance.</p><p>When Mr Heywood appeared at 8:30 Mary and Tom were prepared.  They immediately sent their carriage for Sidney and implored Mr Heywood to stay for some breakfast.  He thanked them but started to decline, stating he had had his breakfast at home before leaving.  Luckily he had brought his second oldest son, 16 year old Jack.  Jack could see the anguish on Charlotte’s face.  He knew bits and pieces of what was going on.  “Actually papa, I would be very grateful for a cup of tea and a small bite.”</p><p>“Oh, of course my boy!  Come, come sit!  You've had a long morning already.  Come rest and eat.” Tom ushered him promptly into the dining room, the table already fully set with a wide variety of breakfast foods.  </p><p>Mr Heywood reluctantly followed.  “Thank you for your kindness.  This is most gracious.”</p><p>As they sat at the table Tom immediately began extolling Charlotte’s virtues, her great help over the last few days.  “Brilliant mind for organization.  She is an assistant like none other.  She can take my scattered ideas and form them into real action.  You should hear her thoughts for the rental scheduling.  Brilliant.”</p><p>Mr Heywood smiled uncomfortably.  “Yes, well you can see how we can barely spare her at home.”</p><p>“Of course.  I do hope that we may be able to host her again in the near future, truly.  The upcoming season will require diligent preparation--”</p><p>“We shall have to see.”  Mr Heywood said abruptly.  He did not want to cause a scene or call the Parker’s judgment into question but he did not appreciate the cavalier attitude of Tom Parker considering that his daughter’s reputation seemed to be at stake.</p><p>The conversation lulled and Charlotte sat uncomfortably, unable to look at her father.  Jack, her sweet boy Jack, kept eating and she felt she had never been so grateful for him.  After several minutes of Jack’s quiet chewing they heard a carriage, rushing steps outside, then the front door swinging open and shut quickly.  There was a pause and then measured footsteps walking in the hall.</p><p>“Mr Heywood, sir, may I please speak with you?”  Sidney’s voice soothed her heart, her anxious nerves.</p><p>“Mr Parker, yes, I suppose we should.”  Mr Heywood rose from his chair and Sidney walked him across the hall to the office.  </p><p>“Please take a seat.” Sidney offered.   </p><p>“I have been sitting all morning.  I am more comfortable standing.” </p><p>Sidney nodded, already feeling like he was facing an opponent.  “Sir, forgive me, I should have been utterly clear with my intentions with Miss Heywood when I arrived at your home.  I should have written to you before even.  I was concerned about how you would perceive my recently broken engagement in regards to my feelings for your daughter.”  Sidney earnestly launched straight to the point.</p><p>“And rightly so.  But because you felt your attentions would be inappropriate so soon after ending your engagement you instead decided to take my daughter under false pretenses so that you would not have to face the impropriety of your actions.” Mr Heywood answered evenly.</p><p>Sidney’s jaw tightened.  “Sir, I made a grave error in my previous engagement.  I thought I could aid my family by aligning myself with a wealthy widow but as it happens my love for your daughter was something I could simply not overcome."</p><p>"I'm afraid that does not aid your case in my eyes Mr Parker.  As I understand it you and my daughter had feelings for one another and then you abandoned her for monetary gain.  How am I to imagine that you are a man to be trusted with my daughter's happiness?"  Sidney's face was pained, he swallowed.  "She has been here without a true chaperone, in your presence.  I am not generally one to fret over the importance of reputations but until your arrival Charlotte has never given me reason to worry.  If it were to come out that she was at your home the same day you ended your engagement that alone could be enough to ruin her but then you also bring her here?  What am I to think?!  What sort of man would be so negligent?"</p><p>Sidney exhaled slowly.  He felt he had just been dealt a physical blow.  He wasn't sure how to respond.  It was true, of course he had been careless with her heart and now reckless with her reputation.  "Mr Heywood, I will spend the rest of my days doing right by her if you allow me.  I want to marry her sir."</p><p>John Heywood shook his head.  "I know most fathers would force a man to the altar if they felt he had wronged their daughter, had sullied her in any way.  Your social standing and your financial status, at least before your family’s tragedy, would further recommend you to most fathers.  But frankly Mr Parker, my daughter is too important for me to care about such.  Her happiness is paramount above her reputation and your money.  From the little I know of you I don’t feel confident that a marriage with you would provide the stable, happy life she deserves."</p><p>Sidney felt dizzy, like he was going to be ill.  He had not expected the morning to go well but he had not expected such a refusal.  He raised his eyes to Mr Heywood.  "Sir, but if she returns my affections has she no say in the matter?” he asked quietly, aware he may be overstepping.</p><p>“She obviously holds you in high regard but her feelings for you have resulted in her furtive, imprudent behavior.  My daughter has always been impetuous but always of sound mind and strong principles until you.  And she has always been forthcoming and honest with her mother and I.  Love is sometimes erroneous.”</p><p>Sidney's shoulders rose and fell with his heavy breathing.  He could not let this be the end of it.   He had not come this far to have her father flat out refuse him.  He thought of all of the fights he had been in, all of the times he thought he would be beat but came back swinging hard.  He spoke softly but clearly.  “Our relationship has hardly had a conventional start and I understand and honor your concerns.  However, with all due respect sir, I am currently in the process of moving heaven and earth to be with your daughter.  If you create another hurdle to overcome then I will simply add it to my list.  As long as Miss Heywood will have me I will work tirelessly towards the goal of making her my wife.”  He nodded shallowly to her father and then gestured his arm towards the hall.  “Let me show you back to the dining room.”</p><p>Mr Heywood eyed him carefully.  He had not expected him to fight back so hard and felt belittled that this young man was refusing to accept his answer.  However, the sooner they left the sooner Charlotte could perhaps start forgetting him.  They walked to the dining room.  Charlotte immediately looked up to read their faces and felt her heart dropping,  Her father’s face was set in frustration and impatience.  Sidney’s jaw was set stubbornly.  He looked at her, his eyes sad, angry and tender all at once.  They couldn’t bring themselves to break eye contact.  She knew it could potentially be their only form of communication this morning.  </p><p>Diana and Arthur bustled into the room at that point intent on trying to buy some time before Charlotte was forced to leave.  The two of them had been standing outside of the rear doorway to the office previously, eavesdropping on Sidney’s ill fated conversation.  “It is hardly decent” Diana had said when she pulled Arthur along “but Parkers stick together and Sidney needs us now perhaps as never before.”</p><p>“Mr Heywood!  How lovely to see you again although we are all quite cross you are taking our dear Charlotte from us so suddenly!  No matter!  Another time, soon, I am sure, we shall surely be reunited!”  Arthur said loudly, light heartedly as he swept into the room and grabbed a scone casually. </p><p>Every eye swiveled to him and the buoyant energy that was so out of place in the tense dining room.  </p><p>"Pleased to meet you Mr Heywood.  And who is this?  Surely one of your brothers Charlotte.  The likeness is quite uncanny.  How do you do?"  Diana trilled, matching Arthur's energy.</p><p>"Good morning ma'am." Jack rose from his seat and bowed briefly.  "Jack Heywood, ma'am. Pleased to meet you."</p><p>"How simply darling.  It is so nice to finally meet some of Charlotte's family.  We hear so many lovely things about you all.  Jack, dear, have you seen the sea yet?"  Jack shook his head no.  "Oh that mustn't do!  You have traveled so far.  After you finish we shall all adjourn to take in the air before you go."</p><p>"Oh no.  Thank you but we haven't the time."  My Heywood said gruffly.</p><p>"It would be such a shame for the boy to be so very close and miss the opportunity." </p><p>"We saw it from the carriage thank you."</p><p>"Well perhaps the next time Charlotte returns you can join her Jack.  It may not look like much now but I can tell you there is no place more lovely than Sanditon in the summer." </p><p>Arthur was so proud of his sister for maintaining her sweet, innocent tone while being so persistent in the face of Mr Heywood’s refusals..  He joined in, "Oh yes, Sanditon in the summer.  You shall love the sea bathing.  I was quite nervous about it at first but it was --"</p><p>"As of right now there are no plans for anyone to return to Sanditon.  I imagine you cannot all be in the dark about the nature of Charlotte's abrupt departure and I would appreciate it if you would show some decency and respect for our family's situation.  Charlotte, where is your bag?  It is time to leave."  Mr Heywood said impatiently, shattering any pretence.</p><p>Tom shot a look at Sidney motioning with his eyes for him to go to Charlotte.  He turned and swept his arm towards Mr Heywood turning him to the hall and speaking gently, "Sir, you have my greatest apologies if you feel your daughter has been ill treated.  I can assure you that she has been well attended and chaperoned throughout her visit.  I have daughters of my own and clearly understand the pain this uncertainty could cause you.  Please, sir, know that we have treated her as carefully as if she were our own family. We hold Charlotte in the utmost esteem.  And while my brother's attentions may seem problematic at first glance he is a most loyal, kind and generous man.  You shall see in time.  I promise you shall see."</p><p>In the meantime Sidney had quickly strode to Charlotte's place at the table and crouched by her chair, making their faces level.  He looked her firmly in the eyes and whispered quickly, "I will win his favor.  I will do everything in my power.  And if not I will come for you.  I promise you Charlotte.  I will come for you.  We will be together."  He pressed her hand, quickly rose and moved back across the room and up the stairs to gather her bag.  Everyone in the room, Mary, Jack, Diana and Arthur, looked on, eyes wide, shocked by being made privy to such a display of ardent, desperate emotion.</p><p>Mary rose from her seat and rushed to Charlotte's side hugging her.  "This will pass Charlotte.  It will all turn out.  Sidney will take care of it." </p><p>Charlotte nodded and brushed a few tears from her cheeks.  She hated this drama, hated that her father who she loved so dearly was so wrong, hated that she and Sidney were being separated again.  But she believed Sidney when he said they would be together and took great comfort in it.  She smiled faintly at Mary and then at Diana, her voice breaking, "Imagine, we could be sisters."  Diana smiled sadly and hurried over to join their hug.</p><p>"Come along Charlotte, Jack.  Mother will be waiting." </p><p>The household emptied out into the street to see Charlotte off.  The Parker children cried, still surprised by Charlotte's unexpected departure.  </p><p>Sidney stepped to Mr Heywood's side.  "May I have permission to write her sir?"</p><p>Mr Heywood sighed in frustration.  "Mr Parker, my wife and I are already concerned that you are better acquainted with our daughter than is proper.  Perhaps if you feel the need to write to anyone you should write to us, let us get to know you."</p><p>Sidney nodded curtly.  "Yes, of course sir."</p><p>Mr Heywood hesitated, "I am not a proud man Mr Parker.  I love my daughter and simply want the best for her.  If I find I am in the wrong you will have my apology."</p><p>Sidney was too overwhelmed by their imminent separation to answer.  He simply nodded again and stepped back.  His eyes sought Charlotte.  As her father helped her into the carriage she looked back and met his eyes.  Again they held each other's eyes silently sharing their love, their goodbyes.  She watched him from the carriage window until they turned off of the street.</p><p>As the carriage rounded the corner the Parker family closed in on Sidney.  Mary and Diana hugged him fondly.  "Brother, we shall work together to bring her back.  This will not be the end." Tom said clapping him on the shoulder and then pulling him into a hug as well.</p><p>"Yes, you are right.  Thank you Tom." desperately trying to maintain his composure.</p><p>"Onwards.  Let us chart a plan of action to retrieve Miss Heywood!" Tom said, leading the group out of the cold and back into the house.  For the first time in years, as he followed him inside, Sidney felt the surge of trust and admiration that younger brothers can only hold for their older brothers.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry readers.  We all love our Sidney Parker but I can't imagine Charlotte's family being equally enthused.  🤔</p><p>Onwards!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney had excused himself to go rest when they reentered Trafalgar Square.  He appreciated his family’s support and concern but was not ready to discuss anything.  He walked up the stairs and straight to Charlotte’s room.  He leaned on the doorframe and sighed heavily, taking in the lack of her, the void of her sparkling energy.  He walked to the bed and sat on it gingerly.  It seemed indecent to lay on it even though it was no longer her room so he sat, feet on the floor and gazed out the window at the sea.  </p><p>He imagined her carriage traveling over the clifftops, on their way out of town and briefly thought of jumping on his horse and chasing her down again.  But if he wanted to start their marriage in scandal then they may as well have just run off to Scotland last night.  No, he had gone about everything wrong in his courtship of her and now he desperately wanted to make it right, get her father’s blessing, have all of her siblings there to celebrate their marriage with her.  She deserved only the best.</p><p>He tried not to let Mr Heywood’s words faze him but he couldn’t help but take them to heart.  He had been reckless in a way that would do far more harm to Charlotte than himself.  He had been trying so hard to do the right thing, to practice restraint and yet it didn’t matter.  He still made foolish mistakes.  Maybe he was too unstable, maybe he could never be the kind of man who was worthy of Charlotte.  He thought he had changed but maybe it was simply not in his nature after all.</p><p>As he sat thinking he noticed an envelope on the desk.  He walked over and saw it was addressed to him.  He inhaled and opened it.</p><p>“My dearest Sidney,</p><p>Whenever this note reaches you know that I am thinking of you.  For I will be thinking of you every moment of every day until we are together again.  </p><p>I know you will worry about me and will be besieged with concerns of how to make things right.  I know that is your way but please do not.  I am fine.  I am in your presence at heart and can be content with that for now.  Remember my love, you do not have to be the lonely savior.  I will do anything in my power to aid you from afar and you know that your siblings, Georgiana and friends will be ever by your side as well.</p><p>Sanditon will be a success and you and I will be together.  I am sure of it.  I am sure of you my darling.  Until then I will fall asleep each night thinking of you and our happy future.</p><p>All of my love forever,<br/>Charlotte”</p><p> </p><p>He read it over and over conjuring her image, her voice in his mind.  Charlotte believed in him and that was enough to quiet Mr Heywood’s words, to propel him forward. </p><p> </p><p>Charlotte, Jack and her father arrived home in time for lunch and to her young siblings it seemed simply like a happy homecoming.  Only the older ones knew that her trip had been cut short for scandalous reasons.  Allison, William, Jack and Rebecca had all been conferring with each other over the matter ever since Charlotte had left and their parent’s heated whispers had started drifting through the house.  They knew that Uncle Stephen and Aunt Beatrice had been contacted for more information about Charlotte's London stay and they knew the response was enough to make them decide to retrieve Charlotte early.  Allison felt guilty telling her siblings what she knew of Charlotte and Sidney's relationship but as all members of large, close families know, once you tell one of them it's only a matter of time until it becomes common knowledge.  </p><p>So after lunch when they were told to entertain the little ones while mother and father talked to Charlotte they knew a very serious conversation was about to take place.  </p><p>"It is clear the chap is completely mad about her.  It was horrible to watch." said Jack glumly.</p><p>"Was it terribly dramatic Jack?  Did he and papa argue? I wish I had been there." Rebecca asked eagerly.</p><p>"They spoke privately.  I didn't hear any raised voices but they certainly both looked upset when they returned."</p><p>"I still don't think we can fault Papa and Mama.  It certainly didn't look proper." said William, every mindful of his young man of the house role.</p><p>Allison glared at him, "Perhaps we'll remember that when you fall in love and you can see how it feels."</p><p>William rolled his eyes at her and they went off to mind the children.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte followed her parents to the study and sat quietly, stoically.  She was so angry with them.  Of course she understood their reasoning but that didn't make it feel any easier to suddenly be here instead of at Sidney's side.</p><p>"Charlotte."  Her mother had been thinking this over for days and was still having a difficult time coming up with the right words, the right tone.  "As you know we're very concerned, concerned enough that Papa traveled all the way to come get you.  We are surprised by your actions and very hurt by your deception.  I don't think we raised you to act so thoughtlessly, so dangerously."  Charlotte sat quietly refusing to speak.</p><p>"Charlotte, you are a bright girl.  You know what a terrible lasting effect a tarnished reputation can have.  It was simply not decent.  I cannot imagine a situation where a man like that could be a reasonable suitor for you.  Truly." Her father said insistently.</p><p>“You didn’t even give him a chance Papa!” Charlotte cried.</p><p>"We spoke.  I heard what he had to say."</p><p>“You told him he couldn’t write me!  You didn’t even let us have a proper parting!”  Mrs Heywood looked at her husband a little surprised.</p><p>“I said he could write to your mother and I, the family.  And I didn’t forbid you from saying goodbye.”</p><p>“You just about pushed me into the carriage.” she responded hotly.</p><p>Mr Heywood sighed.  “Charlotte, this is not easy for any of us.  This is not what any of us want.  But you can clearly see that this was not a proper courting.  I know you have that much sense.  You should have been honest with us from the start.”</p><p>“Yes, but if I had been honest…” she started angrily and then stopped abruptly.</p><p>“If you had been honest we would not have let you go to Sanditon as you wished.”  Mrs Heywood finished quietly.  “You deliberately chose to deceive us.  I am sorry you are unhappy now Charlotte.”</p><p>Her eyebrows knit together and she scowled.  “I love him and I will not give him up.  Know that.” she said defiantly, flailing to have the last word.  </p><p>“Yes, I’ve heard the same story from your Mr Parker.” Mr Heywood stated flatly and Charlotte turned on her heel and left the room.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte avoided her siblings eyes as she stalked out of the study.  She went straight up to her room.  The maid had brought up her bag but not yet unpacked it so she decided to do it to make herself busy.  Putting her things back into the chest she shared with Allison in their modest room made her even more bitter.  She desperately wanted the move forward and yet here she was, back home earlier than expected, a long dull winter ahead of her and no plans for when she would see Sidney again.  As she jammed her hand into her bag to grab the next item her fingers came across something hard that she didn't recognize.  She pulled out a small box wrapped in paper.  There was a note tied to it addressed to her.  She quickly opened it.  </p><p>"Dearest Charlotte,</p><p>Let us hope that this will be our last Christmas spent apart.  As I will not see you I had to send your gift early.  Do not open until Christmas Eve.  No peeking!  Please open at 9:00 in the evening if possible.  I want to be thinking of you when you are opening it.</p><p>Yours always,<br/>Sidney"</p><p>Her eyes welled with tears.  She kissed the box, clutched it to her heart and then carefully tucked it into one of her chemises to keep it safe.  She took a deep breath and blew it slowly out through her mouth.  She could do this.  She could manage it with grace.  As long as Sidney was the end result she could manage anything.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the delay.  There has not been much time for writing and come on, long distance relationships are a drag to live and write.  But we have ground to cover so on we go!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once Charlotte was gone there was really no further reason for Sidney to stay in Sanditon.  He hadn't really needed so much time there to begin with, he just wanted an excuse to be with her.  Really, from a business standpoint, it was for the best as he and Georgiana could now head back to London and make the most of all of the holiday festivities in town.  A month of non-stop London society was hardly what he wanted but his primary goal was to get as many Terrace apartments as he could under contract.  That would give them some fluid capital to keep up as best as possible with their debtors while still moving forward with the limited construction they had decided on.</p><p>"Try not to be too disappointed but we must be diligent in attending the very most elegant and exciting events of the season.  We will probably be out almost every night until after New Year's.  I know that must pain you tremendously." Sidney had straight faced but teasingly told an ecstatic Georgiana.  And so they packed up the very day Charlotte had left and were gone the following morning, off to woo the beau monde.</p><p> </p><p>Before leaving Sidney had entreated his family to write Charlotte as often as possible.  He didn't want her feeling lonely and felt as he would be writing to her parents it would be out of place to write more than once a fortnight.  He wrote his first letter to the Heywood’s immediately though.</p><p>“Dear Mr and Mrs Heywood,</p><p>I would like to formally introduce myself as a prospective suitor for Charlotte.  I am the third born of four children, born to Michael and Agatha Parker.  We were raised in London but my grandfather grew up on a country estate like your own.  As the fourth brother he moved to London to make a name for himself and worked in shipping until eventually he owned his own warehouse by the docks.  My father and then subsequently older brother inherited the business which was very successful.  As a young man I briefly studied at Cambridge before deciding to go abroad.  I set out for Antigua to create further trade contacts for my brother.  While there I also expanded on my own and have created a comfortable life for myself.  Three years ago my brother, Tom, sold the property and the business to begin his grand endeavour in Sanditon, of which I am also a shareholder.  My parents, sadly, passed on years ago.  We started visiting Sanditon when my father fell ill and it has held a very special place in our family's heart since. </p><p>As siblings we share a property in London…..”</p><p> </p><p>The letter was so formal, so unlike Sidney's true self that it made Charlotte sad when she read it after her father passed it on.  She understood that he wanted her parents to have as much information about him as possible but it seemed so sterile, so contractual.  She was relieved when he closed the letter stating, "Now that we have gotten the formalities out of the way I hope we can get to know each other better as individuals.  I do so hope to win your approval over time."</p><p>She was also amused to see that he had written and included a chapter of what seemed to be his own take on Aesop's fable of the Country Mouse and the City Mouse addressed to the Heywood children.  In it two mice met along the road, one from the country and one from the city.  They each felt like outliers in their own communities and were looking for a place that would feel more like home.  The country mouse was very insistent on seeing the city mouse's hometown of London.  The city mouse meanwhile, had tired of London and was anxious to move on yet he was so enamored by the companionship of his new friend that he agreed to travel back with her.  But the streets were dirty and dodgy and the country mouse very quickly missed the green hills and fresh air that she was accustomed to so they packed their bags again and decided to adventure into the world together to find their place.  This story was read aloud to the whole family and the children enjoyed it immensely and hoped there would be more to come.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte meanwhile had written to Susan.  She felt embarrassed asking her for a favor after all Susan had already done for her over the course of their friendship.  However she reminded herself that it was really all she could do from a distance for Sanditon and Sidney and in that instance she could certainly bear to make herself uncomfortable.  She told Susan the state of her and Sidney's relationship, how they were secretly on the brink of engagement as they waited for a socially acceptable time frame to avoid further scandal with Mrs Campion.  She also told her that much of their plans hinged on Sanditon's financial stability.  She didn’t mention the further complications coming from her own family.  It felt too depressing to put in words.  </p><p>She then stated that she was so happy to hear that Susan would be in Sanditon over the summer and asked humbly if she could help spread the word of the Terrace apartments or perhaps introduce Sidney and Georgiana to potentially interested parties.  Susan responded within the week.</p><p>“Dear Charlotte,</p><p>I must admit, I had already been notified and thrilled by the news of your romance by Georgiana.  We have been in close contact over Sanditon.  Actually I have been seeing much of her and Sidney out on the town.  I had heard that you had limited contact with your beloved but did not realize it was so limited that you did not know of his current work in London.  It will give you some relief I think to hear that, surprising as it may seem, the oddness of the pair of them has attracted much attention for Sanditon.  </p><p>Georgiana, being a chief investor, while also a foreign born daughter of a slave and Sidney, the mysterious man in black who gambles, drinks, fights and falls out of engagements, has led quite an air of mystique that has captivated the beau monde.  Interestingly enough they both share charismatic personalities but with little patience for foolishness and superficiality which again results in them leaving the crowd wanting more.  I think that it was most auspicious that Sidney spent several weeks in Sanditon after the end of his engagement.  It gave Mrs Campion time to spread her rumors but as he was not in town, they could not grow as she probably hoped.  So now that the gossip has subsided he is less a villain and perhaps more alluring and rakish.  I hope you will not be offended by that as I obviously don't think it is his true character but as it stands, it is seemingly very good for a business that is trying to build itself on recreation and diversion.</p><p>All in all I think things are going quite well and have casually encouraged several friends to invest and buy property.  As your Mr Parker says, “It is a delicate business.”</p><p>I do hope that you are well and wish quite strongly that I could have you stay with me but Georgiana said that she was sure that would be quite impossible.  If you think you could manage to convince your parents I would be so very pleased to see you after New Years.</p><p>Fondly,<br/>Susan”</p><p>Charlotte smiled to herself.  She was pleased to hear that things were going well and she was sure Georgiana was very much enjoying this new and exciting role.  She had only received a very brief letter from her since leaving and now it made sense, knowing that she was probably constantly out.  She tried to imagine Georgiana and Sidney working as a team in a crowded ballroom and she desperately wished she could be there.  She hadn't done so well advertising Sanditon last summer at Mrs Maudesly's ball.  She knew that was not one of her strengths but she wanted to be in their presence, to watch the two of them shine as they rightly deserved.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Watch your Peeps consumption this weekend friends because we're going to be gorging on sugary fluff for the foreseeable future!</p><p>I'm always bummed when you push through all the drama and angst of a story to get to "They kissed and they were happy.  The End."</p><p>Nope.  Gimme more of that happiness.  So yeah, marshmallow time!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Sidney, why are we not having drinks at Lord and Lady Langley's tonight before the ball?  We are both dressed and ready and it is to be well attended but intimate, the perfect situation.  I think it is foolish to miss." Georgiana asked from the door of his study, coifed, jeweled and ready to leave.  It was Christmas Eve and Sidney was sitting at his desk with a glass of port.  "What are you doing in here anyway?" She asked, looking around, noticing his desk was empty, no letters, no books, no paperwork or newspaper.  </p><p>He exhaled, annoyed.  "You know I tire of all of this society mingling.  Give me some peace please.  Perhaps we shall make it there just before everyone leaves for the ball."</p><p>"But why wait so long?  You know you've been wanting to talk specifically to Mr Greene about his potential interest and he will be there."</p><p>"Georgiana" he groaned "if we chase everyone down that has any interest then we shall lose everyone.  It is best to not look desperate.  Please, give me some privacy.  We shall leave soon, I promise."</p><p>She rolled her eyes to the ceiling and left him.  Sidney looked at the clock for what seemed like the hundredth time over the last fifteen minutes.  8:50 PM.  He wondered what Charlotte was doing now.  He wondered if she was also watching the clock waiting for 9:00.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte was in the sitting room with the rest of her family after Christmas Eve dinner.  Her relationship with her parents was still very strained.  They didn't speak much but they didn't argue either.  Charlotte knew that at this point she was just waiting for Sidney to come get her, either with or without her father's blessing.  She wasn't sure if this was easier or more difficult than their last parting.  Obviously knowing that their future was almost ensured was better than knowing he was planning a future with someone else but after having several blissful days with him in Sanditon it made it very difficult to now be apart.  She watched the clock, too distracted to participate in the noisy game of charades her siblings were playing.  At 8:55 she excused herself with a slight headache and went to her room.  She quietly opened the chest in her room and pulled the box out of its hiding space.  </p><p>She sat holding it for a couple minutes, trying to wait until exactly 9:00 as Sidney had requested.  When she opened the box she found another note and a folded piece of fabric.  She carefully opened the fabric and a silver ring fell into her hand.  Her mouth opened in silent shock, her eyes blinking.  It was a delicate, thin band with a simple flower motif engraved around it.  She held it in her palm, feeling its cool and subtle weight as she read the note.</p><p>"Darling Charlotte,</p><p>How unconventional to receive a wedding ring when there is no groom present, no date set!  And yet our courtship has been unconventional enough that I felt that perhaps it would be fitting.  For now, though apart, I give you this ring, dreaming of the day I can slip it on your finger at the altar.  Keep it with you as a promise, a sign of my utter steadfastness. </p><p>Always,<br/>
Sidney"</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte looked at the ring through her teary eyes.  She wanted to try it on but worried that perhaps it would be bad luck.  They certainly couldn't stand any more of that.  She went to her dressing table and found her long chain.  She slipped the ring through it and tried it on.  The chain was long enough that if she was wearing a modest neckline the ring would be well hidden.  She laughed softly to herself, overwhelmed, and placed her hand over the ring on her bosom.  “Thank you my love.” she whispered and then promptly sat down to write him a note to be delivered within Georgiana's next letter.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney’s second letter arrived a couple of days after Christmas.  This one was noticeably addressed to the Heywood family.  He sent them tales of the London festivities, the lights, the carolers, the magnificent tree he saw at one home.  He sincerely hoped they had a very cheerful and blessed Christmas and that the new year would bring them much happiness and prosperity.  He also added a post script at the end addressed to Charlotte alone, “Merry Christmas Miss Heywood.  You were much on my mind this holiday season.  I hope it brought you much joy and peace.”</p><p>Much to the children’s delight he included another chapter of his story in which the mice sailed to Antigua together.  There they both fell in love with the bright colors and sounds and smells of the island.  They ate tropical fruits and napped in the soft sand under the shade of palm trees and everything seemed perfect.  But eventually they both grew exhausted of the constant heat and missed seeing snow at Christmas so they packed their bags and set off again.</p><p>As winter slowly dragged on Sidney’s letters to the Heywood’s grew more and more personal.  He would address individual children in the letters with anecdotes that he felt they would specifically be interested in.  Charlotte wasn’t sure how he remembered all of her sibling’s names, let alone some of their interests but it certainly made the children feel special.  He included newspaper clippings and sometimes a silly little drawing.  </p><p>Charlotte noticed too that her father started writing replies.  They were certainly brief, sometimes only “Thank you for your letter”, but he was responding.  A great turning point was in February.  Sidney wrote saying that he wanted to plant a small public garden in Sanditon for Georgiana as a placeholder for the tropical conservatory she later hoped to build.  He wanted to have something prepared in time for her birthday in March but knew there was very little he could do in mid winter.  He begged the Heywood's if they had any ideas.  Mrs Heywood and Allison loved their gardens and were always thrilled by the chance to help fledgling gardeners.</p><p>"Well, the climate is a bit more mild on the coast so if the ground isn't frozen he could start mapping and cutting his beds.  Having his form in place will be a hopeful thing to look at in March." said Allison.</p><p>"Absolutely" Mrs Heywood agreed, "We can certainly send him some larkspur seeds and cornflower, salvia, primrose…  We'll have to see what else we have that he could sow right now to come up in early spring.  Oh forget me nots of course."</p><p>"Oh and mother if he could get peony tubers that would be such a lovely plant for a tribute garden since they last for generations.  I bet he could still plant them."</p><p>"Yes, beautiful idea.  I'm certain he could find some in London.  Let's start writing a list."</p><p>Charlotte sat on the other side of the room and tried to hide her beaming face behind her book.</p><p> </p><p>In the meantime Sidney's little mice kept traveling.  They went on to New York City in America where they were amazed by the excitement and energy of the growing metropolis.  But there were large rats that pushed them around and soon the hustle of the city again left them yearning for the comfort of nature.  They headed west in covered wagons as pioneers and were mesmerized by magnificent red canyons and snow capped mountains.  But they grew lonely so far from everything they knew.  On to Rome where they feasted on delicious foods and explored the great ruins of the ancient empire but the pigeons were too territorial and they couldn't find a comfortable place to call their own.  They nested on the sphinx, the Great Wall.  Each letter contained a new chapter with a new destination for the mice and it became the highlight of every fortnight for the Heywood children.  </p><p>Charlotte too was enthralled by the stories.  She saw obvious traces of herself and Sidney in the two mice.  The female mouse was naive and overly trusting but smart and resourceful.  The male mouse could be grouchy and too serious but was sentimental and loyal.  The mice had conversations and thoughts that harkened back to ones that she and Sidney shared.  </p><p>She was impressed by all of the details in the stories and wondered how much of it was written by first hand information, inspired by Sidney's own travels.  She also was smitten by Sidney's playful writing.  It reminded her of the lightness she saw in him when he interacted with his nieces and nephews.  She couldn't help but get lost in reveries of him someday balancing their own children on his lap, their little ones captivated by his calming voice and imagination.</p><p> </p><p>"This mouse story is obviously just a thinly veiled love letter to Charlotte you know."  Mr Heywood said in bed one night after they had received a half dozen letters or so.  He had noticed the far off look in Charlotte's eyes as he read aloud the latest chapter that evening.</p><p>Mrs Heywood smiled to herself in the dark wondering if he had just figured it out or if he had just been quietly worrying about it all this time.  "Yes, I believe it is."  She paused.  "I don't think this is going to fade John.  I believe we have a real instance of absence making the heart grow stronger.  And you know how stubborn Charlotte can be."</p><p>"But can it possibly be a good match for her Tilda?  I hate to see her end up with a London dandy who will leave her alone in a townhouse as his whims change."</p><p>"We don't know for certain that is who he is.  At first glance everything pointed that way but he has been quite faithful and diligent in his writing.  I think we might just have to trust Charlotte's judgement now."</p><p>"Yes, you may be right.  But I'm not ready to concede yet.  I need a bit more convincing from him."</p><p>"Yes I think that's fine.  I don't think anything will change in either direction in the meanwhile" she said, turning away from him to fall asleep.  She had realized the match was inevitable weeks ago but she knew it often took men longer to come to the same conclusions.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was sometime in early March that she saw him.  It was at a ball, a very large one but she saw him almost immediately from across the vast room.  He noticed her soon after and for a while they avoided each other while carefully charting the other's location.  Finally they could no longer fight the pull and found themselves face to face.</p><p>"How do you do Miss Lambe?" he asked stiffly.</p><p>"Quite well thank you and yourself Mr Molyneux?" she said, feigning ease, airiness.</p><p>"Well, thank you." he averted her eyes.  It was too difficult to look at her, to see the vivacious woman whose heart had once been his but was no longer.   "I have heard the news of your investment in Sanditon…" he said, looking at his shoes, the wall behind her.  He clearly had more to say, more to ask but he no longer had the privilege of her confidence and could go no further.</p><p>"Yes, it has been quite exciting really."</p><p>He nodded seriously.  He wondered what had changed that she was investing in Sidney's interests when she, they, had always seen him as the enemy.  Granted he held Sidney in slightly higher regard since he paid off Otis's debts but he also wondered sometimes if it had just been a way for Sidney to put him in his own emotional debt and firmly away from Georgiana.  He hoped she was not somehow being controlled or punished.  "Well if you are happy, I am obviously pleased for you." he said, finally looking her in the eye, wanting her to know he truly meant it.</p><p>Georgiana looked back at him.  It felt so right to finally stand before him again and yet here they were, barely acquaintances now.  She knew she should despise him, that seeing him should remind her of all of the suffering he caused her, but after all they had shared he was her Otis and she didn't think that would ever truly change.  There would be others, she had no doubt, but he was still her first love and that would never change in her heart.</p><p>"Mr Molyneux.  What a surprise." said Sidney carefully, protectively, as he appeared at Georgiana's side.  "I presume you are well."</p><p>"Yes sir, thank you.  And yourself?  Are you well?”</p><p>“Yes, thank you, quite.”  Sidney said simply.</p><p>Otis’s eyes had again begun wandering uncomfortably.  “Well, I must be going.  Good evening." He nodded deeply, gave Georgiana a last glance and left.</p><p>"And how are you?  Are you well?"  Sidney asked her peering down at her, a hint of concern in his voice.  She nodded.  "I presume this was not a planned meeting?"</p><p>"No, that would be foolish after all that came before."</p><p>"Well yes, I would agree but it is not my mind or heart at play."</p><p>"Of course." She agreed vaguely.  Sidney looked at her suspiciously.  "It seems you have more you would like to say." She said annoyed by his obvious curiosity.</p><p>"Oh no, it would be rude to press a personal subject when the other party clearly doesn't want to talk about it." He said casting his eyes across the ballroom, a corner of his lip curling slightly, clearly referencing all the times she had pressed him over Charlotte.</p><p>"It wasn't rude when I did it, it was… enlightening, helpful." She said lightly with a toss of her head but was truly grateful he wasn't pressing her about Otis.</p><p>"Yes, well, perhaps it wasn't so ill conceived.  Come, let us go continue to charm the blasted beau monde."  He offered her his arm and they were off.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney had been planning to go to Charlotte in April.  She had told him before that spring in her family’s orchard was the most beautiful place in the world to her with all of the fragrant trees blooming and the fresh green grass coming up anew.  When he was feeling depleted he would envision her under the trees, pink and white blooms above.  He would picture her hair spilling out from under her bonnet, her dark eyes, her sweet smile, her flushed cheeks.  He would propose there once he got her father's blessing.  Or if he didn't get his blessing he would still take her there and propose an elopement and then whisk her off.</p><p>It would be early for sure.  Really he should wait until Lady Denham held her June review with them, wait to see if she would keep her investment in place.  But he couldn't.  He just couldn't wait that long anymore.  Charlotte said she would marry him regardless and he was going to take her at her word.  And by then it would be five months since he broke his engagement with Eliza.  Again, early, but things had been quiet from Eliza.  They had obviously crossed paths here and there over the last couple of months.  She had either ignored him or in a couple instances been coldly civil.  Humorously, he took heart in that.  She didn’t seem to be actively working against him anyway.</p><p>He heard from Charlotte fairly regularly.  She would include sealed notes to him in the letters she wrote to Georgiana.  He felt like a school boy with a crush every time Georgiana passed him one of those small, folded notes.  He would read them over and over and then keep them in his breast pocket until a new one arrived to replace it.  When he was suffering through another dull luncheon or as another pretty but vacuous woman would flaunt herself before him his hand would subconsciously flit to his pocket, to make sure Charlotte was there with him.</p><p>Meanwhile Sidney, especially on his visit to Sanditon to work on the garden for Georgiana and check on the construction progress, was finding ways to tease Charlotte from afar.  She had been receiving letters from all of the Parker's throughout the winter but whenever Sidney was with them he would make sure to add playfully suggestive lines into their letters, probably because he knew he couldn't get away with it with Georgiana.  Mary wrote to her, "Sidney is here having tea with me and would like me to tell you that the children played hide and seek with him yesterday and you were very dearly missed."  Diana wrote, "Sidney is insisting that I tell you that he has thrilling plans for his Bedford Hall office that he is very anxious to share with you.  I suppose he means interior decor but he is being very silly and vague.  I suppose you will understand or will have to ask him for more information later."  </p><p>But the one that really made her blush crimson was from Tom.  "Sidney wants me to inform you that he carefully inspected the bathing machines yesterday and they are in very good working order but would like to thoroughly review them with you next time you are in town.  Frankly I'm not sure what could be wrong with them, we have only had them for a season but he said to confirm it with you anyway." Oh if Tom knew what was behind Sidney's words.  She began to think of that last night together and immediately had to grab her cloak and go out for a walk in the cold air to calm herself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My readers, I can't tell you how lovely it is to hear from you all especially while we're in this time of isolation.  It's nice to have a little kinship right now.  Thank you!</p><p>This chapter has been in my head for quite awhile and two or three weeks ago and I quickly wrote it down and have been anxious to share it with you since.  Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There had been loose ends to tie up before leaving London, opinions to sway and contracts to finalize.  The whole month as Sidney ran from appointment to appointment he watched the trees.  When the cherry trees were at full bloom and he was still at least a fortnight out from leaving he began to despair.  He couldn't leave London until he had made the very most of all of the contacts and leads he had.  He did not want to have to return to the city.  He was exhausted.  It felt like he had been running ever since November.  He had never worked so hard for so long in his life.  He was tired of the superficiality of it all, tired of being a spokesperson, tired of being in charge.  He wanted to be himself again, with Charlotte.  But he kept running and watching the slowly budding trees, hopeful he could still make it on time.</p><p>He arrived in late April.  When her father had said she was in the orchard minding the children Sidney's heart swelled.  Somehow fate had allowed him to arrive directly into his own daydream.  His conversation with Mr Heywood had been brief.  He had sent him a private note to let him know he would be coming.  There wasn't really much to review at this point, simply the matter of a single question.  Now Sidney could see her from a distance, seated under a flowering apple tree just as he had been imagining for months, dress spread out around her, laughing and talking to her young siblings as they orbited her, playing.  His heart fluttered and he picked up the pace, breaking almost into a run.  Charlotte noticed movement out of the corner of her eye and turned her head.  Her heart stopped and she blinked several times, squinting through the sun.  Surely she could not be mistaken.  She rose slowly to her feet and watched him until he was almost there.  And then as if suddenly coming to her senses she began to laugh and run to him.  They crashed into each other and he enveloped her in his arms tightly, their cheeks pressed against each other.  </p><p>“Marry me.  Please Charlotte.  Marry me.  Be my wife.  Please.  Charlotte.”  he whispered breathlessly as he squeezed her.</p><p>She couldn’t stop laughing, her eyes tearing in joy.  “Yes, yes, of course.  Yes.”</p><p>“A fortnight.  No more please.  In Sanditon?”</p><p>“Yes, yes, yes.”</p><p>He pulled his head back to look at her and smiled so relieved, their future finally secure.  The children had gathered around and were bouncing up and down talking excitedly all at once.  Sidney said evenly, a mischievous smile curling at the corner of his lips, “Children, your sister is now my betrothed.  Avert your eyes please for I must kiss her properly, as is custom.”  Of course this excited them even more and they flurried all around as Sidney lowered his head to kiss her softly, lingering.</p><p>Their foreheads rested on each other and Charlotte chuckled quietly after a moment.  “Goodness, what a savage proposal.  I shall have to tell our children someday that their father almost bowled me over in a field demanding I marry him.”</p><p>Sidney said with mock seriousness, “I learned my lesson, Miss Heywood.  Proposals should be short and to the point.  For all I knew Edward Denham was just on the edge of those trees.”  They both smirked in shared discomfort of a moment that until then they had never spoken of, the pain of it now almost completely erased by their joy.</p><p>Sidney’s face grew soft and serious as he took her two hands, “Charlotte, you have chided me for acting the savior but truly it is you who has been my savior, twice even.  Last summer in Sanditon you saved me from my belief that I should live a solitary, meaningless life; merely floating through.”  He inhaled, “And then I lost my way again and you came and found me, you brought me back.  You are my light.  I will gratefully worship you all of my days.”</p><p>Charlotte blushed, “I don’t need you to worship me.  We have each held each other up and we will continue to do so.  Let us be equals, not saviors.”</p><p>Sidney smiled, “Yes, as you wish.”  He squeezed her hands and then leaned in and whispered in her ear, “I shall simply satisfy myself by worshipping at the temple of your body instead.”</p><p>Charlotte pulled back, her eyebrow cocked, “Shall we go for a walk?  I could probably convince the children not to follow us.”</p><p>Sidney chuckled shaking his head, “I just now finally received your father’s blessing.  I should hardly sully you on his property.  But soon, so very soon.”  He breathed out the last sentence, slowly in a way that made Charlotte weak in the knees and even more desperate to go for that walk.  She pouted and looked up at him through her eyelashes. “My siren, she will not rest until I am dashed upon the rocks.” he laughed again, taking her chin in his hand and kissing her lightly.  “No, surprisingly, there is something I’d rather do more right now.”</p><p>Sidney removed his coat, folded it neatly and dropped it on the grass.  He then sat and pulled off his boots and stockings.  He looked up at Charlotte and motioned for her to sit with his eyes.  She sat and he asked almost shyly,  “What I would like most right now, Charlotte, I am a weary traveler, may I just lay my head in your lap and rest?”</p><p>She smiled warmly and smoothed her skirt.  “Come.”</p><p>He laid down, stretched out his long legs, sighed deeply and closed his eyes.  The dappled sunlight played across his face and Charlotte reached out and gently traced his eyebrows, the ridge of his nose, the bow of his lips.  She ran her fingers through his hair, watching how his curls would wrap around them.  She reached down and softly scratched at the stubble on his cheek, his jaw.  Sidney smiled contentedly, eyes still closed, and lifted his chin, silently encouraging her to scratch under it.  She grinned and thought that this truly, was the start of the intimacy of their married life.  The casual simplicity of touch, no more hurrying or hiding.</p><p>Sidney felt that he perhaps had never been happier in his life, had never known a moment so perfect.  He thought how strange it was that he and Charlotte had not even known one another for a full year and yet it seemed like he had been fighting for ages to get here.  He thought of how he could have been married to Eliza by now had Charlotte not simply told him to choose her at the Harvest Ball.  He thought of the desperation and hopelessness he had felt watching her dance with partner after partner that night, how he was sure she’d fall in love and he’d be tortured for the rest of his days watching her life from the sidelines of London society.  And yet he was now here anchored safely to her, lovingly in her lap.  He felt the sun dancing over his closed eyes, he felt her hands caressing his scalp and without meaning to he drifted off to sleep, his heart full, his body completely relaxed.</p><p> </p><p>"Tilda, come see." Mr Heywood called into the house.</p><p>She came out through the back door, wiping her hands on her apron.  He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and jutted his chin in the direction of the party coming down the hill from the orchard.  The children rambled in front, skipping, playing, shouting.  Bobby wore Sidney's top hat and was flourishing a blossoming branch from an apple tree like a walking cane.  Charlotte and Sidney brought up the rear, arm in arm.  They both wore flower crowns that the little girls had laughingly woven for them while Sidney slept.  They were both barefoot.    Sidney walked with his boots and coat in hand, slung over his back like a king’s cape.  The late afternoon sun shone gold on them all, their shadows trailing long behind them.</p><p>John chuckled softly, "Odyesseus on his return."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ah, I'm not getting any writing done this week.  This was meant to be a longer chapter but I just can't get it finished so I'm just throwing out what I have right now.  </p><p>Gotta be honest, I know we're slowly working towards a wedding but I really have no interest in writing the wedding/wedding night.  Maybe because they're already in so many stories.  I know the details but eh, not really feeling excited about it.  We'll see maybe the weekend will bring some inspiration.  Otherwise don't be too surprised if suddenly it's, "Two months after the wedding..."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was at dinner that Anne worked up the courage to address this tall, exciting stranger directly.  "Mr Sidney?  What about the mice?"</p><p>"Ah, yes, what about our traveling friends indeed.  Well as it happens the author slipped me the last chapter before I left London.  Shall I read it to you all after dinner?"</p><p>They gathered around him in the sitting room and he read the final chapter.  The mice had most recently been in Sri Lanka which was so lovely but the monsoons kept flooding their home.  They decided to try Norway.  They had heard the fjords were a majestic sight and they were ready for a colder climate.  They hopped on a ship but they had been bickering when they boarded and they accidentally got on the wrong ship and found themselves heading back for England.  They were terribly disappointed.  They had traveled so far and were now going backwards.</p><p>Their ship made a stop in the fishing town of Sanditon.  The mice knew they didn't want to go on to London so they decided to disembark and rethink their plan.  But on arriving into Sanditon they found it surprisingly agreeable.  It felt comfortable yet invigorating.  The town was vibrant yet peaceful.  It was there that the mice realized that in the end, as long as they were together then they were already in the perfect place.  So they settled in a snug home on the edge of the dunes where every day they could look out on the sea and remember all the voyages and adventures that brought them together and made them home to one another.</p><p>The children clapped and Charlotte, who had been sitting on the floor next to Sidney's chair looked up at him adoringly.  He returned her look and reached out and gently caressed her cheek.</p><p>Mr Heywood cleared his throat and Sidney's hand automatically dropped away.  He addressed the room.  "Your mother and I have discussed it.  We will all be going to Sanditon in one week's time so that we may have time to take in this sea air we have heard so much about before celebrating Charlotte's wedding."  The children all started talking at once excitedly.  Allison and Charlotte immediately looked across the room at one another, both of their eyes wide in the surprise of their father's announcement.  They had never traveled as a whole family and certainly not for a vacation of sorts.  They smiled widely at each other and Allison's eyes began to tear knowing that it was final, this was the end of their childhood together.  She knew it had been coming but now this was it, one more week to have Charlotte as her best friend, confidant and roommate here in their family home.  In two weeks Charlotte would have Sidney to fulfill those roles.  She mouthed at Charlotte, "I'm so happy for you." just before a tear spilled over onto her cheek.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney had stayed with the Heywood's for the night but then returned to Sanditon the following day to attend to more work.  He was still desperately trying to get ahead so he would have more leisure once Charlotte arrived.  He travelled back to Willingden a week later with his carriage and Tom's.  The Heywoods had their own as well and William rode on horseback.  It was still a crowded caravan to Sanditon but it was a very happy one for everyone.</p><p>The Parker's had reserved the largest cottage for the Heywoods.  Allison and Charlotte would stay at Trafalgar House.  William and Jack were invited to stay at Denham Place with Sidney.  </p><p>Sidney had been embarrassed and a little nervous to tell Charlotte that Denham Place would be their home for now.  He had never expected to bring a bride home to a rented house after the success he'd had over the years but now there simply wasn't money to spend on a home, especially the kind of property he would want for Charlotte.</p><p>"I do not mind, truly.  I will be with you." She insisted, ever reasonable.  Her earnestness, her sweetness, she was more than he ever thought he could possibly be worthy of.</p><p>He still felt he needed to justify his choice.  "Lady Denham is giving us a very reasonable price for the rent, considering how displeased she is with us.  The house is a little strange but I'm sure it was quite handsome in it's day.   And the grounds certainly allow for the space and privacy that I think we are both after." </p><p>"Did we not already learn from our mice that home is where we are together?" Charlotte smiled up at him and then blushed and dropped her voice a bit, "Also space and privacy sound quite perfect."</p><p>"They do don't they?" Sidney responded quietly as he inched closer to her, his hands moving posessively to her waist.  They were in the drawing room at Trafalgar Square.  Her parents and siblings had been dropped off at the cottage, except for Allison who was upstairs settling into their shared room.  Sidney and Charlotte had ridden side by side in the carriage all morning.  The feeling of their thighs pressed together after months apart was almost exquisite torture in a carriage full of curious children.  In the midst of the noise and excitement Charlotte had teased Sidney with surreptitious touches to his hand, his knee, a quick tickling finger to his side at one point.  She was used to the chaos of her siblings and knew how to use it to her advantage.</p><p>But now in the dim and quiet drawing room, truly alone for the first time since he proposed, the tension of a morning of stolen touches was reaching its breaking point.  Charlotte could feel her heartbeat quicken, could feel that warm building sensation deep within her.  The way he looked at her, his dark eyes, those lips.  She had been living on the memory of him for months and now he was before her, even more tempting than she remembered.  She placed her hands at the base of his ribcage and pushed them slowly up his chest and onto his shoulders.  He watched her face as her hands traveled on their deliberate path, noticed the change in her demeanor, savored the pressure she applied, the way his skin tingled in her wake.  Suddenly a week seemed too long.  He pulled her in quickly and kissed her hard.  His arms wrapped around her, holding her to him as if to never let go.  Her stomach flipped and she moaned softly into his mouth, melting into him.    </p><p>"Charlotte?  Charlotte?"  </p><p>"Damnit." Sidney muttered, stepping back as Diana's footsteps came down the hall.  She came into the room.  "Charlotte, dear, are you sure you and Allison want to share the room?  Arthur and my apartment is close enough to completion that we could quite happily stay there for the week and free up more space here."</p><p>"Oh no, really.  I think we are looking forward to spending this week together.  We've always shared a room after all." Charlotte said reassuringly but finding it difficult to look Diana in the eye.</p><p>"Really, it would be no bother."</p><p>Sidney paced the room in the background.  He cleared his throat.  "Diana, could you perhaps give Charlotte and I a moment?"</p><p>Diana looked between Charlotte and Sidney, now noticing his agitation, her crimson cheeks.  She shook her head a little, realizing she had probably interrupted something between the two lovers.  "Oh, oh.  Of course." She said embarrassedly as she turned to step out.</p><p>"Oh Charlotte!  That view from our window is just so divine.  I feel I could just stare at it all day."  Allison exclaimed sweeping into the room.</p><p>"Oh good, Allison, I was just confirming with Charlotte.  Are you sure you are comfortable sharing a room?" Diana launched back into her same offer, immediately forgetting that she had been on her way out.</p><p>Sidney rolled his eyes and looked across the room at Charlotte who smiled smally at him.  He sighed heavily and dropped into a chair defeated.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter 30</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney was really regretting not simply marrying Charlotte the moment they all arrived in Sanditon.  His relationship with her family was coming along quite nicely.  He felt relatively comfortable in Mr and Mrs Heywood's presence.  And he was enjoying hosting and getting to know William and Jack.  They were mild mannered and easy going, game for just about anything, like Charlotte.  He, Tom and Arthur took them sea bathing.  The boys were also quite keen to fish the portion of the river that bordered the Denham Place property.  They were shocked that Sidney didn’t know how to fish and insisted on teaching him, proclaiming it would be a sin to have access to such good fishing without taking advantage of it.</p><p>But in the end, after months apart, he just wanted Charlotte.  He wanted to have her to himself, without any responsibilities to anyone else.  He kept trying to find private moments with her but they were always surrounded by people.  The closest he came to achieving it was one morning when they were all out for a beach walk.  He and Charlotte had slowed their walking to drop behind the group.  As they got closer to the rocky cove section of the beach he started scanning for a good hideout.</p><p>“Ah, Charlotte, look at this fascinating tide pool.  Come, let us explore it.” he said leading her inland towards the base of the cliffs.  </p><p>She smiled mischievously, clearly of the same mind.  “Oh yes, I would be most interested in that.”</p><p>They crouched down next to the tide pool, tucked behind a large rock.  “How lovely” Charlotte said breathlessly looking directly at Sidney rather than the shallow water.  She leaned forward and kissed him, almost knocking him backwards on his heels.  They giggled and he grabbed her shoulders, leaning them both against the rock for stability.</p><p>“Oh Charlotte, Charlotte.” he sighed, peppering her face with kisses before landing back on her lips.  They kissed against the warm rock.  There was so much they wanted to say to each other but knowing their time was brief, words were hardly their priority.   Charlotte's hand lingered on his bicep which she had grabbed for balance as she teetered on the balls of her feet.  Now stable she marveled at the feel of the hard muscle under her hand.  Her mind flashed to the day at the cove, so close to where they were now, the way his arms had looked bare.  Soon his arms would be a familiar place for her.  The thought led her to deepen the kiss, to open her mouth to him.  His hand clasped the back of her head.  </p><p>"I think they're over here!" Anne's voice came ringing out, much too close.</p><p>"Noooo." Sidney groaned as they broke away, leaning his head dejectedly on the rock.  Charlotte glanced around and saw Anne and Sammy running their way.  Rebecca was walking along behind them, obviously responsible for the younger ones.  </p><p>"There are simply far too many of you all!" Sidney cried exasperated.</p><p>Charlotte quickly kissed his cheek and then pushed him playfully causing him to topple out of his crouched position.</p><p>"Look Anne, Sammy; there are fish eggs in here." She pointed to the tide pool.  She turned back to Sidney and extended her hand to help him up.  </p><p>"Are there eggs in there?" He asked, dusting the sand off of his pants.</p><p>She shrugged.  "Perhaps.  Surely they will tell me if there are not."  He chuckled and they walked away from the pool.  "How did you keep everyone straight when you were writing to us anyway?  You addressed each of us over the course of your letters.  It was most impressive."</p><p>Sidney nodded.  "Yes, well admittedly, it was a joint effort.  After you left I had to sit with Mary and Tom and Georgiana to write down a list of all of your siblings' names.  We almost completely forgot Betsey."</p><p>Charlotte grinned.  "I will never tell."</p><p>"No, please don't." He shot her a quick smile.  "As for the rest of it, some things I remembered from your stories or my brief visit to Willingden, like William had a strong interest in horses or Rebecca enjoyed the piano, but truly, in the interest of transparency, a lot of it was just guessing."</p><p>"A gamble that paid off quite well."  Charlotte said lightly but already terribly missing his kiss, his arms.</p><p>"Sidney!  Charlotte!  A question!" Tom called from ahead, motioning them forward.  </p><p>"Well back we go." Sidney said and they trudged back towards the group.</p><p> </p><p>The week was quite lovely though.  The weather was mostly warm but with cool breezes and thankfully everyone seemed to get along well.  Even Mr Heywood seemed fairly comfortable away from home.  The Heywood children loved splashing at the edge of the water and were thrilled by the new cricket area.  Several games were played with both families.  Charlotte was even able to get Georgiana to bat once.  </p><p>Beatrice and Stephen and their boys arrived on Wednesday much to Charlotte’s surprise.  “I can’t believe you traveled all the way here for our wedding!”</p><p>Beatrice smiled and shook her head.  “Well after all of the sleepless nights I’ve had worrying about you it seemed fitting to come and celebrate that I can now sleep soundly again.”  She dropped her voice conspiratorially, “Although I believe the sleepless nights will now transfer your way, albeit in a more pleasant manner.”</p><p>Charlotte’s eyes widened in surprise and she burst out laughing.  “Aunt Beatrice!”</p><p>“Well, soon we will be a couple of married ladies, no need to be overly demur.  And I said from the start, he is a quite handsome man.”  she replied, raising her eyebrows.  Charlotte was immensely relieved to see that they would be able to resume their easy relationship, that her actions hadn't caused permanent damage to her aunt's opinion of her.</p><p> </p><p>On Thursday they all met at Trafalgar House for tea, the Parker's, the Heywood's, the London Heywood's.  It was a massive crowd.  The younger children all went up to the nursery with some of the older children helping the poor nanny to supervise.  The adults and four oldest children settled into the sitting room.  </p><p>As the conversation began to flow evenly between all of the parties present, Charlotte moved away from the group to the window at the far end of the room.  She was so grateful that everyone was here to celebrate her and Sidney but she felt tired and guilty for wishing that it would all be over already.  Sidney followed her cue and moved across the room to her side.  He tried to give her space, knowing her family was probably taking note but couldn’t resist slowly running his finger down her bare forearm, just for the sake of touching her, claiming her.  “It seems we will not be so lucky as to have a moment together before Saturday.”</p><p>Charlotte looked up at him and gave him a small smile.  “No, I don’t believe we will.  I suppose we can be satisfied knowing we will have much time after Saturday.”  She looked out the window as she said the last part blushing.</p><p>“Yes of course.  Of course.  I very much look forward to it.” he said meaningfully.  She blushed deeper and looked down.</p><p>He smiled at her downturned head.  His fiery Charlotte was suddenly seeming shy.  He couldn’t tell if it was because there were others in the room or if she had anxiety about the marriage, about being alone with him.  “You know I will take care of you right?  That your needs, your trust will be paramount when we are together.”  He whispered.</p><p>Still looking down she reached out and softly took one of his hands.  She let her fingers linger on his, tracing them, exploring them, caressing them.  He loved how she absentmindedly played with his hands.  It was amazing how such a simple act could stir him so deeply.  How this soft touch could feel so electric.  He imagined what it would feel like to have her fingertip trace along the rest of his bare skin.  He felt himself blushing, growing warm at the thought. “I know.  I trust you.  Fully.” she said quietly back.   She lifted her eyes to his and they both had to immediately look away again.  The implications of their conversation, the thoughts and feelings it brought to mind, it was too much for this room full of people. </p><p>Sidney cleared his throat and shifted his feet.  “Uh, we also have to right the matter of the ring.” he said a little uncomfortably.  “I could hardly allow you to retrieve the ring from your pocket at the altar instead of me.”</p><p>“Oh, of course.”  she quickly reached up and pulled a chain from around her neck, the ring rising from her bosom.  She unclasped the chain and handed Sidney the ring.  It was warm from her body and he closed it tightly in his fist for a moment as if he was trying to transfer the warmth of her own body into his.  He felt he was losing himself, that simply being this close to her in this very relative privacy was unraveling him.  “Thank you.  Um, it was my mother’s ring you know.” he said trying to pull himself together.  </p><p>“Was it?  It’s so lovely.  I’ll be anxious to have it back, to be able to wear it properly.”</p><p>“Yes.  I will be anxious for that too.  She would have really loved you, you know, my mother.  She always said I’d need a wife that could keep me in line.” he said with a sentimental grin, rolling the delicate ring between his fingers.  “She passed after Tom and Mary married so the ring was left to me.  Yes, she would have approved very much." </p><p>Charlotte could see that he was getting emotional and was moved.  She had heard stories of Mrs Parker over her time with the family but never in an intimate conversation with Sidney.  She reached up and stroked his cheek.  "I will be so honored to wear it."</p><p>He took her hand and kissed her palm lovingly.  He glanced up and quickly looked back down again, unnerved.  "Your father is looking at us." he said quietly out of the side of his mouth.</p><p>"Oh who cares?  What is he going to do, force us to marry a day early?"  She rolled her eyes and they both snickered.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Chapter 31</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was finally Friday, the day before the wedding and Charlotte felt so relieved that soon this busy week would be over.  The afternoon was surprisingly hot, so much so that most of her family had retired after lunch for naps or to simply enjoy the indoors after a morning out in the sun.  She and Sidney had lunched together with the families and then said their goodbyes until tomorrow.  She couldn't believe the next time she would see him would be at the altar.  She walked through the streets of Sanditon taking it all in, trying to memorize this moment on the cusp of her married life. </p><p>“Charlotte!”  She looked up surprised by his voice.   Sidney was walking towards her, so much for their sentimental last goodbye.  “Well met, my dear, well met.” he said enthusiastically, kissing her hand.  They locked eyes and then he scanned the area, noticing she was not accompanied by anyone.  “And where are you off to all on your lonesome?” he added suddenly more serious, more intrigued. </p><p>"I stole away.  I am planning on going for a swim.  I believe the bathing machines are running."  She kept her hand grasped to his and looked up at him acutely aware of all of the people out in the street.  She finally had a moment with Sidney and no family members present and yet they were still surrounded by people.</p><p>"That sounds quite nice.  Perhaps I will join you."</p><p>Charlotte lowered one eyebrow and looked at him.  "Well you cannot join me…I will be swimming in the women's section clearly." She said amused but confused.</p><p>"Yes, of course you will.  How foolish of me.  Well no matter.  Have a lovely swim Miss Heywood.  See you tomorrow my bride." He grinned, kissed her hand again and walked off.  Charlotte furrowed her brow, smiling and shaking her head at this now casual prenuptial goodbye.  </p><p>She enjoyed the walk to the beach.  The sun was so bright and she embraced the summer feeling of sweat beginning to bead under her clothing.  She knew that although the air was hot the water would be frigid but she felt like a swim the day before her wedding seemed like a lovely ritual to make for herself, a cleansing, a new beginning.  </p><p>The beach itself was fairly crowded for May.  The warm weather had brought people out of doors seeking sea breezes.  She didn't see anyone swimming but the men's tents were set up and there were a couple bathing machines with horses hitched to them so it was available for those that had the nerve.  She stood enjoying the sun for a few more minutes, building the courage to get into the machine, to face the cold water.  She took in the beautiful cliffs in the distance, the waves lapping on the beach.  She couldn't believe that she had arrived at this point, that as of tomorrow Sanditon would be her home and Sidney her husband.  It was all too good to believe.  She smiled happily to herself and then set resolutely towards the bathing machines.</p><p> </p><p>She had only been in the water briefly when she heard the rhythmic splashing of another swimmer.  She looked around and noticed a man swimming toward them.  Did he not realize he was getting a little too close?  </p><p>"Sir!  Sir!  There is a lady present!" the bathing attendant called out.  </p><p>The man stopped swimming and paddled in place.  It was Sidney.  He looked over and grinned.  "It is alright.  She is my wife."  The bathing attendant looked quizzically at Charlotte.  </p><p>She was floored by his utter impropriety.  Was he really going to try to come over here with nothing on?  She should obviously put him off but found herself saying instead, "Yes, it is true." trying to keep a straight face but a smile breaking through. </p><p>"Well sir I'm sorry it's still not proper for you to be so close.  There could be other lady bathers in the area."</p><p>Sidney looked around.  He had been slowly coming towards them and was now standing 25 feet away, the water to his chest.  "But there are not any other bathers in the area so surely it is fine.  I can assure you my wife will be quite safe in the water with me if you leave your post briefly.  It will be only a moment."</p><p>The woman was flustered and looked quickly from Charlotte to Sidney and back again.  But Sidney was very slowly moving forward and she had no choice but to remove herself from his presence.  </p><p>He smirked at Charlotte as the woman waded away in a huff.  "I told you I'd join you."</p><p>"You put that woman in a very uncomfortable position.  That was hardly kind." she said, embarrassed for the poor attendant.</p><p>"You are right.  I will apologize." he said simply and then slipped under the water.  Charlotte looked around for a sign of him and then she felt his hands on her hips and he broke to the surface just before her.  He shook the water out of his face and picked her up, her body floating easily in his arms.  He backed her up close to the bathing machine, blocked from the view of the beach.  The boyish grin was gone and now his face was one of need, desire.  "God Charlotte, I have been dying to have a moment alone with you." She was about to respond with a clever retort but she didn't have a chance.  His lips were instantly on hers, hungrily.  The taste of the salt on each other's lips mingled with the sweetness of their tongues.  Charlotte couldn't believe he was here, nude holding her in the water.  Her hands cautiously roamed over Sidney's shoulders, his bare back.  She wanted to touch him everywhere but was suddenly feeling a little shy, overwhelmed by his complete state of undress.</p><p>The longing of the last few months had built up in Sidney to a point where now he could hardly control himself.  Once the opportunity of being in the water with her had presented itself he could simply not resist it.  He had teased her months ago about ambushing him but now he had very clearly ambushed her.  His careful self restraint was depleted.  Honor seemed irrelevant with their wedding day only hours away.  Yet he was still aware he was far beyond the point of decency and pulled back briefly, "Am I too forward?  Is this alright?"</p><p>"Oh you are much too forward and yet I am also very alright." She said surging back to his lips, gripping his arms.</p><p>His hands quickly traveled Charlotte's torso; her shoulders, her waist, her hips.  They then crept up her stomach to cup both of her breasts.  Now free from her stays he could feel their natural shape, their size, their weight.  The wet fabric of the bathing gown clutched tightly to them, her nipples standing out clearly from the cold water.  He ran his fingers around them, over them, pinched them gently as Charlotte squirmed in pleasure wrapping one of her legs around him to anchor herself firmly to him.  The waves pushed and pulled them along together, the current flowing in the small spaces between their conjoined bodies.  Sidney reached down and grabbed the back of Charlotte's thighs lifting her legs up to wrap fully around his hips.  Still kissing passionately he found the bottom hem of the gown and slipped his hands under it, running them up and down her thighs.  The feeling of his hands on her bare skin and hers on his was almost too wonderful to take but Sidney could feel Charlotte's goosebumps and knew they should both get out of the cold water very soon.  </p><p>He clutched her closer to him, his hands pressing on her back, and pulled his lips from hers, his breathing ragged.  He kissed the crook of her neck and nuzzled into it.  "Tomorrow" he said low and deep "we will belong to each other, fully.  I have never been so ready for anything in my life"  He stroked the curve of her bottom and kissed her sweetly.  "But for now, I will call your attendant back because I can't allow my wife to catch pneumonia." </p><p>"No, stay." she exhaled, clutching him tightly with her legs.</p><p>His eyes darkened with lust at her plea and he kissed her again and then again, also not ready to relinquish this moment.  Finally he sighed.  "No.  Into the bathing machine with you."  He helped hoist her onto the ladder and she climbed up.  "Until tomorrow Charlotte."  She nodded, still in a stunned, but blissful daze by his appearance, his forwardness, the memory of his touch on such private areas of her skin.  This would be the last time she would see Sidney before meeting him at the altar?  She laughed to herself.  It was hardly the sweet and innocent farewell she had expected but it certainly made her eager for tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>As she walked back to Trafalgar House she heard Georgiana call her name.  "Charlotte!" She rushed to catch up with her.  "You will not believe it!  I just heard the most scandalous news!". She stopped short as she noticed Charlotte's wet hair.  </p><p>Charlotte looked at her waiting for more.  "And?  What is it?"</p><p>Georgiana opened her mouth to speak and let it hang open for a pause.  "I heard that someone saw a man swim into the women's section on the beach."  She cocked one eyebrow deliberately and sucked on her cheek.  She threw her head in the direction of Trafalgar House.  "Go get into the house before someone sees you.  The depravity of it all!  Thank God you're getting married tomorrow before you two can get in any more trouble.  You and my blessed guardian!  For goodness sake!"  She scolded whispering, shoving Charlotte along and shaking her head laughing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sidney met with Crowe and Babington at the Crown for drinks that evening, his last night as a bachelor.  </p><p>“It seems a strange coincidence that every time I see you now you are surprising me with a new fiance.” Crowe said lacksadaisically into his drink.  “I don’t want to come across overly sensitive but it seems you don’t find me to be much of a confidant.”</p><p>Sidney chuckled ruefully.  “Look Crowe, it’s nothing personal.  It is just that we couldn’t have the news spreading through London.  Frankly, I’m still hoping it doesn’t spread right away.”</p><p>“Well you didn’t have qualms about telling Babington here.”</p><p>“I’m generally sober enough to be trusted.”  Babington joked, trying to laugh off the truth of his answer and how it reflected on Crowe.  </p><p>Crowe simply tilted his head and raised his glass in assent.  “But for God's sake, what could Mrs Campion do at this point anyway?  She already took her money.”</p><p>“Clearly, I don’t want her to have any reason to speak poorly of Charlotte.  She does not deserve such treatment.  In addition, we’re just at the start of a very pivotal season, we can hardly manage having Mrs Campion defaming Sanditon and discouraging visitors.  She could certainly cause real damage with her sphere of influence.  This is our final chance.” said Sidney and he swallowed back a drink.</p><p>Crowe glanced at him and then reached to refill their glasses.  “Seems perhaps it would have made more sense to hold the wedding at the end of the summer in that case.” he said cautiously.</p><p>Babington tried not to smile as he also glanced at Sidney.  Leave it to Crowe to always get straight to the point.  Obviously as an investor he had thought the same thing.  He and Esther had discussed it at length.  It was a big risk to take after all of the work and money they had already put into this.  But having known Sidney for years he knew that when he had his heart set on something he rarely had the patience to wait for it and it was never worth trying to talk him out of it.  Sidney said nothing as he made himself busy lighting a cigarette, looking around the Crown as if he hasn't heard Crowe at all.</p><p>Crowe broke the silence.  “Speaking of impulsive decisions.  You know I heard rumor that there was a man swimming in the women’s bathing section today.  Perhaps Sanditon is going to be more interesting this season after all." He paused for a beat and then asked casually,  "Did you not say you went swimming as well this afternoon Sidney?”</p><p>Sidney sucked on his cigarette and nodded his head.  He exhaled looking disinterestedly at his cigarette holder.  “It was damn cold.”</p><p>Crowe and Babington exchanged a look.  Crowe smiled slowly into his drink.  "How fascinating."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Did you really think we'd make it to the wedding without one more illicit encounter?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Chapter 32</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My dear readers, by request,</p><p>You are cordially invited...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte’s wedding dress had been commissioned and sent by Lady Susan.  She had told Sidney to tell Charlotte right away that she would take care of it.  Charlotte had been a bit concerned at first.  She thought back to all of the gorgeous gowns Susan had her try on for the Harvest Ball.  They were lovely and fitting for that occasion but Susan's taste was generally more extravagant and elegant than her own.  She wanted to feel like herself on her wedding day.</p><p>When it arrived earlier that week however, she felt foolish for doubting her.  Susan truly knew her well.  The dress was lovely and beautifully made but simple; all white, layers of filmy, transparent muslin and delicate, subtle lace around the scooped neckline, the waist, the bottom hem.  It was short sleeved but she also sent a white spencer with rose colored velvet trim and buttons.  </p><p>"Oh my Charlotte!  You look like an angel!" Allison exclaimed as they finished dressing her.  Her hair was pulled up loosely and Rebecca had gone out to pick some small white sprays of flowers to tuck into the back.  </p><p>Even practical Mrs Heywood couldn't help the tears that were building.  She hugged Charlotte tightly.  "My baby, my sweet Charlotte.  Oh I wish you a lifetime of happiness my love, a lifetime."  She kissed her forehead and they linked arms and walked down to the waiting carriage.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney stood at the altar waiting.  He was dressed in light pants and a gray vest, his characteristic black jacket.  He looked confident but felt waves of nerves and excitement constantly washing over him.  He glanced back at his siblings and Mary, all four of them giving him immediate gleeful looks.  He grinned and shook his head slightly, the Parkers.  He watched as all of Charlotte’s sisters walked up the aisle, each of them giving him a shy smile.  Georgiana sauntered up next and raised her eyebrows at him, giving him a big knowing grin.  He chuckled to himself.  A year ago he would have never imagined that spoiled Georgiana and the exasperating Miss Heywood would be the two most important people in his life, the people that understood him best.</p><p>Then she appeared at the back of the church and suddenly time stood still.  Charlotte.  His bride.  His eyes brimmed with tears and he had to breathe deeply and slowly to hold himself together.  The aisle of the little church suddenly seemed to be endless.  As she finally arrived he forced his eyes to Mr Heywood.  He nodded seriously and shook his hand firmly.  He turned back to Charlotte, swallowed hard and offered her his arm.  He wanted to say something to her but he was completely speechless.  She was so beautiful, her eyes turned up to him, her face reading the same awe as his.  Charlotte.  His bride.</p><p>When they emerged from the church as Mr and Mrs Parker they were absolutely giddy with joy.  Sidney swept Charlotte into his arms at the top of the steps and kissed her just long enough to border on indecency and when they broke apart he couldn't help but immediately pull her back in for another.</p><p> </p><p>The wedding breakfast was taking place on Sanditon’s new boardwalk.  James Stringer had done a beautiful job designing it.  The ornate white posts and lacey decorative cornices were topped by a shining metal roof.  Georgiana and the Parker siblings had planned the whole breakfast for Sidney and Charlotte.  Bouquets of flowers and ribbons had been affixed to the posts in the large central gazebo, flags hung in the rafters, dancing in the sea breeze.  The center was left open for mingling and the boardwalk branching off in either direction had tables and chairs set up for casual dining.  </p><p>Tom had been disappointed that the wedding would be taking place so quietly.  Sidney had arranged that Terrace apartments would not be open until late May specifically with this in mind.  He did not want the London elite encroaching on his wedding in any way, did not want him and Charlotte to become a spectacle.  He wanted their wedding to be purely their own.  But Tom wished they could show off the perfection of the boardwalk for private events.  Georgiana worked hard to make sure Sidney heard nothing of this and had to promise over and over that the summer events would be just as lovely and they could advertise that the boardwalk was available for weddings once the season truly started.  He was reluctantly pacified.</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte and Sidney arrived at the gazebo and Mr and Mrs Heywood immediately stepped forward to greet them.  After squeezing Charlotte in an emotional hug Mr Heywood turned to her new husband and placed his hand on his shoulder.  “I told you back in December that I would apologize if I was in the wrong.  Now, frankly I stand by my decision to promptly bring her home.” he said, giving Sidney a reproachful look, partially playful, but only because Charlotte was now safely married.  “But I was wrong about you Sidney.  It’s clear that this marriage, that you, are what will surely make Charlotte happiest.  Take care of her please.”</p><p>Sidney shook his hand, “Always, sir.”</p><p>It was a busy and happy couple of hours.  They hadn’t invited many people but obviously with the size of their families, and close friends and the open nature of the reception it was constant conversation and merriment for Charlotte and Sidney, perhaps with the exception of one guest.</p><p>“Well you did it, didn’t you?  Both of you.”  Lady Denham greeted them haughtily.  She looked them over appraisingly.  “You look quite pretty dear” she said simply to Charlotte.  "Well, what’s done is done.  I wish you much prosperity, for my sake as much as yours.” she finished the second half under her breath but clearly meaning to be heard.</p><p>“Thank you Lady Denham.” Charlotte replied politely.  Sidney raised one corner of his mouth in what could be construed a smile under a generous definition and then he nodded and steered Charlotte away by the elbow.  </p><p>“Oh, won’t it be lovely being her neighbor, her tenant for that matter?” he grumbled.  </p><p>Charlotte shrugged.  “She’s not all that bad.  I’m not afraid of her anyway.”</p><p>“Ah, my fearless wife.” he replied.</p><p>Just then a carriage pulled up on the street.  “Susan!”  Charlotte exclaimed in shock as she saw her friend alight.  “Whatever are you doing here?  What a wonderful surprise!”</p><p>“How could I miss your wedding after all of the breathless anticipation of the last year?  I simply had to see it through.” she smiled as she took Charlotte’s hands in her own.  “Congratulations dear.  I wish you only the very best.”  She turned to Sidney.  “Our happy groom!  Oh Charlotte if you could have seen how your husband toiled this winter for you.  Congratulations Sidney!  Now I know you felt strongly about no London society but I just could not stay away.  I came down last night and didn’t tell a soul where I was headed.  I left word with my butler to tell any callers I am in bed with a cold.  I will be back in town before they ever even suspect I am gone and will not tell a soul that the elusive Sidney Parker is now married.”  She smiled conspiratorially.</p><p>“Susan, I hope you’ll beg my pardon, but I don’t consider you London society at all.  You are simply a dear friend to my wife and me.”  Sidney said warmly, taking her hands.  Charlotte watched, amused.  She had clearly missed the blossoming of this relationship over the winter but she was anxious to see them in each other's company over the summer.</p><p>“Susan, I cannot thank you enough for my gown.  It’s gorgeous.  How will we ever repay you for everything you have done for us?  Just imagine, if you had not invited me to the Harvest Ball we might not even be standing here today.  You have been so good to us.”  Charlotte said heartfeltly.  Sidney wrapped his arm around her waist as she spoke, his fingers gently rubbing her side.</p><p>“Oh for heaven’s sake, acts of friendship are hardly something to be measured and repaid my dear girl!   Believe me when I tell you that your company, Charlotte, is reward enough and through you I have also gained the joys of knowing Mr Parker and Ms Lambe.  Now we shall all have a jolly time this summer.  I will be making my first visit in mid June.  Perhaps by then you will be willing to accept the company of those outside of your marriage.”  She looked pointedly at Sidney’s hand on Charlotte’s waist.  “Perhaps.  Now, I must greet my darling Georgiana.”  </p><p> </p><p>Sidney had been enthusiastically talking with the Babingtons and Crowe when Charlotte stepped aside for a bit.  She had always appreciated and admired Lord Babington.  She felt he was a very kind and respectful man but she found still conversing with Esther a bit difficult.  And Mr Crowe had been looking at her in a manner that made her feel embarrassed and a little uncomfortable.  She had walked to get herself a glass of champagne when she saw James approaching.  “Mr Stringer!” Charlotte exclaimed, truly happy to see him.  “I have barely seen you in the last week!”</p><p>He smiled, the happiness struggling to reach his eyes as he looked her over in her wedding finery.  He inhaled.  “Congratulations Mrs. Parker.”  He pressed her hand.  “Yes, I’m sorry I’ve missed you.  We were quite busy with some finishing work here and then the last few days I was visiting a cousin outside of town.”  </p><p>He had intended to stay away from Sanditon for a couple weeks, his heart still recovering from all of his losses over the past year.  He had no interest in seeing Charlotte celebrating her marriage to Sidney on his boardwalk, his first architectural creation.  However, once he was away he realized that by not celebrating Charlotte’s happiness he was selfishly robbing them of their friendship, making their relationship only about his own feelings and not the camaraderie and kindness she had shown him in true affection.  But now before her his righteousness was faltering.  They stood quietly for a moment.</p><p>“I...I love your design for the boardwalk.  It is so grand.  Truly.”</p><p>“Thank you Miss."  He looked around, as if seeing it for the first time, seeing it through her eyes.  He hesitated and rubbed his chin, looking down.  "If you don’t mind, I’d like to show you something.”  He led her out of the gazebo and down the boardwalk a short length.  “Look here” he pointed.  “I had one of my men carve it in,  Eventually this rose bush will cover it, making it a bit of a secret for you to share.”  She looked around to the outside of the post and there she saw “The Parkers” carved with their wedding date carved underneath.</p><p>“Oh Mr Stringer!  How kind.  Thank you.” she took his hand clearly touched.  He felt lighter seeing her reaction.  He had wanted to do something special for her, and perhaps in doing so to force himself to accept her marriage.  “Would you mind meeting my family?  They’ve heard so much about you over the year.”</p><p>“I’d be honored.” he smiled a genuine smile, perhaps the first she had received from him since the night of the Midsummer Ball.  Relieved, she held his hand and led him to her father.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney came to her side as she stood with her family and Mr Stringer.  He put his hand on the small of her back and lightly kissed her temple.  "The carriage has arrived.  Though we can stay as long as you like of course." He whispered.  </p><p>She leaned slightly into him and closed her eyes for a brief moment, allowing herself a chance to smell him, to feel the warmth radiating from his body.  She looked up at him and then at all of the people assembled.  "I think I am ready.”</p><p> </p><p>She hugged Alison last, knowing she would miss her the most.  The carriage pulled away and Charlotte hung out the window, waving at her young siblings who ran along behind the carriage until they turned the corner.  She settled back into her seat with a small sigh.  </p><p>Sidney could see that she was emotional.  "Charlotte”. He put his hand on hers.</p><p>She turned to him and smiled a teary smile.  “I’m sorry.  I don’t know why I’m so overwrought.  I’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long.  Truly I am very happy.  I just.  It feels so final.  I suppose I’m a little overwhelmed.  And I’ve never run a household before.  We had very few servants in Willingden.  I’ve never had a ladies maid…”</p><p>He squeezed her hand reassuringly.  “We are starting a new life.  It is quite a big change.  Yet we are doing it together so we can do as we wish.  How about we start gradually?  We can greet the staff and then send them away.  It will just be you and I.  Does that sound more to your taste?”</p><p>His deep voice lulled her nerves and she smiled relieved.  “Yes, much better.  Thank you.”</p><p>They arrived and made their brief introductions and then Sidney asked for a bottle of wine to be sent up to the second floor drawing room and then discreetly told their butler that no staff was expected unless specifically rung for.  They adjourned to the drawing room and he poured them each a drink.  “To my wife.”</p><p>“To my husband.”  They smiled widely at each other and Charlotte giggled shyly as she took a sip, sitting down gingerly on the sofa.</p><p>He hesitated, cautious not to rush her after her high emotions in the carriage.  “So, uh, this will be our drawing room.  I don’t know about you Mrs Parker but it’s not precisely to my fancy.” he said wryly.</p><p>She chuckled.  “No, no I suppose I would not choose this for myself.” looking at the large almost nude figures that contrasted strongly against the black background.  “It is rather jarring, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Yes, I don’t think we can paint over the frescoes but I was thinking…” he walked over to the wall by the door gesturing,  “We could have rods hung along the edges of the ceiling and perhaps hang curtains or wall coverings to obscure it all.  Of course the ceiling is still very dark but actually these windows here are very nice.  Come, see.” he walked to the windows and extended his hand to her.  She smiled and rose from the sofa, delighted by his nervous eagerness, by how much thought he had already put into making this house their own.  “Look” he said, taking her hand, moving her before the window.  He pulled the curtain aside.  “The view of the reflecting pool is actually quite scenic.  If we removed the heavy drapes there would be so much sunshine.  As there is no traffic through the grounds we hardly need the windows so covered for privacy.”  His voice came softly from right behind her ear.</p><p>She looked out.  He was right.  She could certainly imagine sitting by this window reading, looking out over the trees, the pool.  He shifted directly behind her, wrapping his arms around her, his body pressed to her back, both of them framed in the window.  “What do you think?”</p><p>“Yes.” she sighed, leaning back into him, wrapping her arms over his.  Agreeing to it all, their home, their life, him.  She could feel his chest rising and falling.  She closed her eyes as his lips found her neck.  “Yes.”  His arms tightened further around her and he exhaled slowly onto her shoulder.  She was in his arms.  She was his.  They were home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Chapter 33</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If anyone told me in January that the world would spend the spring under house arrest and I would cope by writing fanfic that bordered on the explicit...</p><p>So obviously take that as a warning.  If you've been reading along and thinking, "This is nice, albeit a bit too risque at times."  Well, skip this chapter.  There's no plot development.  You won't miss anything.  We'll just meet you on the other side.</p><p>The rest of you, hope it brightens your Tuesday.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They stood before the window looking out on their new grounds.  Charlotte felt all at once utterly relaxed and yet on edge.  It felt marvelous and strange to have Sidney all to herself.  There was no one to keep them apart.  They now belonged to each other.  </p><p>He sighed deeply into her neck giving her goosebumps.  He reached his hand to gently turn her chin up and to the side.  They gazed at each other.  “Charlotte”  They kissed softly and her hand sought his that was resting on her waist.  She grasped his hand and squeezed it as their kiss deepened.  She pulled back and looked at him, her eyes hungry.  She turned her body into his embrace, now facing him, her back to the window.  She smiled seductively, biting her lip and pulled his head down with both hands kissing him hard.  Her forwardness woke the desperate want in him.  She was ready.  He surged forward and they fell against the window, one of his arms still wrapped fast around her waist, the other braced against the window frame.</p><p>“Oh Sidney.”  They were suddenly in the same position they had found themselves in the Bedford Hall study months ago, when he first told her he had left Eliza.  That same feeling of being exquisitely pinned by him.  This position, that night, had been her awakening, the memory of it haunting her all these months, leaving her agitated, breathless.  It had been her first time understanding what true desire felt like.   Again he began rolling his hips against hers, both of them ready for release to finally come from it all.  She moaned softly into his shoulder, her hands gripping his hips.  Without backing out of her hold he quickly took off his jacket.  He tossed it over to the sofa behind him and then unbuttoned her spencer and threw it likewise.  He immediately made for her full cleavage with his mouth, his hands. </p><p>Charlotte turned her face, pressing her cheek against the cool glass of the window.  Sandwiched between the warmth of the sun on her back and Sidney's body in front, she was absolutely melting in the most pleasant way.  He came back to her lips and they kissed passionately, Charlotte still pulling his hips more urgently to her own, needing him.  Sidney grabbed her thigh and hoisted her leg up around his waist, her skirt bunching well above her knee.  He thrust against her and she cried out.  He kept her upright, her other foot barely grazing the floor as he rocked back and forth.  "Oh God.  Oh Sidney." She gasped, clinging to him, the window rattling behind her with each push.</p><p>"We're going to break the window." he said gruffly, pulling her forwards.  They were both panting, momentarily snapped out of their ecstacy, both thinking how to move forward.</p><p>Charlotte hesitated, “Should I ring for the maid?  Get her help… undressing?”  She felt foolish being shy.  Her thigh was still in his hand after all, her skirt around her waist, his hardness still pressing intimately against her.</p><p>“Good God no.” he growled immediately.  She was taken aback.  "I would not allow anyone to rob me of that joy." He said softer.  He let her leg down and then swooped her whole body up in his arms and carried her down the hall to their room.</p><p> </p><p>Once in the bedroom he placed her sitting on the edge of the bed.  He kissed her quickly and then began unbuttoning his vest.  "Are you comfortable?" He asked, still catching his breath, peering down at her.</p><p>"Yes." </p><p>"Know that you are in control.  If at any point you want to stop please say so." He said earnestly, his face tender.</p><p>She reached out and helped him with the final button.  "I don't want to stop."  He couldn't help but grinning at her answer and very promptly took off his vest, untied his cravat and pulled his shirt over his head.  Charlotte got up on her knees and immediately began running her fingers over his torso, exploring, feeling.  They both watched her hands.  His body was so fine, so strong and firm.  "I have wondered what it would be like to touch you ever since that afternoon at the coves."  She said quietly, eyes still intent on his body.  </p><p>"I had some very similar thoughts." Sidney replied, his hands now eager to touch her in return.  He reached around to her back, blindly trying to find the end of her laces.  "I'm afraid I'm fairly helpless here." he said, climbing on to the bed behind her to get a better look.  </p><p>"It starts here." Charlotte said smiling, reaching to show him.  </p><p>"Ah, yes.  Thank you."  He kissed the back of her neck and got to work, first unlacing her gown and then her stays.  When both items were off he took a moment to hold her from behind, savoring her softness.  He then slid off of the bed and immediately removed his stockings and then hers.  He breathed in deeply and offered her his hands, pulling her up.  They stood facing each other, their passion growing again.  Charlotte reached out slowly and unbuttoned his pants.  She looked up at him wide eyed for just a moment and then pushed them down.  Sidney pulled them off all the way and stood before her.  </p><p>“Oh.” she breathed out slowly.  She tentatively took him in hand, softly running her hand up and down, around his hardness.  Sidney’s eyes closed as he groaned.  “It is bigger than I expected.” she said slowly.  “Is that quite wrong of me to say?”</p><p>He chuckled, “Oh no, that is quite alright.”  He took the hem of her chemise and looked at her.  She met his eyes and raised her arms as he pulled it over her head.  “Oh Charlotte.  Charlotte, you’re beautiful.”  His voice radiated adoration. She blushed.  They stood taking each other in for a moment and then Sidney could no longer hold himself back and he took her in his arms, kissing her, letting his hands truly roam everywhere, finally feeling Charlotte, her body, her skin, finally out of his dreams and in his arms.</p><p>The feeling of their bare bodies against each other was shockingly good and Charlotte felt more awake, more aroused than she ever had before.  She wanted to feel him everywhere, to be consumed with him.  </p><p>He picked her up and again and laid her on the bed, following.  "Open your legs." he whispered, taking his place between them.  His hand traveled down.  His fingers feeling her, pleasuring her, preparing her.  Charlotte lay back, helpless, astonished, breathing quickly.  Sidney bent his head down and licked her nipple.  She whimpered.  He smiled into her skin and did it again.  "Do you like that?"</p><p>"Mmhm."  She couldn't speak.  She was desperately focusing on every sensation, holding on to each moment.  He withdrew his fingers and she immediately felt his absence, lifting her hips subconsciously, looking to regain him.  </p><p>"May I?" his voice was barely audible, so breathless.</p><p>"Please."</p><p>He centered himself on her and slowly, just barely entered her.  He wanted to take things as slow as possible, to be as gentle as possible for her first time.  She gasped.  He moaned, his eyes closed.  He dipped in and out of her shallowly, deliberately.  They were both so deeply in the moment, in their focus.  They made eye contact and kissed briefly, keeping their faces touching afterwards, their breath releasing on each other's cheeks.  He held himself above her, controlled.  She ran her hands over his taut, muscled arms, admiringly.  She looked down, watched him teasing in and out, the most delicious torture.  </p><p>"More."</p><p>He watched her face as he began to push in further.  She quickly sucked in her breath and winced.  He stilled.  "Are you okay?"</p><p>She nodded stiffly.  She breathed deeply, concentrating on the pressure of having him inside her for a few moments.  She ran her hands up and down his back and soon found her hips reaching up for him again.  "Yes" he whispered, following her lead.  He slid further into her, achingly slow only stopping once he was fully in.  He felt absolutely dizzy with lust.  Her body hugged him so tightly.  To feel her, to be inside her was almost in itself enough to cause him to let go right then and there.  Again they looked at each other and he let his arms drop his body to hers, to lose some of his restraint.  They kissed sensually and found their hips moving in rhythm together.  It was incredible, everything they had so desperately needed.</p><p> </p><p>Afterwards they lay comfortably together, Sidney on his back, Charlotte's head on his chest, absentmindedly drawing patterns on each other's skin.  Now that they had satisfied their initial desire they were able to take time to gently get acquainted with each other's bodies.  They spoke quietly about the wedding, the house, fully at ease.</p><p>"I was afraid I would be more shy," Charlotte said, "but I don't really feel that way."</p><p>"I had no such concern."</p><p>"Well of course you didn't.  You are quite free with your body I think.  Any self respecting man would have remained in the water last year at the coves rather than exposing himself.  I think you must be quite pleased with yourself." she said mischievously.</p><p>Sidney laughed out.  He rolled onto his side, rolling her with him so that they were face to face.  "I meant I had little concern about you being shy after you practically assaulted me in the bathing machines this winter."</p><p>She blushed.  "Perhaps we are both guilty then."</p><p>"No, we are well suited." His hand caressed her breasts.  "I have been quite excited for these you know."  He murmured, running his fingers over them, between them.  Charlotte could feel her arousal building again.  He rolled one of her nipples between his fingers and she moaned, her leg hitching over his thigh.</p><p>"What..what time do we have to leave for Trafalgar House?" she asked, her voice catching.</p><p>"Why ever would we go to Trafalgar House?" He asked distractedly his hand still playing, his eyes firmly set on her breasts.</p><p>She squirmed and let out another moan as he swiped his thumb back and forth over her nipple.  "Tom and Mary.  They're hosting dinner for everyone."</p><p>"Ah, yes I told Tom that under no circumstances would we be there."</p><p>"Are we not expected?"</p><p>"Well not after I told him we weren't coming." He stopped his hand and looked at her face.  "Unless you want to." he added cautiously.</p><p>"Well I suppose I just felt obligated."</p><p>He nodded and waited.</p><p>She looked at him, naked in their bed and realized what she had been suggesting.  She raised her eyebrows slightly and grinned.  "I suppose now that I am married I am most obligated to my husband."</p><p>"Yes.  There you go."  He said smiling, pulling her in.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay readers, the ultimate test now.  Are you the hit it and quit it types?  😉</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Chapter 34</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh my goodness, thanks for the lovely response to the last chapter!  I loved reading all of your comments and I'm so pleased you all enjoyed it.  That chapter was much easier to write than the actual wedding.  ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Well, the two lovers have deigned to leave their home.  I wasn't sure we'd ever see the day."</p><p>Charlotte blushed and looked away.  Sidney cleared his throat as he sat down.  "Yes, well you invited us Georgiana.  And we have certainly seen you since the wedding.  I saw you two days ago at Trafalgar House and over the weekend on the boardwalk."</p><p>She smiled, "Yes, yes, of course.  I see you still can't take a teasing Sidney."  He rolled his eyes and shifted in his chair.  </p><p>"Georgiana, your apartment is just lovely!  Are you ever so happy?". Charlotte asked, as she walked the room, taking in the salmon colored walls, the ivory brocade curtains.  </p><p>"Oh yes, it is simply wonderful to have a home of my own!  I am quite happy.”</p><p>“And are you abiding by Mrs Griffiths and her rules?”  Sidney asked.</p><p>“Oh the gorgon!” Georgiana waved her hand flippantly.  “I mostly keep her locked in her room.”</p><p>“Georgiana, you know very well that you have this apartment very conditionally.  You will heed Mrs Griffiths or you will lose this privilege and we will rent out the apartment until you come of age next year.”  Sidney responded seriously.  </p><p>Georgiana shot him a tight, false smile and answered sarcastically.  “Yes, of course.  I live and breathe by Mrs Griffith’s commands.”</p><p>Charlotte looked between the two of them uncomfortably.  She thought back to Georgiana musing about Charlotte being her step guardian months ago.  She hadn't really thought it would be a serious concern at the time but now that she was privy to this conversation between them she saw that it could in fact be very complicated for the three of them.</p><p>She took a seat nearer to Georgiana than Sidney and immediately worked to change the subject, the mood.  “And what of Mr Reilly?  Has he been following you around still?  He must have danced with you half the night last weekend.”  But she noticed Sidney shifting again in his seat, his jaw tightening and realized this also wasn’t a comfortable topic of conversation for the two of them.  She turned to him, reaching across to touch his knee.  “Perhaps you should visit at Trafalgar House while Georgiana and I catch up.” she offered.</p><p>“Yes, perhaps that would be best, leave you two to chat.” he said rising.</p><p>“Oh wait.”  Georgiana said hopping up.  She walked over to the sideboard and picked up a large box.  “My wedding gift for you has finally arrived.  I ordered it ages ago, before you were even formally engaged but it is a rather difficult thing to come by in this silly, cold country.”  Sidney moved to sit beside Charlotte as Georgiana set the box in her lap.  Charlotte opened it and looked at Georgiana perplexed as she started pulling out a long, colorful piece of tightly woven fabric.  </p><p>“The colors are beautiful.” she said tentatively, her brows knitting together.</p><p>Sidney looked at it and then looked at Georgiana surprised, a spark of recognition in his eyes.  “Is it a hammock?” he asked, amused.</p><p>“Yes.” Georgiana answered, smiling, quite pleased.  She turned to Charlotte.  “You hang a hammock between two trees and then you can lie in it, like a sling.  They’re quite traditional in Antigua.  Sidney took to it so much that he had one hung in his bedroom.  Father used to call him ‘the native’ because of it.”</p><p>Sidney chuckled, fingering the fabric gently.  “You know, I had almost forgotten about that.” he said sentimentally.  “Thank you Georgiana.  This is very thoughtful of you.”  He stood and hugged her.  "Now I will take my leave and allow you to converse without my guardianship getting in the way."</p><p>“Thank goodness.” snorted Georgiana.</p><p> </p><p>After a very pleasant visit with Georgiana, in which Georgiana swore she had no interest in Mr Reilly’s pursuit and Charlotte stayed relatively mum about the details of her new marriage, Charlotte walked over to Trafalgar House to meet Sidney.  Mary greeted her as she entered the house.  “Oh Charlotte, how lovely.  I was so happy when Sidney said you would be coming by.  We really miss having you here.”</p><p>“I know.  I apologize, I have not been very visiting as frequently as I should.”</p><p>“Oh should!  No, please don’t apologize.  It wasn’t so long ago that I don’t remember the excitement of being a newlywed.  We are so pleased for you both.  We hold you to no visiting expectations.  Truly.”</p><p>Charlotte smiled back warmly, although slightly embarrassed.  She opened her mouth to speak but then both women turned their heads towards the study as they heard Tom and Sidney’s raised voices carrying down the hall.  Charlotte looked back at Mary questioningly.</p><p>“Lady D.” she said tiredly.  “You were not here earlier this spring when she found out that much of the plans being implemented this season were the work of Miss Lambe.  She has been in a right state since.  Now with the dedication of the boardwalk due to happen this weekend she is threatening to pull all of her funding before they even have their scheduled June review.”</p><p>“Oh no, I hadn’t realized.”</p><p>“No, well you’ve had happier things on your mind.  We did not want to bother you and Sidney with it too much but Tom and Arthur have not been able to sort it out quite yet.”</p><p>“I see.” said Charlotte, concern crossing her face, thinking.  She smiled and gave Mary a quick hug.  “I am going to go join them.  Please, let us have tea, just us, soon.”</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte stood in the doorway of the study.  Arthur sat watching as his two older brothers paced.</p><p>“I still cannot believe you kept me in the dark about this.  We met on Tuesday and you said nothing.”  Sidney scoffed.  He looked up to see Charlotte enter the room.  His eyes softened as they landed on her but showed his disappointment, his wish that they were simply back home, alone in Denham Place, away from the constant headaches of Sanditon development.  She looked back at him and smiled softly, commiserating silently.  She longed to cross the room and nestle herself into his side but even as a married couple that would hardly be decent.</p><p>“Miss Lambe was present at the meeting.  I felt I could hardly mention that we could be pulling her recognition simply because of Lady D’s jealousy.”</p><p>Sidney's attention turned back to Tom, his frustration awakening again.  “But you could have surely spoken to me privately afterwards!  What are we to do?  Tell Georgiana moments before the event that she will not be mentioned at all?  That is hardly fair after all she has done!”</p><p>“I understand that Sidney.  Truly!  I thoroughly appreciate Miss Lambe but she is a reasonable girl.  She will understand the delicacy of our situation.  She surely does not want to see Sanditon fail either and losing Lady Denham’s funding will surely send us to the poor house and put her out of her investment.”</p><p>“But it should not have come to this!  It should have been dealt with immediately.” Sidney was pacing again.  Charlotte stood uncomfortably, still in the doorway.</p><p>“Brothers, brothers, what’s done is done.  We must simply work together to find a solution now.”  Arthur said and then looked to Charlotte, “Charlotte, excuse our boorishness please.  How good to see you!  Welcome."  He patted the seat next to him, invitingly.  </p><p>Tom nodded at her.  “Yes, good day Charlotte.  I am sorry you are arriving at a rather tenuous moment.”  </p><p>“No bother, please.  May I be of any assistance?” she asked, taking the seat next to Arthur.</p><p>“Only if you can act as a lion tamer.” said Tom and then he started, looking to her hopefully.  “Charlotte, you have calmed Lady D in the past.  Do you think perhaps you could speak with her again?”</p><p>“Tom, you are suggesting that we throw my wife to the lion?” Sidney replied flabbergasted.</p><p>“I could certainly try to speak with her.” Charlotte replied to Tom and then looked directly at Sidney, one eyebrow arched slightly.  “I have been rather successful with taming lions since coming to Sanditon.”  Sidney’s eyes widened merrily.  </p><p>“Ain’t that the truth?!” Arthur snickered, borrowing Georgiana’s slang.  They had clearly spent quite a bit of time together over the last few months.</p><p>“Gentlemen, I am of the mind to return home.  We will send word of Charlotte’s meeting with Lady D.” Sidney said, offering his arm to his wife and they swept out of the room, eager to escape back home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, so originally the story was going to end with the proposal and then have a multi chapter epilogue that picked up around here.  I had envisioned these as longer chapters but since we're still in it to win it and fleshing things out more I think I'll keep them short like I've been doing up until now.  If you have a preference; more frequent, shorter chapters or longer but less frequent chapters let me know.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Chapter 35</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Monday all!  Thanks for all of the encouragement and feedback as always!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte gathered her courage outside the massive doors of Sanditon House.  She had only really seen Lady Denham in passing since the wedding two weeks ago now.  Lady Denham's greetings had been curt.  She seemed uninterested in rekindling any bit of the fondness, or more likely intrigue, that she may have held for Charlotte last summer.  Charlotte couldn't be completely surprised by this.  She had taken financial stability from Lady Denham when Sidney had left Mrs Campion for her.  And now, her dear friend Georgiana was taking recognition and honor from her as well.  She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply and then knocked.</p><p> </p><p>“The newly minted Mrs Parker, to what do I owe this delight?  Are you here to complain about your lodgings?” Lady Denham said sarcastically as Charlotte entered the cavernous receiving room.</p><p>“Oh no, Lady Denham, truly we are most happy at Denham Place.  We are very comfortable.”</p><p>Lady Denham looked down her nose at her and waited.</p><p>Charlotte hesitated.  “I am here because, well, I was hoping we could discuss the boardwalk dedication for tomorrow.”</p><p>“Of course you are.  Goodness, these Parker men hiding behind their women!  It is never ending!”</p><p>“I beg your pardon ma’am but I don’t think they hide behind us.  I think rather we are quite invested and active in the venture as well.  It is not simply under their ownership, their stewardship.”</p><p>“You would come to me speaking of your investment?  Your ownership?  Your stewardship?”  Lady Denham raised her voice and Charlotte braced herself, trying not to cower outwardly.</p><p>“I misspoke ma’am.  Clearly, you are the most financially invested owner.  I apologize.  I simply mean that we Parker women, and Miss Lambe of course, are also interested and actively working for the success of Sanditon, not simply doing the men’s bidding.”</p><p>Lady Denham grunted and shook her head, clearly annoyed by Charlotte and her ridiculously modern ways.  “It wasn’t at all like this before you arrived you know.  Mrs Mary Parker knew nothing of what went on.  A head full of fluff and children.”  Charlotte wanted to defend Mary but knew that she had too much already on her plate to risk adding more.  Lady Denham paced the room, her hands clasped behind her back.  Charlotte waited.  “Miss Lambe is being celebrated tomorrow.  I don’t have the figures before me because they have never been offered but I can imagine that her investment is not nearly as large as mine has been.  Tell me Charlotte, do you not think it rather strange that she is being singled out, celebrated?  Hmm?  The ward of Mr Sidney Parker.  She deserves the public recognition?”</p><p>“Oh, I…”</p><p>“And on top of that it was her idea.  The boardwalk.  The cricket matches.  The boathouse.  For heaven’s sake she decided on the fate of the Terrace.  Who is she?  The foreign born daughter of a slave suddenly making all of the decisions for the town which I sponsored from the very beginning?  I have been here far longer than your Mr Tom Parker.  I have supported this town and the people in it for decades Mrs Parker.  I will not be cast off!”  She stopped abruptly, still angry but instantly regretting that she spoke her greatest fear out loud.</p><p>“Surely ma'am, no one is trying to cast you off.”  Charlotte said earnestly.  Lady Denham scoffed and looked away.  “Indeed we all have the highest respect for you and know quite well that without you none of this would have ever been possible.  It is truly thanks to you.”</p><p>“And yet, there is no nod of ceremonial gratitude to me.” Lady Denham abhorred revealing all of this but couldn’t help herself.  She had already given herself away anyway.</p><p>Charlotte chewed her lip thoughtfully.  “Well, perhaps I should not say anything.  It was supposed to be a surprise after all.  The dedication this weekend will be a small event, really just a way to mark the start of the season.  What we had planned for you was to have the formal dedication of the Assembly Rooms at the Midsummer Ball.  Lady Worcester will lead the ceremony and” she lowered her voice conspiratorially, “she’s mentioned that perhaps the Prince Regent will be able to make it as well.  Can you imagine?  If true, it would be his first visit.”</p><p>Lady Denham eyed her cautiously.  “This is an interesting turn of events, if it can be believed.  Why, however, would Tom Parker simply not say this to me earlier?”</p><p>“Oh, he desperately wanted to keep it mum.  I believe he wanted to learn more of the Prince Regent’s schedule before presenting the idea to you.”  Charlotte lied.</p><p>Lady Denham was clearly skeptical but not about to deny an opportunity to be honored, especially if there was to be royalty involved.  She looked Charlotte up and down. “I had forgotten that you are a rather clever girl." She mused half to herself and then changed back to her matter of fact tone.  "Well inform your Parker brothers that we will be speaking about it soon.  If there is to be an event in my honor I hardly expect to have absolutely no input whatsoever.  I am already passed over in most of the decision making.  Passed over for a couple of inexperienced girls.”  Her last sentence came out a mix of spite and ruefulness.  She looked over Charlotte again and then paced quietly for a few moments before stopping and shaking her finger at her.  “You know, I still cannot figure you out.  Did you marry for money or not after all?  Certainly there’s no money now.  You didn’t take a honeymoon trip.  You’re renting a ramshackle, leaky estate from me for a pittance.  No, certainly very little right now.  And yet, there is the glimmer of wealth if things turn around as Tom Parker promises me.  It is still a mystery to me.”</p><p>Charlotte smiled and looked out the window.  “I can assure you ma’am that we are most happy.”</p><p>“Well you better be after all of the trouble you caused!  That much is for certain.  You may be on your way Mrs Parker.” she said dismissing her with a wave of her hand.</p><p>“And can we perhaps count on your attendance tomorrow?  It would mean ever so much as you are the great lady of the town.”</p><p>“Oh, I thought for certain you were above trying to butter me up.  Disappointing, my dear.  But yes, you can count me in.  Perhaps I will even have a few words to say.”</p><p>Charlotte grinned to herself, knowing that Lady Denham’s words were hardly what Georgiana needed.  “Wonderful Lady Denham.  I very much look forward to seeing you again tomorrow then.”  She nodded and was on her way, her whole body relaxing as she stepped out through the massive front door, back into the warm sunshine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, well.  I should have known when Carter told me I’d find you down here.”  Charlotte said as she came across Sidney down towards the river.  “You’ve had it hung.”  She looked at the hammock and marveled at the way it swooped across, between the two trees.  </p><p>“Yes, and I’ve even waited to have it’s inaugural lounge with you.”  Sidney said reaching his hand out to her.  He looked so wonderful standing there in just his shirt, sleeves rolled up, relaxed, happy.  She couldn’t help but ignore his hand and rush straight into him, embracing him tightly.  He wrapped his arms around her as her head rested on his chest.  “Goodness, what a lovely greeting.” he said into the top of her head.</p><p>“It is very nice to return home to you."</p><p>“Come.” He said breaking away.  “I have been impatient to get in.”  He lowered himself to sit in the center of the hammock and then easily lifted his legs up into it.  He reached out his arms and helped her as she sat gingerly.  He then pulled her backwards quickly, playfully.  Charlotte squealed as the hammock swung madly, the two of them nestled tightly side by side, Sidney’s arm wrapped under Charlotte’s back.  They laid there quietly as the hammock slowed, rocking just barely now.  Their eyes were pointed at the green canopy, bright patches of blue sky poking through a quilt of leaves.  The river rushed nearby but was not visible from this spot, just a calming sound.  </p><p>"This is lovely." Charlotte sighed happily.</p><p>"Yes, perfection." Sidney answered as he squeezed her shoulder and kissed her temple.  "Now, tell me of your meeting." </p><p>"She will be there tomorrow.  And she will grace the crowd with some words."</p><p>Sidney chuckled.  "Won't Georgiana be thrilled?  How ever, my lion tamer, did you manage her?"</p><p>"Well, as it turns out, Susan will be honoring her with a dedication to the Assembly Rooms at the Midsummer Ball.  Perhaps even the Prince Regent will be there. " Charlotte said archy.</p><p>"Quite smart.  Do you think Susan will be in agreement to this?"</p><p>"Indeed, I don't see why not.  She will be in town for the Regatta and the ball.  I can't imagine it would be any hardship to her.  I will write to her.  You just trust your lion tamer now." She says patting his hand.  They lay there quietly for a bit.  "She's hurt by everything you know.  Not just jealous but hurt."</p><p>"Lady D?!  Are you quite certain you weren't talking to some other elderly woman?  Perhaps one with the gift of genuine emotion?".</p><p>"Oh enough.  Just because she can be cruel doesn't mean you must be too.  Imagine all she's given and then Tom lost it all.  You would be livid with any business partner that did that."</p><p>Sidney chuckled mirthlessly.  "Well yes, I know it all very well.  Perhaps you have forgotten that I am also a partner in this."</p><p>"Of course, but you have a say.  I am afraid Lady Denham has never really been asked for her own opinions or thoughts, she's just expected to give her money"</p><p>"No, no, no." Sidney said shaking his head vehemently.  "She doesn't need to be asked for her opinions.  She gives them most freely."</p><p>"Hmm.. I am simply of the mind that if she were consulted more frequently, rather than hid from perhaps she would be less difficult.  Slightly anyway."</p><p>Sidney laid silently, thoughtful and Charlotte settled her head on his chest, her hand wandering over his stomach.  Minutes stretched on peacefully and then she asked softly,  "Do you miss Antigua?" </p><p>"No."</p><p>"You were there ten years, surely you felt something for it."</p><p>"I liked it well enough while I was there.  It was an escape.  And it's beautiful Charlotte.  You cannot even imagine the colors.  They are so vivid.  The water is the bluest blue you'd ever seen and it's so warm it's like slipping into a bath."</p><p>"That sounds very nice.  Perhaps we should go there someday." she said as her hand slowly untucked his shirt and sought his bare skin underneath.</p><p>"I would love to show it to you but the journey is long and difficult and Antigua itself can be quite wild and dangerous."</p><p>"I would go, you know." She hesitated. "Sometimes I fear you will tire of quiet domestic life after all of your previous adventures.  Know that if you ever want to run off I will gladly run with you.  I don't want to be the wife that's left back home."</p><p>Sidney propped his head up on his hand and looked at her carefully.  "Do you really think I'd run from you?"</p><p>"Well not now but maybe as life settles.  It happens quite often." she said shyly.</p><p>"Never with us.  Do you hear me?  Never."  He kissed her softly and then looked down at her hand in his shirt.  "What are you trying to do anyway?"</p><p>"I just wanted to touch you." She answered simply.</p><p>"Yes but now it makes me want to touch you in return." he said, pulling her closer and reaching his arm down to yank at her skirts.</p><p>"Sidney!" she laughed trying to swat his hand away.  "Surely you cannot!  Show some restraint!"</p><p>He kept pulling at her skirt until he could reach the hem and then slipped his hand under, victoriously rubbing her thigh.  "Restraint?!  My dear wife, I have no more restraint." He looked down at her and grinned before switching to a lecturing tone.  "Before our marriage it must be said that you engaged in some terribly licentious behavior," he dropped an eyebrow, "behavior that resulted in me having to fight great temptation.  It was quite unfair of you really.  And now, as a result you see, I am fully depleted of restraint."</p><p>Charlotte looked at him trying not to smile.  "Surely I have heard that you have been known to be rather reckless when untethered.  So as I understand," she said slowly, "you mean to say that if I were to do something like so…" She gradually pulled her hand down his torso, out from under his shirt and down to his groin where her fingers started to slowly skate over his growing erection.  Sidney groaned shifting under her touch.  "You're saying there would be" she paused briefly looking at him with mock curiosity, "consequences?"</p><p>She squealed, laughing, as Sidney quickly rolled on top of her, pinning her arms down, the hammock swinging.  He dropped his head and kissed her, sucking on her full bottom lip.  "I'm saying you would do well to consider yourself warned Mrs Parker."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Chapter 36</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let's check in with Georgiana shall we?  I've been excited to get into this so the chapters should flow pretty quickly. <br/> Enjoy!</p><p>Also, you'll have to imagine accents for yourself.  I am not talented enough to attempt to write them!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Georgiana stood scanning the crowd during the boardwalk dedication.  Lady Denham had been very brief.  She had not mentioned Georgiana but no matter.  Georgiana was surprised she had shown up at all considering their contentious history.  Tom, however, enthusiastically droned on.  Granted, it was the start of the season and there were many changes and improvements to hail but, as with everything Tom did, it was a bit much.  Her eyes quickly landed on three dark faces.  There were three young men of color in the crowd, all dressed quite smartly, and Georgiana blushed as she realized they were talking amongst each other while looking at her.  She tried to look away but kept glancing back wondering who they were and how they found themselves in tiny Sanditon.</p><p>She did not have to wait long to find out for the men sought her out after the presentation was over.  “Miss Lambe, may we be so bold as to introduce ourselves?  I am Mr. Jean Robert Broussard.” He was handsome with a caramel complexion and dressed impeccably in a purple jacket, silver brocade vest and black pants.  “And this is Mr Louis Gerard and Mr Richard Gagne.”  The two men tipped their hats to her.  She nodded politely in response.  His accent was so strange and her curiosity was too strong to ignore it.</p><p>“It is a pleasure to meet you.  Your accent?  Where, may I ask, are you from?  Certainly not England.”</p><p>Mr Broussard laughed.  “Oh no, hardly.  We are from New Orleans in America.”</p><p>“My goodness, you are a long way from home.  How in heaven’s name did you find yourself in England, and perhaps more strikingly, in Sanditon?”</p><p>He laughed again at her bluntness.  “We are abroad on business.  Well and admittedly pleasure also.”  He lifted his eyebrows at his friends and they all chuckled.  “As for Sanditon, well I must confess, we found ourselves here because of you.”</p><p>Georgiana felt her face go warm.  “Because of me?”</p><p>“Yes, while in London we heard the tales of the elegant Miss Lambe, a sister from Antigua who became the great patron of an English seaside resort town.  It was certainly enough to pique our interest.  We had to come see for ourselves.”</p><p>Georgiana smiled coyly.  She was very glad she had worn one of her favorite and most flattering day dresses for the dedication today.  “Well I hope I do not disappoint.”</p><p>“Oh no, I can say with certainty that you do not.” he answered smiling and looking her up and down.  Georgiana had to avert her eyes, regain her composure before she burst into giggles like an insufferable Beaufort.</p><p>Just then Sidney and Arthur joined their circle.  Introductions were made, Arthur enthusiastically asking questions about their health and constitution on the trip over the Atlantic and Sidney carefully watching Georgiana, immediately recognizing her state.</p><p>"How long will you be staying in Sanditon?  And where pray tell where are you staying?" Arthur asked.</p><p>"We just booked at the Crown for a couple of nights but so far we find Sanditon quite favorable.  We may need to extend our stay.”  Mr Broussard said watching Georgiana’s blushing, downturned face.</p><p>“I must say, we are quite intrigued by this cricket business.  Someone said we had to be in town for three weeks to make our own team?” asked Mr Gagne.  </p><p>“Yes, yes.” answered Sidney.  “I’m afraid it might be a little difficult to find lodging right now.  We’re a bit short.  And of course you’ll need to find more people to form a team.”</p><p>“Oh I’m quite certain we can rustle up lodging and bodies.  It is our town after all.”  Georgiana said lightly.  “And if you stay for three weeks that will mean you will be in town for both the annual Regatta and the Midsummer Ball.  They are the two most exciting events of the summer calendar.  Certainly not to be missed if it can be helped.”</p><p>“Well then by all means help us Miss Lambe so that we don’t miss out!  What do you say boys?  Could you see yourselves relaxing on the coast here for several weeks before pushing off?” asked Broussard.</p><p>The two other men shrugged gamely.  “Well it’s close enough to London anyway if we need a change of scenery.  But yes, let’s play cricket.  It will be quite the story to tell back home.  We spent the summer playing cricket on the south shore of England!” laughed Mr Gerard.</p><p>“Here!  Let us show you the game house.  We keep all of the equipment there so you can sign it out and practice at your leisure.  This way!”  Arthur said excitedly, leading.  Sidney smiled tightly and motioned for the group to walk ahead.  He took up the rear where he could freely keep an eye on Georgiana.</p><p> </p><p>The following afternoon Georgiana was strolling on the beach with Crockett when she came across the Americans again.  They had the cricket equipment and were trying to figure out the game to the great amusement of a small group of people who had gathered to watch the high spirited foreigners.</p><p>"Miss Lambe!  Miss Lambe!". Mr Broussard called waving her over urgently.  "Thank goodness!  We are making absolute fools of ourselves over here.  These fine folk will tell the story of the ridiculous Americans for years to come at this rate.  Please, have some pity and teach us how to play this confounding game." he said good naturedly.</p><p>“I am hardly the person to teach you how to play cricket!”  she laughed.  “I have only batted once in my life and it was only after much persuasion.”</p><p>“Oh but batting once is already more experience than I have.  Please Miss Lambe, at least show me where to stand, the proper stance.” he pleaded teasingly as he lifted the bat to her.  </p><p>She took it with a small eye roll, smiling hard.  “You stand here.”  She lined herself up in front of the wickets.  “As I understand it you are to protect the wickets by hitting the ball away from them.  You position yourself like this, see?”  She held the bat up.  </p><p>“Ah, yes, let me see.”  He stood in front of her and studied her frame, putting his hand to his chin, playing at thoughtfulness.  He circled her until he was standing right behind her.  “So your one arm would go like so and the other thus?” he asked quietly, his hands reaching to grab the bat from behind her, his voice right in her ear, her body surrounded by his.  Georgiana was shocked but overcome with excitement.  She nodded her head, barely breathing.  She did not dare to turn her head towards him knowing just how close he was.</p><p>“Mr. Broussard was it?”  Sidney’s voice rang out loud and clear.</p><p>Mr. Broussard quickly dropped back and straightened up but lost none of his ease.  “Mr. Parker!  Miss Lambe was just teaching me how to properly bat.  My friends and I are still of the mind to create a team despite not knowing the slightest thing about the game.” he said grinning charmingly.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney looked at him coldly.  “Then you should learn from someone that is well versed in the game.  Shall I demonstrate stance?  Perhaps you would like to get close with me instead?”  Charlotte had been standing beside him biting her lip nervously.  As he said this she slipped her hand from the crook of his arm to his bicep as if to gently restrain him.</p><p>Mr. Broussard chuckled.  “No, no, you are right.  It was surely an unnecessary method of learning.  I would appreciate your assistance though if you are willing.”</p><p>Sidney was looking at Georgiana, measuring her reaction, her comfort level.  She looked annoyed but it was pretty clear her annoyance was directed at him, not Broussard.  He had forgotten how complicated things got when she had romantic interest, had taken for granted her dedication to the work of Sanditon, the peace of the past year.  She did not meet his eye.  He turned his attention back to Broussard.  “As it happens I hardly have the time.  My wife and I have an engagement to attend.”  </p><p>“If the offer stands I would be honored another time Mr Parker.”  Broussard said genteely.</p><p>Charlotte could feel Sidney bristling further, his chest expanding with deep breaths.  She knew he was terribly put off by Mr. Broussard’s ease.  “Georgiana, why don’t you walk with us?  We can walk you back to the Terrace on the way to Trafalgar House.”  she offered brightly.  Georgiana grimaced at her and Charlotte dropped her eyebrows pointedly in response.  Georgiana sighed.  </p><p>“Yes, thank you.  I’d be pleased to have your escort.”  She inclined her head towards Broussard and she and Crockett then filed in behind Sidney and Charlotte.</p><p> </p><p>They didn’t speak on the short walk.  Sidney knew he had nothing to say which Georgiana did not already know and he was still too angry to speak.  They would discuss it later.  They walked her to her door and he looked at her meaningfully.  “I will come to see you tomorrow morning.”</p><p>Georgiana did not answer, just nodded formally in assent.  Sidney stalked off with Charlotte just about running to keep up.  Georgiana watched as they turned the corner and then pivoted on her heel.  “Come on Crockett.  Let us go to the beach.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Chapter 37</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a note that we're going to be touching on slavery a bit here and there over the next few chapters, nothing graphic.  While this is obviously fiction, I've done some research but I'm not a historian and if at any point you feel things are not being handled in the most sensitive manner please let me know.  I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.</p><p>Readers, it's week 7 or 8 of strict social distancing for us here.  How are you all holding up?  Hope you're well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It seems to me that perhaps your guardian is not well versed in the art of having a good time.”  Mr Broussard said wryly.  They sat on the sand side by side, Crockett sitting a short distance behind.  Mr. Gerard and Mr. Gagne were playing with the cricket equipment, laughing as they tried to get a handle on the game.</p><p>“Oh you could hardly be more wrong!”  Georgiana answered.  “As long as I’ve known him, Sidney’s reputation has preceded him in his talent for having a good time.  He and Charlotte are very recently married though, she is my dear friend actually, and I do believe he is quite comfortable with his fun lying in a more… domestic realm right now.” she said, lifting an eyebrow provocatively. </p><p>“Well, that surely sounds lucky for them.  You say his wife is your friend?  What came first I wonder, her friendship with you or her relationship with him?” he mused.</p><p>“Oh she certainly fell in love with me first.”</p><p>Mr. Broussard chuckled and then let his gaze linger on her.  “Yes, yes, I can imagine it would be quite easy to fall for you.” he said softly, smiling slightly.</p><p>Georgiana’s heart beat frantically.  It had been so long since she felt any real excitement for a man and now Mr. Jean Robert Broussard had materialized from thin air.  He seemed to be everything she could ever want, charming, handsome, fashionable, worldly; the man she thought she’d never have the good fortune of meeting, of perhaps falling in love with.  She cleared her throat and came back to the moment.  “You said you were traveling for business.  What is your occupation Mr Broussard?”</p><p>“A woman of business has business-like questions.  I can appreciate that.  I am in publishing.”</p><p>“And that brings you all the way to England?  Are there no authors in America?” she asked jokingly.</p><p>“No, no, of course there are excellent authors in America.  We specialize in abolitionist publishing.”  Georgiana’s estimation of him rose even higher.  “And we have traveled to Europe to speak with some new voices, to give our readers a wider range of experience and views.  Here the cause is obviously further along than back home.  Ever since Louisiana was purchased by the United States things have even gotten worse for us.  Under French governance free black men had liberties we had taken for granted and now, now we cannot vote, we cannot travel or hardly do anything at all without papers and permission.  And droves of new slaves have been brought into the territory now.  There have been violent uprisings on plantations.  Free men are unsure where their futures lie.  It is a very difficult time.”  </p><p>“How terrible!”</p><p>Mr Broussard sighed.  “It is.  We are in need of hope and I felt we might be able to harness some here to bring home.”  He looked out at the sea thoughtfully for a minute but then turned to her and tilted his head sheepishly.  “But of course, selfishly, for Mr Gagne, Mr Gerard and myself this trip is also simply a way to escape from it all and enjoy ourselves for awhile.”</p><p>"Certainly everyone needs an escape at times.  Did you attend a Sons of Africa meeting while you were in London?  I was better acquainted with their work last year when I was in London full time."</p><p>Mr Broussard drew his head back and looked at her appreciatively.  "My goodness, here I was thinking you were a fascinating woman due to your beauty and business acumen but on top of it all you are active in the cause.  Miss Lambe you are a string of pleasant surprises!"  Georgiana blushed.  "Indeed, we did meet with the Sons of Africa.  There was one orator we were especially impressed with, a Mr Otis Molyneux.". Georgiana couldn't help but make a face and look away.  Broussard laughed.  "Ah, you know him it seems?"</p><p>"Yes, I am acquainted with Mr Molyneux.  He does speak most eloquently.  I'm sure he would be an excellent candidate for publication.  Although I find that his personal morals do not often reach the same heights as the ones he professes in his speeches."</p><p>Broussard called out to Gerard and Gagne, "Miss Lambe says that Otis Molyneux has rather loose morals!  What do you say men?"</p><p>Mr Gerard snorted, tossing the ball high up in the air and catching it.  "Molyneux?!  I find that hard to believe."</p><p>"Perhaps there are two Otis Molyneux's in London." joked Gagne.</p><p>Georgiana pursed her lips, not sure if they were teasing her.</p><p>Mr Broussard laughed.  "Forgive us, it's just, as it happens, we found Mr Molyneux to be a little dull.  Perhaps too caught up in the cause to also live his life."</p><p>Georgiana rolled her eyes.  "Oh I believe he does just fine living his life."</p><p>Mr Broussard looked at her curiously, amused.  "Well, perhaps when we go back through London we will discover the more merry version of him.  I find, Miss Lambe, that there are two types of people in this world; those that know how to live and those that don't.  I am certainly of the former category and like to surround myself with similarly minded people." He looked into her eyes.  "I believe there is so much out there and it is ours for the taking if we will have the nerve."  </p><p>Georgiana was alarmed by how captivated she was.  She had just met this man but was ready to follow him wherever he may lead.  She shook herself.  "I should probably be going.  It is getting dark."</p><p>He glanced down, smiling to himself.  “Could I perhaps have the pleasure of your company at the cricket game tomorrow?  Perhaps you could point out some of the finer details of the game that I might otherwise miss?”</p><p>She felt herself blushing deeply.  She briefly considered making a more confident or coy response but settled on an earnest reply.  “I would be very happy to.  I believe it is Mr Stringer’s team playing tomorrow.  He has quite the arm, the best bowler in Sanditon.  You may as well see what you will be up against before you decide to create a team.”</p><p>“Excellent.  I’ll bid you adieu for now and wait for you outside of the Terrace at 2:00 tomorrow.”  With that he offered his hand and lifted her up off of the sand.  He kissed her hand softly, nodded at Crockett and set off to return to his friends.</p><p> </p><p>“I knew he was not to be trusted!  An American!  A French American at that!  They do not follow the same code of conduct.  They are lacking the decency, the delicacy we expect in a courtship.  His arms around her on the beach?!  There was a crowd of people right there!  Watching!  They barely know each other.  I--”  he stopped and threw down her laces.  “I’m making a bloody mess of this.  You may have to call the maid.” he grumbled.</p><p>Sidney had learned how to lace Charlotte’s stays the first morning of their marriage.  He told her, part in jest, that he did not want the maid getting mad at him when she had to come and relace Charlotte as the need arose.  But he and Charlotte also really enjoyed the peace, the intimacy of helping each other to dress in the morning.  They knew it probably wouldn’t last forever but that seemed all the more reason to embrace it now.</p><p>Charlotte chuckled softly and loosened the laces enough that she could slip her stays off completely.  Sidney had turned away and was looking out the window, agitated.  She slipped her arms around his waist from behind and leaned into his back.  She held him silently, waiting.  Eventually he wrapped his arms over hers.  “Georgiana and I have been getting on so well lately.” he sighed.  “I don’t want to lose what we have gained and I can see it happening clear as if it were in this room.”</p><p>“It doesn’t have to come to that.  You are not forbidding her from seeing him.” Charlotte said gently.</p><p>“No, but I know how Georgiana gets when she is in love.  She will be defensive and argumentative.”</p><p>“She is passionate.”</p><p>“Yes.  Passionate and impulsive and clearly Broussard seems to be as well.”</p><p>“Maybe that means they are well matched.  People called us passionate and impulsive as well, as I remember.”  Charlotte unwrapped her arms and circled around to face him.  She reached up and gently stroked his stubbled cheek.  “It has worked in our favor.” she smiled.</p><p>Sidney hugged her to him tightly, his hands rubbing her body through her thin chemise.  “Oh, my Charlotte.  Life is certainly better with you in it.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Chapter 38</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney settled into a chair opposite of Georgiana in her drawing room.  He sighed and looked at her, already feeling exhausted before he even began.  “You know, I expect, that I was not happy to see Mr Broussard being so intimate with you in the view of everyone on the beach.  That was hardly appropriate.  You have your personal reputation as well as the reputation of this town to preserve now.  I need to be able to trust that you will be better behaved in the future.”</p><p>“Better behaved.” Georgiana scoffed and rolled her eyes.</p><p>“I’m serious Georgiana.  You are now very well renowned here and in London.  There are higher stakes now for all of us.  You cannot be so flippant.”</p><p>“As you say.” she said, clearly unmoved.</p><p>Sidney clenched his jaw, frustrated by her attitude but held steady.  “I spoke with Mr Broussard at the Crown last night.”</p><p>“You did not!!!  Sidney, how could you?!”</p><p>“Crowe is in town now and we were having a drink.”</p><p>“Oh and it just so happens that Mr Broussard is staying there.”</p><p>“It just so happens that it is the only tavern in town.”  Sidney stated firmly.  Georgiana shook her head, unable to fight that point, but knowing all the same that it was hardly a coincidence.  She was pretty certain it was the first time he had visited the Crown since before his wedding.  “He seems to be a very lively, fun loving man.”</p><p>“And..?”</p><p>“I am not trying to stop you from seeing him.  He seems fine enough if you favor him but it is important to note that we have no real information about his person, his history.”</p><p>“Like how you dug up information on Otis?”</p><p>“Dug up?  The rumors of his gambling basically assailed me when you became attached to him!”  Sidney stopped himself and sighed again.  They sat quietly.  Georgiana was waiting to see what more he would say.  “Do you know he is in the sugar trade?” he asked gently.</p><p>“He is a publisher of abolitionist works.”  She said matter of factly, tossing her head to the side dismissively.</p><p>Sidney tilted his head, looking at her tenderly.  He inhaled deeply through his nose.  “His father owns a publishing company and Mr Broussard works for him.  That is true.  But clearly, abolitionist publishing in America is hardly lucrative enough for him and his friends to be galavanting around the continent.” he said carefully.  Georgiana looked away, embarrassed by her naivety.  “They have active ties to a set of plantations in Saint-Dominigue.  They do not own the slaves or the plantations, they manage the trade of the product only.  How do you feel about that?” he asked softly.</p><p>Georgiana felt her head swimming.  She had thought he was perfect and now, this; this marred his image in her mind.  She felt herself getting upset and quickly built up walls.  “There must always be sugar trade.  If it was not his family it would be another; another family that would happily support slavery.  Should not the money being made off of it be used to try to eradicate slavery instead?”</p><p>“But do you not think he is actively supporting slavery by being involved in the trade?”</p><p>“Sidney, you cannot for a moment think that your decisions and Mr Broussard’s decisions are at all alike.  When you felt the sugar trade was too morally reprehensible you had the ability to pull your investment and successfully put it elsewhere.  Do you think Mr Broussard, a man of color in America, has the same opportunities?!  Do you think his money is welcome wherever he wants to put it?  Do you think it is so simple for him as it was for you?  Do not be foolish.  I imagine his family is making money the best way they know how and they are using that money to fund their noble work in publishing.  How dare you question the morality of it all!  You know nothing of the struggle.”</p><p>Sidney nodded seriously.  “I just thought you should know is all.”  He looked down and thought for a while.  “If you go through with this courtship I do need to know that you will be mindful and cautious.  You are still a young lady.  You have more liberty this year because I think you have earned it but as stated before I will move you out of the apartment and under stricter surveillance if it is deemed necessary.”</p><p>“If it is deemed necessary…” Georgiana mocked.</p><p>“Do not think that because of your investment, because you own this apartment that you have bought your freedom.  You are still under-”</p><p>“Bought my freedom?!  Did you really just use that phrase with me?  Immediately following a conversation about slavery?!”  Georgiana's head shot up, her eyes flashing, daring him to answer.</p><p>“You know that is not at all my meaning.  I simply mean that you are still underage despite the adult actions you have made this year.”</p><p>“God and to think I felt that we finally were on more equal footing, that you knew me better.  But no, you will never understand me, my life, what it is to live in my skin!  And do you really think I used my money simply to manipulate myself into early adulthood?!”</p><p>“How can anyone truly understand another’s life?  Georgiana, I misspoke, you know that.”</p><p>Georgiana scoffed and rolled her eyes to the ceiling, as she willed her tears to stay, to not betray her.  “Just go Sidney.  You will always simply be my guardian.  It is foolish of me to expect more of you when you never wanted the role in the first place.”</p><p>“Georgiana.”</p><p>“No.  Leave me.” she ordered sternly.  She knew she was being unreasonable, that Sidney clearly did care more for her than she was giving him credit for.  It was obvious.  The past year had been one of her best and much of that was thanks to him and the time they had spent together, the trust and respect and friendship they had shared.  But she was tired of feeling alone, different, tired of feeling she must always point out that her experience of the world was vastly separate from his and that of their social circle.  </p><p>She was overwhelmed by her sudden feelings for Jean Robert and her desire to spend time with him and she was not interested in being told how she should or should not proceed.  He could be a person that perhaps she could be easy with, be fully understood.  She was not ready for Sidney to tamper with that in any way.  But of course Sidney’s revelation that he was in the sugar trade had greatly thrown her.  She had defended him, and felt it was a just defense but it still brought up a mass of complicated emotions, emotions she could not sort through with Sidney hovering.  She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and exited to her bedroom, leaving Sidney to see himself out.  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sidney immediately set towards Trafalgar House looking for Arthur.  </p><p>“Arthur, could you do me the greatest favor?  Could you and Diana possibly attend the cricket match today and sit with Georgiana?  She has plans to attend with that American, Mr Broussard, and I just don’t know him well enough to feel comfortable with it.  She and I just had a terrible row about it all so my presence would clearly…” he trailed off tiredly.</p><p>“Yes, yes.  Of course Sidney!”  Arthur clapped him on the back jovially.  “Diana and I had planned to watch the game at any rate.  We never miss one of Mr Stringer’s games!  He is ever so striking on the pitch, the strength of his arm, such an utter joy to watch really.”  The obvious excitement on Arthur’s face faltered as if he had said too much.  “He is a joy to watch, is he not?  Do you not agree?” he continued almost supplicating Sidney to answer in the affirmative.</p><p>Sidney smiled at Arthur and put his hand reassuringly on his shoulder.  He never wanted Arthur to feel as though he could lose Sidney’s love and respect simply by being himself.  “Yes, he is a joy to watch.  You are completely in the right brother.  And thank you.  I will be anxious to hear what you think of Mr Broussard and if he is good enough for our Georgiana.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Chapter 39</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Mother's day to all my mom readers out there!  I hope you're having a delightfully relaxing day.  Had I planned it better, this chapter would have been full of Sidlotte goodness as my gift you but so it goes.  And yes, we are getting back to Sidlotte goodness soon.  I know, who cares about this American suitor?  But I couldn't resist playing with the idea of what Georgiana would actually want her life to look like once she had the ability to choose for herself.  But yes, Sidlotte soon.  ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The strain between Sidney and Georgiana held fast and Charlotte was surprised to see that, as Sidney's wife, it now extended to her as well.  Georgiana was polite and friendly but brief with Charlotte.  They saw her often but not for any extended period of time and more often than not their meetings were simply due to the small nature of the town and their shared responsibility for it.  Mr Broussard was always warm and gregarious when he was present but Georgiana rarely had much to say.   Charlotte was dumbfounded and hurt.</p><p>“She’ll come around.”  Sidney said one afternoon as they were walking home from town along the cliff walk.  </p><p>“I just can’t imagine her choosing to go to the bonfires Friday night with Mrs Griffiths over us!”</p><p>“She is stubborn and consumed with this new flirtation.  She will come around.  You’ll see.”</p><p>“What if they marry?”</p><p>“He is a good enough fellow I suppose.  They seem happy with one another.  He certainly has money of his own and enough of it that he and Georgiana can afford the life of excitement and fine things that she has always wanted.   I imagine it could be a decent match.”</p><p>“But surely he will return home to New Orleans.”</p><p>Sidney nodded and walked on silently.   Charlotte assumed he did not want to discuss it but after a length he spoke.  “From the moment her father passed, having her as my ward was a burden, a duty I simply had to abide by until the time was up.  I did fail her Charlotte.”</p><p>“But you have done so well by her over the last year.”</p><p>“I have tried.  I have finally come to see her as family, rather than obligation.  And now.  Well, to be quite frank, I can’t imagine not having her in my life.”  He stopped walking and looked at her, as if surprised by his own words.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur and Georgiana had taken a walk along the beach.  Georgiana was missing the Parker family, even Tom.  She saw them frequently enough but it was always in passing or for scheduled events or meetings.  There were no longer casual, day long visits, time spent resting comfortably in each other's company.  But for whatever reason she could not bring herself to linger in Sidney or Charlotte's presence.  It just felt too overwhelming.  She was relieved when Arthur accepted her invitation to stroll without extending it to anyone else.  They walked on for a distance catching up on town gossip and small talk.  Eventually they took a seat on a bench, watching the sea.</p><p>"Mr Broussard seems quite taken with you if I may say so."  Arthur said, cocking his head impishly.</p><p>Georgiana smiled to herself and then answered slowly.  "Yes, I believe he plans to propose."</p><p>Arthur's eyes widened in shock.  "My goodness Miss Lambe, do you think so?!  So soon?  Do you think you will accept him?"</p><p>"Oh Arthur have you seen him?!  He is only one of the most handsome men I have ever seen!  How could I refuse?" </p><p>They giggled together but Arthur watched her out of the corner of his eye.  As their laughter subsided he hazarded to look at her more sincerely.  "But do you, do you love him?"</p><p>"I am fascinated by him!  He is so exciting and fun and intelligent and, well he's simply wonderful!" she gushed.</p><p>Arthur's face took on a bemused expression.  "But love is clearly different from fascination.  Forgive me Miss Lambe, but I witnessed the strength of your affection for Mr Molyneux, the pain of its loss.  I do not know from experience but I imagine if you are to marry you should perhaps feel… that same intensity."  Arthur floundered.</p><p>Georgiana bristled.  "I was young and naive, when I met Mr Molyneux.  It was an infatuation that, as you well know, went quite sour."</p><p>"Forgive me again, but I can hardly believe that you feel it was simply an infatuation."</p><p>"Arthur!  Why?!  Why must you press me so?  Your brother was madly in love with Mrs Campion and absolutely devastated by their parting years ago.  Did that mean she was the right partner for him?!  No!  We are foolish in our youth and make mistakes!  Mr Broussard, however, shares social status and beliefs and life goals and expectations with me and that, along with the fact that we greatly enjoy each other's company, will make us an ideal match!"</p><p>Arthur laid his hand on hers.  "I sincerely didn't mean to upset you.  Truly Miss Lambe, I am so very pleased for you.  It is jolly good news.  Truly."</p><p>She looked away and he noticed her eyes were shining with tears.  A silence settled between them eventually broken by Georgiana.  "I am sorry for lashing out.  You were right.  I did love Otis, most fervently.  But it could never be Arthur.  It could never be.  I could never trust him again."  She sighed and smiled shakily at him.  "Mr Broussard is a much more sensible match and I do believe we will be very happy and that I will grow to love him quite a bit."</p><p>Arthur smiled at her kindly and cradled her cheek sweetly.  He nodded.  "Yes, if that is what you want then I think you shall be most happy.  And you were so right, how could you refuse such a handsome husband?"</p><p>Georgiana giggled and dropped her head on his shoulder.  "Thank you Arthur."</p><p> </p><p>Friday evening the bonfire was very well attended.  They were only a week away from the Regatta now and the town rentals were at capacity.  Granted the popularity waxed and waned with Lady Susan’s visits but the Parkers and even Lady Denham were not terribly concerned.  They felt they only needed to pull people in and then Sanditon, itself, would charm them into returning.  </p><p>Fred Robinson and his brother were playing their fiddles in the gazebo, people dancing enthusiastically to the lively music.  Others strolled the sands, enjoying the warmth and the atmosphere of the bonfires.  Georgiana and Mr Broussard leaned on the railing of the boardwalk watching the bustle of the evening.  Georgiana felt immensely proud to see her vision come to life.  She thought back to last September when she had gone to Lady Denham, trying to make an investment deal.  She thought of how ugly the meeting had turned and yet, here they were.  She had achieved this with her own ingenuity and perseverance.  </p><p>“If you think this is lovely you should certainly come to New Orleans.  The night comes alive like no other city on earth.  You would adore it.”  Mr Broussard said seductively, his hand subtly sliding next to hers, his pinky finger intertwining itself with hers.</p><p>Georgiana smiled but noticed the unintentional slight of her Sanditon.  “It sounds lovely.  Speaking of New Orleans, have you sent your father any works for publication yet?”</p><p>“I must confess, I have been rather distracted.”  He reached out and slowly brushed his thumb across her bottom lip.  A frantic, throat clearing came from the other side of Georgiana and Mr Broussard realized Mrs Griffiths had returned from fetching herself a drink.  “My apologies Mrs Griffiths.  As I’ve pleaded before though, how can I be expected to resist a woman so lovely as this?” he asked, dripping charm.</p><p>Georgiana completely ignored Mrs Griffiths and pressed on.  “But in all seriousness, you said you were here to spread hope back home and you have sent nothing.”</p><p>He nodded.  “Yes, yes, perhaps I’ll write your friend Molyneux and ask for a couple essays.”  She rolled her eyes and he laughed and took her hand.  “I will.  I will, my darling.  I appreciate a woman who will hold me accountable.  Look, your guardian has arrived.  You know I must get to know him better if we are courting in earnest.”  Georgiana exhaled heavily.  “Will he absolutely throttle me if I ask his wife to dance?”</p><p>“Don’t.  Don’t you leave me here with him.” she said through clenched teeth.</p><p>He tipped his hat at her graciously, smirking flirtatiously, and made straight to Charlotte, bowing low, before sweeping her away.  Georgiana immediately set off to find herself a drink, to keep away from Sidney and any prying questions he might have.</p><p> </p><p>“I have been wanting to get better acquainted with you Mrs Parker.  Miss Lambe speaks so highly of you.”  Mr Broussard said as they glided smoothly across the gazebo floor.</p><p>“Well, that’s fairly surprising to hear but nice all the same, I suppose.” Charlotte answered simply.</p><p>“It seems my presence has caused some tension between you all.  I apologize.”</p><p>“Oh no, I do not hold you at all accountable.”</p><p>“Yes, I believe you and I are the casualties of a war for which we did not enlist."</p><p>"Oh no, this is no war, simply a skirmish." Charlotte clarified.</p><p>"It seems that perhaps Mr Parker and Miss Lambe have had a complicated relationship over potential suitors in the past?”</p><p>“You could certainly say that.” Charlotte chuckled mirthlessly.</p><p>Broussard raised one eyebrow quizzically, teasingly.  “Care to share?”</p><p>“It is hardly my place sir.” Charlotte said with a friendly smile.  “I suppose I can only safely say that you have received a much easier treatment than the last.”</p><p>“Well, I am grateful for that.  My time with Miss Lambe has been an utter delight.  I pity the man who lost her.”  They danced through the rest of the song, conversation easy and pleasant.  Charlotte could certainly understand Georgiana’s attraction to him.  “I do hope that Miss Lambe and Mr Parker can work their differences out.  I have encouraged her to sweep it all under the rug but she is nothing if not stubborn, is she not?"</p><p>Charlotte laughed.  "Mr Broussard, it is certainly for the best that you know that now rather than later!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Chapter 40</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day before the Regatta was a frantic race of preparations.  The Parker family was all over town supervising and helping to set up.  Sidney was at the new boathouse on the river, confirming that the equipment and materials needed for the races were all in order.  This year, thanks to the boat rentals, there was much more interest in the gentlemen's rowing event.  There were four sets of races scheduled with the winners of each competing in the final.</p><p>He picked up an errant oar to put it away and stopped.  The feeling of it in his hand, the smooth worn handle, the weight of it, he was transported back to last year.  He thought of how beautiful Charlotte had looked in the row boat, her white dress resplendent in the bright sunshine.  She had been so steady, so reassuring at a time when he was completely adrift.  He had known viscerally there in that boat that she was who he needed, she held the key to the life he wanted.  It took time to get there but it was that moment that revealed his own heart to him.  He almost kissed the oar in gratitude like a lovesick fool, but was immensely glad he didn't because at that moment a shadow fell from the doorway and he looked up to see Broussard.</p><p>"Mr Parker, sir, I was told I could find you here.  Can I be of any assistance?"</p><p>"Ah, I believe I'm set actually but thank you." Sidney said politely as he gently set the oar back into place, letting his hand lingeringly sweep over it before turning away.  Broussard nodded and they stepped out of the boathouse together.  "I, uh, noticed you and your friends are participating in the races tomorrow."</p><p>"Yes, it should be quite thrilling.  We're looking forward to it.  Perhaps we can redeem ourselves after our follies on the cricket pitch."  They both chuckled and made to walk back towards town.  Broussard cleared his throat, uncharacteristically uncomfortable.  Sidney knew what he was building towards.  "I apologize for Miss Lambe's recent treatment of you."</p><p>Sidney grunted.  "I don't believe you have a say in the matter.  She is nothing if not a woman of her own mind."</p><p>Broussard chuckled.  "I admire her greatly for it, you know.  Please be assured I admire her for all of her wonderful qualities, her strength, her heart.  She is unlike any woman I have ever known."  He inhaled, expanding his chest.  "Mr Parker, I came to ask for your blessing.  I hope to ask her for her hand at the ball."</p><p>Sidney kept walking, his head pointed straight ahead.  "Yes, I imagined that would be the timeline.  You have business in Paris soon you said?". Broussard nodded.  "Do you plan to marry ahead of that trip?"</p><p>"Georgiana…" Sidney tensed involuntarily.  "Forgive me.  Miss Lambe seemed enthusiastic about seeing Paris.  It would seem a shame not to be able to bring her."</p><p>Sidney smiled warmly to himself.  God, yes, she'd go wild for Paris, the shopping, the music, the parties, the romantic atmosphere.  It fulfilled all of her interests and sensibilities.  Over the last couple weeks he had inquired with some London contacts he knew from his days in the sugar trade.  It seemed Broussard didn't trade heavily with England.  A couple people had known of him, but had no real information on him.  It appeared his business was respected and honest though and that was a good enough sign.  He had no real basis to encourage or refuse him.</p><p>"Sidney!". Tom came briskly up the path towards them.  "Oh goodness, come!  There's a bit of a mix up with some of the vendors.  I could surely use your assistance."</p><p>Sidney looked at Broussard.  "Forgive me."  Broussard looked crestfallen.  Sidney reached out to put this hand on his shoulder.  "As I said, Georgiana is a woman of her own mind, ask her, with my blessing."</p><p> </p><p>Tom and Sidney arrived in town, where vendors were beginning to set up their tents alongside the boardwalk.  "There's a delicate situation with vendors squabbling over location.  It seems the milliner is unhappy because…". Tom stopped, looking around.  Everything was calm as the vendors were busily setting up their stalls.  "Oh it seems…. Charlotte!  Diana!". He waved them over.  "What happened with the milliner and the iron worker?"</p><p>"Oh we just shifted the milliner next to the chandler.  It was no real bother, just a matter of listening to their complaints and making some minor adjustments." Diana waved casually.  "You know it is not always necessary to run to Sidney with every little problem."</p><p>Sidney smirked and nodded to his sister.  "Ah Diana, I could not have put it better myself!". He pivoted to Charlotte and offered her his arm.  "But it put me in your path so no matter.  Care to take a walk with me Mrs Parker?"</p><p>Charlotte smiled and then looked to Diana.  Diana reached over and took the clipboard Charlotte had been holding.  "Oh off you go." She chirped.  "I can hold down the fort here quite capably despite whatever my big brother may think."  She said, giving Tom a playful glare.  He laughed and threw his hands up in surrender.</p><p>Charlotte and Sidney walked a short way down the street and then he pulled her urgently into the shadow of a quiet alley.  He swept her into his arms and kissed her passionately.  Charlotte was surprised but quite agreeable to this turn of events.  Her hands slipped up his arms and clasped behind his neck.  "Mr Parker." She smiled afterwards, casting her eyes quickly back to the street, "To what do I owe such a display of ardor?"</p><p>He looked into her eyes and opened his mouth to answer but then simply pulled her back to kiss her again.  His arms were wrapped tightly around her lower back, holding her as if he couldn't stand the thought of letting go.  Eventually he ended the kiss and looked at her, his eyes full of love.  "I was at the boathouse."  His voice was low, gravelly with emotion.  "I… It made me think of you.  I was hoping maybe we could go out on the row boat again later this afternoon."</p><p>Charlotte returned his gaze, understanding his train of thought.  Her mind had also been wandering to last year's regatta throughout the day.  It was a very bittersweet anniversary for them.  She reached up, ran her fingers through his hair and then pulled his head down to kiss him softly.  "Yes.  Indeed, I would like that very much."</p><p>A door opened into the alley and they quickly turned, rushing back to the street, laughing.  But then suddenly Sidney skidded to an abrupt stop.  His head turned both ways as if scanning for an escape route. </p><p>“Damnit.”  </p><p>Charlotte looked up at him surprised by the immediate change in his demeanor.  Before she could even ask what prompted it she followed his eyes.  There, stepping down from a carriage was none other than Eliza Campion herself.</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes lit on them almost immediately.  “Heavens!  If it isn’t Mr and Mrs Parker!  Well met!” </p><p>Sidney’s jaw tightened.  He offered Charlotte his arm and they walked over stiffly.  "Mrs Campion, well met indeed.  We were unaware you would be in attendance this year."</p><p>"Oh yes, well I am staying as the guest of some dear friends at their terrace apartment for the festivities.  I am so anxious to see the complex completed after listening to you discuss the plans all autumn!  And we had such a pleasant time last year, you and I, that I really felt I must return."  She spoke directly to Sidney.  </p><p>"Yes, well, I hope you enjoy your stay." He said with a curt nod and a fairly disoriented expression.</p><p>"Oh I am certain that I will.  I so look forward to a more proper catching up but for now I must be off."  She said to him sweetly and then turned and headed for the Terrace.</p><p>Charlotte stood shocked by all that had just transpired.  "She didn't even speak to me."</p><p>Sidney tilted his head, thinking.  "No, I believe she greeted us both."</p><p>"She greeted us but her speech was not at all addressed to me, only you.  She didn't even look at me." Charlotte answered frustrated.  "I cannot believe she is here."</p><p>"It is odd that she's here", Sidney answered slowly, processing what had just occurred, "but remember most of her acquaintances are in attendance.  And as for her disregarding you I imagine it must be fairly uncomfortable for her to see us together.  She knew I always had feelings for you of course."  Sidney said diplomatically.</p><p>Charlotte was not about to make allowances.  "I think she is a terrible woman." She said under her breath.</p><p>"She is cold and can be selfish and condescending but I don't think I'd go as far as to call her terrible."</p><p>Charlotte scoffed.  "I certainly think it qualifies."</p><p>Sidney sighed and they turned and walked off together.  They did not speak of going out in the rowboat again that afternoon.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>She's baaaaack! 😆</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Chapter 41</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, I kinda hate to break this chapter up and mess with its flow but it's kinda long and I like the momentum we have going right now so while I fine tune the second half I'll throw this out for you all.  I know everyone's anxious to hang out with their bestie, Eliza.</p><p>And yes, we're getting to the end you all!  Crazy.  5 or 6 more chapters I think.  I haven't had any strokes of inspiration on where I would go from my planned end point.  If it strikes I might throw out chapters here and there but sigh, the end is near.  I've really been enjoying taking this trip with you all.  Let's start bringing this ship into harbor!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was a light rain the morning of the regatta but it cleared away early and was followed by a beautiful, bright day.  Again the Parker's were all busy overseeing the transitions from one event to the next.  Tom was in his element.  The Sanditon he dreamed of was coming together before his eyes and he was positively zestful.  He walked the grounds twirling his cane like a baton, greeting everyone he met.  Mary was relieved to see that he was much more relaxed this year.  She was also touched to see that he included the children in his celebratory mood, swinging them onto his shoulders at times, letting them play in the anchored boats and spoiling them with cakes from the cake stall.</p><p>Georgiana was also in high spirits.  Many of the guests in attendance were people she and Sidney had wooed together over the winter and were anxious to catch her attention.  She fluttered through the crowds on Mr Broussard's strong arm, introducing him proudly and savoring the feeling of importance, of celebrity.  Mr Broussard, meanwhile, was the perfect partner for this occasion, well dressed, jovial and witty.  Together they made quite a striking impression on everyone.</p><p>Charlotte and Sidney however had an uncomfortable morning.  She still couldn't believe he had been so generous in his estimation of Eliza, of her motives for being here. She hated that she was here and dreaded running into her again.  He, meanwhile, still felt a twinge of guilt for cancelling the engagement and hurting her as he had.  He felt he and Charlotte were so happy, it was a small thing to simply be civil to Eliza for her brief visit.  They didn't speak on it though and simply set out for the day feeling disconnected.</p><p>Once they arrived it didn't help that Sidney was also suddenly in great demand by the guests.  Charlotte followed by his side for a while but felt out of place, knowing no one, understanding none of the banter, the references to a life in London that she did not yet share with Sidney.  She spent time in Susan's company and then Mary's but eventually she realized her melancholy, her vague anxiety, was just too vast for the superficial socializing of the regatta.  She longed to unburden herself to Mr Stringer.  She knew he would best understand and be a great comfort to her but she also knew that was no longer her place, her right.  </p><p>She walked away from the tents, hoping to find some peace on a solitary walk but it was almost immediately after removing herself from the crowds that Eliza came upon her.</p><p>"Mrs Parker", she said with the most false smile Charlotte had ever seen.  "I don't believe I had the chance to congratulate you on your nuptials yesterday."</p><p>"Thank you." Charlotte stammered, looking around, desperate to see a friendly face that could save her.</p><p>“I’m sure it must be so comfortable for you two here in tiny Sanditon.  Cozy."  She let her eyes go wide and blinked slowly at Charlotte.  “I wonder, however, what it will be like when it is time to return to London.  Surely Sidney, forgive me, old habits you know, Mr Parker, must return to London soon for business.”  </p><p> </p><p>Charlotte looked away.  Sidney had actually just brought up London one morning this week at breakfast.  He hadn't been back since April and desperately needed to go for a few days to see to some business matters.  It was decided that he would go Monday after the Midsummer events were over.  He had asked Charlotte if she’d prefer to stay behind and she had been a little hurt that he had even suggested it.  Now the thought of it stung even more.</p><p>Eliza noticed the discomfort in Charlotte’s face and rejoiced in it.  “Yes, London is very different.  So many social obligations, so many people to know, so much more...vice than sweet Sanditon.  And Mr Parker absolutely thrives on it.  He is so popular in London, as you can see today.  You simply should have seen the women following him around this winter.  Goodness, I was almost relieved he was no longer my fiance just so I didn’t have to worry about it all.” she laughed a shrill awful laugh.  “Although, I suppose it was his wandering eye that ended our union.  It's just in his nature.”  She lifted her shoulder and smiled knowingly at Charlotte.  “Oh yes, it will be different I’m sure from quiet Sanditon.  You would do well to prepare yourself Mrs Parker.”</p><p>Charlotte couldn’t speak.  She tried to swallow but it was as if her throat was closing up.  She felt tears stinging in her eyes and she clenched her fists angrily.  </p><p>“Sidney!  Oh see I did it again Mrs Parker!  How foolish of me!  Mr Parker, we were just talking about when you would be in London again.”</p><p>Sidney had walked up and stood next to Charlotte, his hand protectively resting on the small of her back.  He cleared his throat.  “Ah, yes, actually we expect to be in town next week.”</p><p>Eliza almost laughed out loud she was so pleased.  “Oh my, what wonderful timing!  I was just speaking with your wife about how complicated London society is and the art of keeping track of the social calendar.  Please, you must come dine with me next week and Mrs Parker” she took Charlotte’s hand in her own, “I will tell you everything you need to know.”  Charlotte refused to meet her gaze.</p><p>Sidney shifted his eyes over to Charlotte, confused by the whole exchange.  He knit his eyebrows together and gave Eliza a smile that more closely resembled a grimace.  “That’s very kind of you Mrs Campion.  We will have to check our engagements.”</p><p>“Yes, please do.  Oh and perhaps we could go to the races as well!  I know how much you always enjoyed the track.  Remember” she started laughing, “remember, that time when Chalmer’s horse would not even leave the gate?!  He had been boasting for weeks ahead of time!”  </p><p>Sidney laughed in spite of himself at the mention of a memory he had not thought of for years.  “He kept slapping those reins and that bloody horse…” He broke off laughing again.</p><p>“Yes!” Eliza doubled over laughing and grabbed Sidney’s forearm.  “Oh I will never forget his face!” </p><p>Eliza’s touch pulled Sidney back to himself and he quickly straightened his back and stepped out of her reach.  “Well, yes, we must be on our way.” he said abruptly.  He nodded politely and pressed on Charlotte’s back, steering her away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Chapter 42</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh my gosh, the Eliza hate from you all.  I love it.  So much fun.  </p><p>Well, let's get back into the thick of it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What the hell Sidney?" Charlotte hissed through clenched teeth as they stepped away.  </p><p>"Hmm?" He knew for sure what she was talking about but was frankly afraid to face it head on.</p><p>"You know damn well." </p><p>His eyes swept the area to see if anyone had overheard.  "Charlotte." he said softly, his hand reaching for hers.</p><p>"No." Charlotte pulled her arm away, her fists still tightly balled.  She stopped walking and faced him.  "You're treating her like she's an old friend.  She is not.  She is your ex fiance and I am your wife.  Your allegiance lies with me!"</p><p>"Do you think I do not know that?!  Clearly there is no comparison in my feelings for you two!  But I must be polite.  She is a guest here and one that holds a prestigious spot in London society.  She'll be gone in a couple days and then it will all be over."  He urged her to keep moving but she stayed put.</p><p>"No!  Then we will be dining at her home in London!  And after that, the races!" Charlotte spit out.</p><p>"For goodness sake Charlotte!  Calm yourself!" He said sharply, looking around again.  She followed his eyes to see Eliza still standing nearby smirking and several other people gathering, making a poor show of not eavesdropping.  But she could care less.  She was furious.</p><p>"No!  No, I will not calm myself!  How could you?!  After all we've been through!"</p><p>Sidney grabbed her by her elbow.  Their carriage had been parked a distance behind the tents so that they could leave immediately after the races to supervise the preparation for the evening's music and bonfires.  He dragged her over to it.  "Get in." He said sternly.</p><p>"I will not!  For what?  So you can send me home in disgrace?!  Absolutely not."</p><p>He leaned down so close his face was almost touching hers, his words heated but quiet. "Whether we like it or not we are spokespeople for this town and it is not in our best interest to come to blows in front of this gathering crowd of people, at the biggest event of the year.  Get in the coach and we can speak inside."  He practically lifted her in and then turned to the driver waiting nearby.  "Leave your post.  I will send for you later."  He climbed in behind her and slammed the carriage door.</p><p>“She is after you Sidney!  She still pursues you and you allow it!  You encouraged it even!”  Charlotte shouted.</p><p>“I hardly think that is the case.  I-”</p><p>“No!" She yelled, cutting him off.  "Before you arrived she was threatening me, implying that you would be unfaithful to me the moment we were in London!  She-”</p><p>Sidney shook his head slightly, shocked.  “She WHAT?!”</p><p>“Yes!  She’s sweet and simpering with you.  But with me she is utterly horrible.  And you, you allow it!”</p><p>“That disrespectful, manipulative bitch!”  Sidney growled, his face tightening in anger.  Charlotte’s eyes went wide at his sudden rage.  “I can’t believe I was not on guard, was not prepared for this!”  He clenched his jaw and his whole body tightened as though preparing to lunge out of the carriage.  But then he caught sight of Charlotte, her face, her eyes brimming with tears.  His body immediately uncoiled and he moved across the carriage to sit beside her.  “Charlotte, Charlotte, please forgive me, had I known, had I paid closer attention.  God, what a fool I was.  I am so sorry.”  </p><p>She let the tears fall as he wrapped his arms around her.  “I simply cannot manage with her.  She brings up so many hurtful memories and then to hear her say those types of terrible things… Sidney, it was as if she was describing my worst possible nightmare.”</p><p>“Charlotte” he whispered into her hair, “You must know that you are my life.  You are more than I dared to hope for and I would never do anything to jeopardize our love.  You are everything.”  </p><p>She kept her head buried in his chest.  "But I am not everything.  You have a life in London of which I know nothing."</p><p>"Because that life means nothing to me!  It is work and empty social obligations.  We have been married so briefly and I have not wanted to waste a moment on those matters.  I have wanted only to be with you.  You will be my London life as well.  We'll start that chapter this week."  He lifted her chin and kissed her wet cheeks.  "You'll see.  You will still be my true north wherever we are."</p><p>Charlotte nodded, wiping her eyes.  "I'm sorry.  I don't mean to doubt your devotion.  I love you Sidney.  So very much.  She simply targets my weaknesses so well."</p><p>"Don't be sorry for a moment.  Mrs Campion is a mistress of connivance.  I must have gone soft with my love for you that I wasn't immediately suspect of her presence.  I won't allow her near you again."  He kissed her forehead and then lips sweetly.  Charlotte leaned in to kiss him again more fully.  He looked at her afterwards, the corner of his mouth curving upwards, inspired.</p><p>He got down on his knees before her on the carriage floor, his hands rubbing her thighs.  "I believe I need to perform an act of contrition, beg my forgiveness, prove my love." He took his jacket off and started unbuttoning his vest.</p><p>"What are you doing?"</p><p>"Sometimes words are not enough." he said, giving her a significant look as he carefully laid his jacket and coat on the bench behind him.</p><p>Charlotte's eyes widened.  "Sidney!  We absolutely cannot!  All of London is outside of this carriage!"</p><p>His hands slipped under her skirt and grabbed onto each of her ankles and began massaging them gently.  "We?  You do not need to do anything.  And all of London is at the banks of the river getting ready to watch the first race." He said impassively, as his hands began to stroke up to her calves.</p><p>"There were people in the area just moments ago.  People watching us fight!  Isn't that why we came in, to get away from prying eyes?!"</p><p>"And you think they're still there?  Staring at a parked carriage?"  He hooked his hands under her knees and quickly pulled her forward, towards the edge of the bench.  She shrieked loudly and then started giggling.  He looked up at her, shaking his head disapprovingly.  “I thought you were the one worried about people outside.”</p><p> </p><p>Eliza had obviously planned to undermine Charlotte but it had gone so much more deliciously than she could have dreamed.  The way Sidney laughed about the races, the way Charlotte had so thoroughly lost her temper.  And now they were fighting in the carriage and she knew she had an exceptional opportunity before her to really damage their reputation and to cause a rift between them.</p><p>She looked around at some of the people who had seen Sidney and Charlotte fighting.  They were shrugging to each other, about to disperse so she said rather loudly, "Oh my what a scene.  Am I right Mrs Porter?  Did you see that Miss Graylord?  Goodness, more heartache on top of an already rocky young marriage.”  She shook her head sadly.  They came towards her and others followed, interested to join in the speculation.  Oh it was so easy to reel people in with gossip.  They gathered around her expectantly.</p><p>She lowered her voice, captivating her audience.  "I know I should not say a word but I simply worry so.  Poor Mrs Parker had nothing to recommend her from the start, you know, a young little thing from a small rural farm.” she said dismissively.  “I've heard that Mr Parker was set to leave her to her ruin before her father stepped in and forced the marriage."  She shook her head.  "And Mr Parker is hardly the man I knew in my youth.  His time in Antigua certainly changed him terribly.  Thank goodness I was able to see him for who he truly is in time to call off our own engagement.  I just shudder to think.  He has a violent streak for certain.  And who will protect this young bride of his I ask you?"</p><p>Just then there was a shriek from inside and the carriage shook.  Eliza looked at the group knowingly.  "I almost feel responsible.  He's clearly having a very difficult time with my presence here."  She sighed.  </p><p> </p><p>Sidney swung one of Charlotte’s legs over his shoulder, kissing his way up her thigh, rolling her skirt up as he went.  He nibbled gently on her inner thigh.  One hand reached up, his fingers beginning to stroke her, circle her center.  Charlotte gasped, reaching her arms out, searching blindly for something to grab on to, something to steady her.  Her sighs and quiet moans were driving him on, anxious to get her approval to begin in earnest.  "Charlotte?"</p><p>"Damnit Sidney." she exhaled, already breathless with desire, her eyes barely open.  "Just.  Just take your shirt off too.  If you're looking for full absolution."</p><p>He rocked back on his heels grinning.  He slipped his suspenders off his shoulders, pulled his shirt over his head and crept up, leaning on her lap, his lips just barely brushing hers.  "I am most heartily seeking full absolution."  The words were scarcely out of his mouth when she kissed him, her hands running over his broad naked shoulders.  His hand snaked its way back under her disheveled skirt and he slipped a finger inside of her.  She moaned against his mouth, her fingernails gripping his back, their kiss becoming more impassioned as his finger thrust in and out.  In time Sidney panted out in between kisses, “Forgive me.  I have.  Something.  I.  Must.  Attend to.”  He broke away and draped her leg over his shoulder again, his head disappearing under the folds of her skirt.</p><p> </p><p>Susan noticed a dozen people gathered at the edge of the crowd, facing away from the tents, with Mrs Campion clearly gossiping in the center.  She strolled over.  "And to think, as I understood it, the next scheduled event was the gentlemen's races at the riverbank but clearly there is another source of excitement I have missed.  Please, do share."</p><p>Every head turned to her and Eliza gave her a smug smile.  A woman spoke up, pleased with herself that she was filling the great Lady Worcester in on such a salacious story.  "Mrs Campion was informing us of Mr Sidney Parker's true nature.  He and his new wife are having quite a violent row in that carriage over there.  There was quite a lot of shouting before they went in."</p><p>Susan raised her eyebrows. "Well that certainly sounds shocking.  I do not hear shouting now though."  She tilted her head towards the carriage, listening.</p><p>"There is much movement though. See the window curtain swinging?   We are fairly worried for Mrs Parker's safety."</p><p>Susan nodded seriously.  "Yes, I can see movement surely."  She held still and the group stood quietly for a moment watching the carriage with her, waiting with bated breath for her verdict.  A moan of obvious pleasure came from inside and Susan had to quickly cover her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.  Eliza’s face went white.</p><p>"I am afraid Mrs Campion may not know the situation as well as she thinks and would do well to mind what she says.  Mr Parker is indeed a passionate man but I clearly do not think it manifests itself in a manner that should lead us to fear for Mrs Parker's safety."  She looked at the group sternly and inclined her head to the riverbank.  "I think it is quite imperative that we make our way to the races and give the Parker's their privacy, in whatever manner they choose to use it."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Not quite the telling off you all hoped for.  I hope this will do. ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Chapter 43</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, I hope everyone had a chance to take a drag off of Sidney's exquisite cigarette holder.  J/K smoking's not good for you, not even post-coitally. </p><p>Let's head back to the festivities.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I am sorry I missed your race today Mr Broussard.  I heard it was an exceptional win.”  Broussard, Georgiana, Sidney and Charlotte stood on the boardwalk all enjoying the breezy, cool evening after a long day out in the sun.  </p><p>“Thank you Mr Parker.  We were feeling pretty pleased with ourselves until we went up against Mr Stringer in the finals.”  Broussard answered.</p><p>Sidney chuckled.  “Yes, Mr Stringer is a formidable opponent.  I’m afraid his victory is turning out to be an annual regatta tradition.”</p><p>“And you, sir, your team did admirably as well.”  </p><p>Sidney chuckled again.  “That’s most kind of you.  It was a valiant attempt but as it turns out I simply had other, more gripping, things on my mind today.”  Sidney’s arm was wrapped around Charlotte’s waist and he subtly tightened his hold on her, his thumb stroking her side.  She bit her lip and looked away, smiling.  Georgiana noticed and averted her eyes, shaking her head, amused. </p><p>Mary, Tom, Arthur and Diana walked over and joined them, Tom carrying a tray of champagne for their group.  For the moment things were exactly the way everyone wanted them to be; easy, companionable, happy.  They shared a feeling of great relief.  The biggest event of the year had gone off swimmingly.  Lady Denham was pleased with the turn out and while she was quite put out that the Prince Regent had not been able to make it, she still seemed uncharacteristically giddy about her dedication ceremony tomorrow during the ball.  Sanditon was finally in a good, relatively secure place.  It would never be the explosive success that Tom had dreamed but it was well regarded and enjoyed specifically for the diversion and leisure they had created, the spiritedness of the town.</p><p>In the midst of their modest celebration though, Sidney noticeably tensed at Charlotte’s side.  He leaned down to whisper, “She’s here.  I’m going to have a word with her.”  He stepped back, out of the circle.  Charlotte followed him and put her hand on his forearm.</p><p>“You cannot Sidney.  It will surely cause a scene.”</p><p>"Hm, I don't seem to remember you worrying about causing a scene earlier today."  He said, cocking his head and squinting at her.</p><p>"I was well within my rights but the moment has passed now.  I don't give a fig what she says.  You have given me the strength I need to fire back if she were to speak to me again."</p><p>“But she should not even have the opportunity to speak to you like that again.  She should have never felt she had the right in the first place.”  At that moment Eliza saw them from across the crowd and made eye contact with Sidney.  He glared at her and started walking forward.  Charlotte grabbed his arm again.</p><p>“Please.  Please.  Let us just ignore her.  She came to cause trouble and I will not give her the satisfaction.  Let’s walk the beach instead.  Please Sidney.  She doesn't matter.”</p><p>He looked down at her imploring eyes.  “If she dares to come near you so help me God...”</p><p>“Yes, yes, come.”  Charlotte said.  She pulled him close against her side and leaned her head on his arm as they walked away.</p><p> </p><p>Georgiana had seen Sidney and Charlotte whispering and looked over her shoulder to see Eliza entering the gazebo.  Lady Susan had pulled Georgiana aside during the races that afternoon.  “It seems Mrs Campion is trying to besmirch Sidney and Charlotte.  I caught her just now spreading altogether nasty rumors.  I put a stop to it and she left quite embarrassed but for the sake of our friends, please help me to keep a close eye on her.”</p><p>Now without thinking twice Georgiana walked right up to Eliza, stopping only when she was inches away.</p><p>“Miss Lambe, my goodness.  How nice to see you.”  Eliza said leaning back slightly,  uncomfortable with Georgiana’s close range.</p><p>“I don’t know what your aim is with Mr and Mrs Parker but if I see you so much as breathe in their direction I will have you escorted out of town.”</p><p>Eliza laughed loudly and touched Georgiana’s shoulder.  Georgiana pulled back scowling.  “Oh little Miss Lambe, look at your confidence.  You know you have no power to escort me out of town.”</p><p>“You are acting ridiculously, trying to toy with a man who holds you in no affection whatsoever.  He has found true happiness and love elsewhere.  It would be in your very best interest to leave them be.”</p><p>Eliza smirked.  “It’s sweet that you defend him so strongly, especially in light of the things I’ve heard him say about you.  Regrettably, they were less than pleasant.”</p><p>Georgiana’s hand was itching to slap her.  She straightened her back, wishing she was taller, and leveled her eyes firmly at Eliza.  "It's funny, he didn't speak of you often at all.  He was too preoccupied speaking of Charlotte I suppose."  </p><p>Mr Stringer appeared at Georgiana's elbow.  He had noticed Eliza’s presence early in the day and it had surprised him, leaving him to wonder why she would possibly want to be in Sanditon again.  “Miss Lambe, is everything alright here?”</p><p>She looked at him matter of factly.  “Mr Stringer, thank you, no, everything is not alright.  It seems Mrs Campion is trying to cause trouble for Mr and Mrs Sidney Parker.  She is an altogether foul woman with foul intentions.”</p><p>Mr Stringer glanced at Eliza with disdain and turned back to Georgiana.  As she was a lady, and well above his station, it was not his place to attack her directly.  “It would be foolish indeed to try to bring any harm to the Parkers when they are obviously so beloved and well regarded.  I imagine it would be in Mrs Campion’s best interest to simply go home to London where she belongs.  This is hardly the place for her if that is her intent.”</p><p>“Yes, thank you.  We are of the same mind.”  Georgiana said to Mr Stringer.  She turned back to Eliza.  “You are right.  We cannot make you leave but we can certainly make your stay very uncomfortable.”</p><p>“Are you making a threat?”</p><p>“No, simply stating a fact.  All actions have reactions, Mrs Campion.  And here, there are many people that would react on Mr and Mrs Parker’s behalf.”</p><p>"You think you're so clever."  Eliza sneered.  But she knew Georgiana was right.  It simply wasn't worth the effort here, it had already backfired on her once today due to the protection of their circle of friends.  She shook her head in frustration and turned on her heels, walking back towards the Terrace.</p><p>Mr Stringer nodded his head at Georgiana.  “Well done, Miss Lambe.  They are lucky to have such a loyal friend in you.”</p><p>Georgiana smiled at him.  “Same to you Mr Stringer.  Thank you for your aid.”  </p><p>“Anytime.”  He gestured towards Mr Broussard.  “You go enjoy the rest of the evening with your beau.  We’re all going to miss you, you know, when the bloke whisks you off to America.”  He winked at her and she playfully waved him off before heading back. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Midsummer Ball was very well attended.  Due to financial constraints there would only be two balls this summer, the next one to be held the second to last weekend of August.  Therefore everyone in Sanditon was absolutely decked out in their very best, ready to make the most of the evening.  </p><p>Charlotte wore the rose colored gown she had worn to the Harvest Ball and Sidney's breath caught the moment he saw her emerge with it on.  He walked up to her and gently lifted a hand, his fingers slowly trailing up her stomach, feeling the smooth fabric.  His fingers slid up along the side of her breast and then delicately traced along her neckline.  He cleared his throat and looked at her, "I am pleased that we will have the chance to rewrite the history of this dress tonight."</p><p>Charlotte blushed and asked coyly.  "You remember it?"</p><p>Sidney tilted his head, looking at her dress again. "Yes. I remember it very well."  He kissed her.  "At last, tonight I will be the one monopolizing your time on the dance floor."</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte couldn't help but immediately scan for Eliza as she entered the Assembly Room on Sidney's arm.  She was sure he was doing the same.  Lady Susan came forward to meet them.  "She is not here." She said breezily without even greeting them properly.</p><p>"No?" Charlotte asked perplexed.  She thought for sure that after her successful digs yesterday she would surely be prepared to push it further today.  </p><p>"No, word is that she left sometime this morning."</p><p>"But…" Charlotte lowered her voice.  "She said some very hurtful things to me yesterday.  I thought for sure she would try to cause trouble again tonight."</p><p>"It seems that she realized there was nothing here for her." Susan shrugged one shoulder casually.  </p><p>Sidney lowered an eyebrow.  "And it seems that you know more than you are letting on."</p><p>"It seems." She answered with a cryptic grin.  Sidney and Charlotte stood waiting for more but it was soon clear that Susan would reveal nothing else.</p><p>Charlotte chuckled.  "Well.  Whatever may have happened I believe we will all have a happier evening because of it.  Shall we get this building dedicated and commence dancing?" </p><p> </p><p>Georgiana had been a bundle of fluttering nerves all evening.  Broussard would be leaving Sanditon later next week although he had intimated several times that they would not need to part if they did not wish.  She was almost sure that he would propose tonight.  It was the perfect setting after all.  She had worn her favorite green satin gown and had Crockett take extra care with her hair, wanting to look her very best.  When he asked to escort her for some fresh air on the patio she looked around the room, taking in the moment, preparing herself for this new stage of her life.</p><p>They walked to the edge of the patio, overlooking the sea.  He smiled softly at her and took her hands in his, pressing them ardently.  "My darling Miss Lambe, the last few weeks have been an absolute joy for me.  When I left home I never could have imagined I would happen upon such a beautiful, thrilling and brilliant woman such as yourself."</p><p>Georgiana found herself looking over his shoulder at the water.  The sound of the waves seemed to be pulling her away for him, his words.  She couldn't focus.  She squirmed a little and attempted to pull her hands back.  "Mr Broussard…"</p><p>"Jean Robert, please." He whispered, his voice earnest, his hands holding hers fast.</p><p>Georgiana sighed and looked up at him, tears starting to build.  "I'm afraid I have to stop you."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Chapter 44</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh boy.  My two year is restless lately.  I always attempt to get a bit of writing in early in the morning while the kids are watching cartoons.  But he's lost interest in tv and instead is in the habit of climbing on the kitchen counter and unloading the knife block and then while I'm putting the knives away he dumps out a cereal box and draws on the wall and then he attacks the laptop and adds gibberish to this story.  All of this is to say:</p><p>1.) I'm not ready for kidlottes.  Dr Fuchs is putting Charlotte on birth control. 🤣<br/>2.) I'm not sure I'm ready to publish this chapter but at this rate it could be weeks otherwise.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney had seen Georgiana and Broussard leave for the patio.  He knew this would be the moment.  He danced with Charlotte, distracted now, watching the door.</p><p>"I think he's proposing to her now."</p><p>"Do you think so really?  How exciting!  I cannot wait to hear from her."</p><p>But within minutes Broussard emerged alone.  He strode across the ballroom.  Gerard and Gagne met him, both looking quizzical.  He spoke very briefly to them and then disappeared out the front entrance.</p><p>"She's refused him."</p><p>Charlotte's head shot up.  "What?  How do you know?"</p><p>"He just left without her.  Charlotte, forgive me, I must go speak with her."</p><p>"Shall I join you?"</p><p>He kissed her hand.  "Could you possibly give us a moment alone first before you join us?"</p><p>"Of course."</p><p> </p><p>Sidney came across Georgiana sitting on a stone bench on the patio weeping, her face in her hands.  He walked over and sat beside her.  Without looking up she knew it was him and allowed herself to fall on his shoulder.  He wrapped his arm around her and fished his handkerchief out of his pocket to hand to her.</p><p>"I just couldn't bring myself to say yes.  I told myself I would but then the moment came and I couldn't.  I couldn't do it Sidney."</p><p>"Then he wasn't the right man for you."</p><p>“But he was the right man.  It was almost as if I summoned him from a dream.  He was so perfect.  Even better than I could have dared to hope for.” She sobbed.  "What's wrong with me?  Why?"</p><p>He shushed her gently.  "Nothing.  Absolutely nothing."  They sat together quietly for several minutes until her crying began to slow.  She took a deep shuddering breath and settled herself, remaining on his shoulder.  Charlotte appeared at the doorway to the patio, waiting on the threshold.  Sidney inclined his head to the bench, inviting her over.  She came and sat on the other side of Georgiana and rested her hand on Georgiana’s knee.</p><p>Georgiana lifted herself upright and looked at Charlotte, smiling smally.  “Thank you.”  She whispered.  “I know I have not been especially kind to either of you lately.”</p><p>Sidney sat silently and rubbed her arm.  “That’s no matter.”  Charlotte answered.  “Are you alright?  What happened?” </p><p>Georgiana shook her head slightly.  "It just.  Something wasn't right.  Wouldn't let me say yes.”</p><p>“Was it the sugar trade?”  Sidney asked gently.</p><p>Georgiana took a deep breath and thought for a moment.  “I think it gave me pause, slowed my obsession a bit.” she chuckled ruefully to herself.  “We discussed it weeks ago.  He spoke of the importance of power and money in America and how it allowed them influence and the ability to further the cause in many other ways.  All the same, he said he would sell off the business if it bothered me terribly.  Really, I think he would have done it too.  But maybe that was a problem.  Maybe I didn’t want to have to tell him what was right.”</p><p>Sidney nodded silently.</p><p>“I don’t think we knew each other.  Didn’t truly understand each other.  It wasn’t the same.”  Her head dropped.  They sat quietly.</p><p>“The same as Mr Molyneux?” Charlotte prompted after a pause. </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Sidney inhaled deeply.  “And what does that mean for you?”</p><p>Georgiana scoffed.  “Nothing.  It means nothing anymore.  Except I suppose that perhaps now no one else will ever be enough.  The man that completed me also broke me.”  The silence settled again, Charlotte and Sidney exchanging a look over Georgiana’s bowed head.  She resumed.  “And the fact of the matter is that in the end Jean Robert’s love for me and my affection for him was not enough.  Not enough to leave here and…” she hesitated slightly, “to leave you.  Sanditon is important to me.  The two of you are important to me.  This life, this life that I didn’t want, now means more to me than the life I could have built with him.”</p><p>Sidney raised her chin and looked her in the eye.  “You should be proud that you have created a home for yourself, a life that you are reluctant to leave.  It is much to your credit.  As for leaving us, Georgiana, we are family.  We will always be with you wherever you are.  Always.”  His voice was thick with emotion. </p><p>Georgiana’s eyes welled over with tears as she took in his face, his sincerity.  “God, you are an insufferable guardian, making me resume my tears after they had finally subsided!”  She said as she dropped back onto his shoulder.  He chuckled softly.  She sighed.  “Thank you Sidney.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Would you care to have a drink with me in the study before we turn in for the night?”  Charlotte and Sidney had relaxed at home on Sunday, briefly calling on Georgiana to check on her and then set off for London on Monday, arriving late that afternoon.  Charlotte was tired from the carriage ride and now that she had bathed and eaten she just wanted to fall into bed but she could sense that he really wanted her company so she agreed.</p><p>They stepped into the study and Charlotte was immediately transported back to the last time they were in this room, the evening Sidney told her he had left Mrs Campion, that he chose her.  He poured them brandy in the corner as she simply stood looking around the room, as if she was watching the past play out before her.  He observed her state and walked over, putting both of the glasses on a side table rather than in their hands.  He cupped her face in his warm hands.  “Are you thinking about that night?”  She nodded almost imperceptibly, looking into his eyes, her head swimming with everything that had come before, everything that they had been through to now be freely in this room together.   He nodded back seriously.  He bent his head down and kissed her slowly, seductively.  Their arms wrapped around each other and her heart began to race.  “I think”, he said as he started to walk her backwards, his arms protectively around her, guiding her.  “I think the last time we were in this room together we were right here.” His words came out a whisper, affecting her instantly.  Her back touched the wall.  “Right here, like this.”  His hands began to travel her body, his hips starting to roll against her.  “And I think I was desperately longing to do this.”  He hoisted her up, wrapping her legs around him and thrusted forcefully against her.  Charlotte gasped and then exhaled slowly, clinging to him, no longer tired.</p><p>“I think I would have let you.  I think I wanted you to.”  They kissed fervently, moving in tandem, taken by the memories of those intense, early desires.  Her hands stroked up and down his arms, feeling his muscles flexed, engaged as they held her up.</p><p>“All winter when Georgiana and I were staying here I would sit here in the evenings and write such proper letters to your family, precious stories about mice and then, then I would have the most wicked thoughts about you, the things I would do with you when you were mine.”  Sidney said looking her straight in the eye, still thrusting against her.  </p><p>“Show me.”  It came out rough and desperate.  His lips assaulted hers as he pulled her off the wall and carried her across the room to the desk.  He laid her back, her chest heaving in excitement, pulling slightly out of her stays.  He flipped her skirt up and then leaned over her, his hands planted on either side of her on the desk.  Her eyes were bright and hungry, her lips swollen, soft, irresistible.  He lowered himself and took her lower lip between his teeth, biting it gently, sucking on it.  Charlotte’s arm outstretched towards his pants, trying to get to his buttons but unable to reach.  She gave up a little groan of frustration and she felt him smile against her mouth.  He took her hands and pinned them on either side of her head and went back to kissing her, his mouth migrating to the hollow of her throat, licking up her neck.  He kissed her along her delicate collarbone, her decolletage.  All the while his erection straining against his pants, against her, so close.  She writhed slightly under his hold, wanting him.</p><p>“Don’t move.” he whispered in her ear as he lifted his hands off of hers.  He pulled his head back and arched an eyebrow at her.  He quickly undid his pants and was immediately inside of her.  It was hurried and rough.  Charlotte’s body slid back and forth on the desktop, something fell to the floor with a large thud, awkwardly rolling noisily along the floor.  Sidney stood over her, his thumb rolling over his clitoris, as he kept pace.  He watched from above as she lost herself.  He then slid his forearms under her, lifting her body slightly off of the desk as he leaned down into her, wanting her closer for his own climax.  She took the opportunity to grab his face, to kiss him.  “I love you.  I love you.” she panted and he was gone.</p><p> </p><p>Afterwards they slid to the floor, lying side by side on the plush Persian rug.  “So that’s what you thought of while writing about the mice?”  Charlotte asked in jest.</p><p>Sidney barked out a single laugh, pulling her closer.  “No, no.  The mice were written with all earnesty, no perversion.”</p><p>“I should hope so.  We read them all together as a family.  That could be quite...unnerving.” she said and then giggled.  </p><p>Sidney looked around and extended his long arm under the desk with a grunt.  He pulled back something shiny and round.  “This is what inspired the mice.”  He turned it in his palm, his other arm still under Charlotte.  It was a small globe made of two types of marble, the land masses delicately inlayed into the oceans.  He offered it to Charlotte and she took it carefully in her hands, turning it over, enjoying its cool weight.  “It was a gift from an old friend who’s in the East Indies.  I would look at it and imagine all of the places where I could be happy living with you.  As it happens, it’s all of them.”  She smiled and nuzzled his shoulder, before turning back to the globe, carefully tracing the outlines of the continents with her index finger.</p><p>“Oh, Sidney, I’m afraid it chipped.  Look.”  She pointed to a small divet in the Pacific Ocean, a patch of roughness in the middle of its smooth, polished surface.</p><p>“Ah, yes, it did take quite a tumble from its stand.  Well, now it’s just another memory it holds, one I’ll be happy to revisit”</p><p>Charlotte set the globe aside and rolled on top of him, her chin resting on his chest.  “You were right, you know.  I think I will very much enjoy our London life as well.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Chapter 45</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Memorial day!  In lieu of potato salad I come bearing a chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney took Charlotte to the office with him on Tuesday morning.  He introduced her to some of his associates and relished in the pride of bringing his bright and beautiful wife to work.  He sent her off in the carriage afterwards to Beatrice and Stephen's where he would meet her that evening for dinner.  Their intimate dinner party was easy and delightful.  Stephen joked about all of the country habits Sidney could acquire to really win the favor of his father in law.  “Be warned Sidney.  My brother won’t fully trust you until you’ve spent a day in a pigsty.”  They all laughed knowing full well that it was the truth.  </p><p>Sidney had tickets for the opera that week and was so excited that, as he had daydreamed last fall, he would be the one to escort Charlotte in, to witness her first experience with the opulent London opera.  He had also mapped out a thorough tour of his favorite spots in London.  They would take the curricle, just the two of them, in the open air.  It would give her the perfect opportunity to really see everything.  He made sure that there would be no social engagements besides the dinner with her aunt and uncle.  This way Charlotte could relax into life in London without any outside stress.</p><p>On top of Sidney’s necessary time in the office and their plans for pleasure and touring they had added another item to their short London itinerary.  They had discussed the matter quite a bit but on arriving at Otis's place of work on Wednesday morning they still weren't quite sure it was the right choice.  They stood on the street outside looking up at the entrance.  Charlotte was hesitating, her face screwed up in thought.  Sidney straightened his shoulders, lifted his chin and made for the door.</p><p>When they appeared in front of his desk, Otis stood and looked at them as if they were the grim reaper himself.  "What… Miss  Lambe… What?". He stumbled over his words.  He shook his head and directed his eyes to Charlotte.  "Tell me she is alright." </p><p>Charlotte smiled apologetically, "Oh yes Mr Molyneux.  We didn't mean to alarm you."</p><p>He dropped his hand on his desk, steadying himself with relief.  He let out a breath and shook his head again slightly.  His brow furrowed and he looked back up at them, new concerns and questions building.  "To what then do I owe this pleasure Miss Heywood, Mr Parker?"</p><p>Sidney's eyes slid over to Charlotte.   She blushed and corrected Otis.  "It's actually Mrs Parker now."</p><p>Otis looked between the two of them, eyebrows knitting even closer.  He blinked, processing the news.  "Well congratulations of course.  How happy for you."</p><p>Sidney cleared his throat.  "Mr Molyneux, may we speak briefly in private?"  He gestured around the office, several employees at their desks, watching interestedly.</p><p>"Of course."  Otis nodded and led them out to the hall. </p><p>Sidney glanced around, making sure there was no one in the area and then leaned in and spoke in a low voice.  "I need to know if you have taken to gambling again."</p><p>This was certainly the most surprisingly, uncomfortable visit Molyneux had ever endured, well of course besides the last time Charlotte and Sidney had sought him out.  "Mr Parker, if you are seeking repayment, I could not offer you the full amount now but could arrange for regular payments with your banker."</p><p>"No. No.  I am not calling in a debt.  That was freely given, not loaned.  What I need to know is if you have fallen to your vice again."</p><p>"No sir.  I have not." Otis was embarrassed and angry.  He could not understand why in heaven's name they would be here, accosting him at his place of work about such humiliating matters.  He looked to Charlotte questioningly but she was watching his face the same way Sidney was, as if she was reading him closely.  </p><p>Sidney nodded.  He had actually asked Crowe to keep an eye out for Molyneux after he had witnessed him and Georgiana together at the ball in March.  He had recognized the look of longing, of lost love, written clearly on Otis's face.  Being well acquainted with that feeling himself, he felt it was in his best interest to be proactive and have some idea of what Molyneux was now up to.  Crowe, who frequented just about every site of every vice in London, had not seen him anywhere over the months.</p><p>"Any run-ins with the law?" Sidney continued.</p><p>"No!  Why?  What is the meaning of this?"</p><p>Sidney leaned forward slightly, his face serious and Otis pulled back his frustration, not interested in provoking him.  "Any lovers or romantic connections?"</p><p>Otis exhaled in annoyance but answered quietly.  "No."  He looked at Sidney.  "Mr Parker, I don't see why you are here asking such, frankly, inappropriate questions."  He glanced again at Charlotte but she was still looking at him intently, biting her lip.</p><p>"Miss Lambe received a proposal of marriage from a Mr Broussard.  I believe you may actually be publishing with him."</p><p>"Oh."  Otis's face fell.  "I… Yes, I have been in correspondence with Mr Broussard.  He...I can see that being a very happy match for them."</p><p>"Yes, well-" Sidney started but Charlotte blurted out over him, "She refused him!"</p><p>Otis's head was spinning.  There was too much going on with absolutely no clarity to any of it.  "Why are you here?"  He pleaded, looking from Charlotte to Sidney and back again.</p><p>Sidney sighed.  "We believe that part of the reason she refused him was that she still holds you in her heart."  Otis looked at him blankly.  Sidney started again slowly, almost reluctantly, "We believe that perhaps you should see each other."</p><p>"But to what end?!"  Otis was getting heated.  "I cannot see your meaning.  What could be the purpose of such a meeting?"  Sidney and Charlotte exchanged a look, their concerns about coming here clearly founded.  They were meddling perhaps quite a bit more than they should.  A clerk entered the hall and the three of them stood quietly, looking awkwardly at each other, waiting for him to move on.  When they were alone again Otis resumed.  "If you are asking me to free her I can write her a letter but I hardly think that's necessary.  She has made it very clear that she no longer held me in any regard after, after all that passed."</p><p>"She is not free of you, despite what she may have said, and perhaps she should not be free of you.  Mr Molyneux, I've never seen Georgiana happier than when she was with you."  Charlotte offered earnestly.</p><p>Otis looked at her, tilting her head.  "Miss Hey- Mrs Parker, I could never be deserving of her again.  Pray, do not make such a suggestion.  I cannot bear to reflect on what I have lost." He turned away and then looked back at them and nodded curtly. "Forgive me, I must be returning to my work."</p><p>Charlotte grabbed Sidney's sleeve and looked up at him anxiously.  His jaw clenched and his voice came out clear.  "Do you love her Molyneux?"  </p><p>Otis glanced over his shoulder and scoffed, then continued walking back to the office door.</p><p>"Do you love her?" Sidney's voice raised slightly.</p><p>Otis stopped but didn't turn around to face them.  "She owns my heart." He answered simply. </p><p>"Then whether you think you deserve her or not, if you own her heart and she owns yours, is that worth nothing?"  Charlotte was still gripping Sidney’s coat sleeve and he subconsciously reached to tenderly cover her hand with his as he spoke.</p><p>Otis's head dropped with a sigh but he did not answer.</p><p>"We return to Sanditon on Friday morning.  If you wish to accompany us, be at Bedford Place by 9:00.  Good day."</p><p>"Good day." Otis responded quietly, still without turning, rooted to the floor.  Sidney offered Charlotte his arm and they left.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It had felt so wonderful waking next to Charlotte in Bedford Place this week, to have his family’s London home now be her home as well.  It was yet another reminder that this was not fleeting joy, that their lives were eternally joined.  </p><p>“Your bed here is much nicer than ours.  This has been quite comfortable.”  She snuggled up to Sidney and sighed contentedly.</p><p>“Oh yes, I very much prefer this bed.  It was a pretty extravagant purchase when I returned from Antigua.  I thought of having it sent to Denham Place for us before we were wed.  I’m afraid the mattresses there are not quite up to snuff.”</p><p>“No, certainly not like this.  But let’s keep it here.  It’ll be our luxurious London bed.”  She yawned, stretching and he chuckled softly.</p><p>They laid there quietly, their warm bare bodies nestled into each other.  Sidney traced lazy circles on Charlotte’s arm, her back.  He assumed she had fallen back to sleep but then he felt her intake a breath as if to speak and then hesitate and release it.  “Yes?” he murmured.</p><p>“I…” she hid her face in his side.  “I am a little embarrassed to admit this but when we stayed here last summer I desperately wanted to see this room.  I was so curious to see what your room would look like, your bed.”</p><p>“Why would that embarrass you?” he laughed.</p><p>“Well we weren’t yet romantically involved and my urge to see it I think stemmed from a...romantic type of urge.”  She looked up at him and smiled, lifting an eyebrow suggestively.</p><p>“Oh my, the innocent Miss Heywood and her urges.” he voice rumbled softly.  His hand swept down to her bottom and gave it a squeeze.  “Hmm... and what would I have done if you had happened into the room while I was there, I wonder." he contemplated.</p><p>"What indeed?"</p><p>"Oh surely there would have been explosive lust."  Sidney answered confidently, gripping her to him illustratively.</p><p>Charlotte laughed in surprise, pushing back on his chest.  "No!  Not then.  Hardly."  She let her hand linger, her fingers brushing over his collarbone lovingly.</p><p>He cocked his head challengingly.  "You don't think so?  Well I suppose you're right.  It would be more along the lines of uncomfortable, formal conversation."  He conceded. </p><p>"You probably would have scolded me for sticking my nose where it didn't belong."</p><p>"You probably would have deserved it for invading my privacy."</p><p>They smiled at each other and then Sidney rolled over top of her, his hand tenderly stroking through her hair fanned out on the pillow.  His face was hovering just above hers and he nudged her nose gently with his.  "Well I can guarantee you that whatever I would have said or done, I would have been thinking about this."  He inclined his head slightly indicating their current position and kissed her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you're not on Twitter I made the announcement that we're down to our last chapters.  Only two more to go now!  I'm planning for them to be posted on Wednesday and Friday.  Putting that out in the universe and willing good writing/editing days into existence!</p><p>Thanks as always for your outrageously kind support.  You all are so lovely!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Chapter 46</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“How was London?  You are back so soon!”  Georgiana happily greeted them as Crockett led Charlotte and Sidney into the drawing room on Saturday morning.  She then caught sight of Otis entering behind Sidney and her breath caught.  "What in God's name do you think you're doing?"  The words rushed out of her mouth, hushed, hurt, furious, and directed squarely at Sidney.</p><p>Sidney tried not to flinch.  He had obviously expected as much.  "As your guardian it is my duty to recommend potential suitors to you, men that may be a worthy match.  I am simply fulfilling my obligation." Georgiana shot daggers with her eyes.  He continued on before she could get her bearings enough to let her stubbornness set in.  "Come, the four of us will go out together." He held the door open.  She huffed and then pushed passed the three of them, glaring at Sidney and Charlotte as she passed.  </p><p>They filed out of the Terrace.  Otis sidled up to Georgiana on the street.  "Please know that I would never be so bold as to presume I could court you again.  The Parker's came to me."</p><p>Georgiana held her head high and did not dare to look at him.  "I don't doubt that for a moment." She quickened her pace and he slowed down, allowing her space.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney led them all to the boathouse at the river, a silent walk on a sunny morning, he and Charlotte arm in arm, then Georgiana arms firmly crossed at her chest and finally Otis trailing behind.  On arriving he maintained his casual facade.  "I've arranged two boats for us.  Charlotte, would you do me the pleasure of joining me in my boat?”</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"Excellent.  Mr Molyneux, would you please help me ready the boats?"  Otis followed silently, uncomfortable.</p><p>Georgiana was immediately at Charlotte's side.  "What is the meaning of this?!  How could you?"</p><p>"I'm sorry!  I would have warned you but we knew you would refuse to see him."</p><p>"'We' being you and Sidney?"</p><p>"Sidney, myself and...Arthur."  Charlotte answered nervously.</p><p>"Arthur?!  Arthur betrayed me?"  Georgiana’s hurt grew.</p><p>"Is it a betrayal if we are only trying to help?"</p><p>"Of course it is!  It is behind my back and against my will!"</p><p>Charlotte inhaled and nodded in agreement.  "But Georgiana, you love him still.  You do.  What is the point of fighting it?  He is a good man, who desperately loves you as well."</p><p>Georgiana had tears building in her eyes and shook her head angrily.  "You don't know what it was like to be compromised, to be sold by the man you love!  How can we move forward from that?"</p><p>Charlotte gently placed her hands on both of Georgiana's arms.  "I don't know.  You are right.  I do not know what it is to be in your position but you are choosing to believe the words of your captor and not the words of the man you love.  Otis's weakness was taken advantage of but he did not sell you.  See how it feels to be with him again.  We will send him away immediately if you wish.  But perhaps, if you could create a happy life together, why let it slip through your fingers?"</p><p> </p><p>They rowed silently.  Georgiana was especially incensed knowing that Charlotte had probably come up with the idea of the row boats, thinking of the day of their romantic but ill fated picnic last summer.  She refused to meet Otis’s eyes but he was avoiding hers so thoroughly that she was able to steal glances at him, take him in.  His proximity made her heart race.  His handsome face, his manly frame still thrilled her against her will. But most troubling of all was that sitting across from him felt like a homecoming.</p><p> </p><p>“We arrived last evening.”  Otis spoke softly, his eyes locked safely on the shoreline.  “I was able to walk the boardwalk at sunrise this morning.  It’s a spectacular addition.  It seems you have made some remarkable progress for the town over the last few months.”  Georgiana listened intently but without letting on, desperately trying to maintain her guard.  “I am not surprised by your capability, your brilliance.  I knew that all along.  But...I am very proud of you, very happy for you Miss Lambe.”</p><p>She shrunk inside at the sound of her formal address on his lips.  “Thank you.  It has been an...affirming experience.”</p><p>“You deserve the respect and esteem that I’m sure is shown to you.”</p><p>“Thank you.  And you?  How have you been Mr Molyneux?” she asked politely.</p><p>He allowed the corner of his mouth to turn up just slightly, pleased that she was choosing to continue the conversation.  “I have been fine, thank you.  I am still with Harding Brothers.  Much of my time outside of work has been dedicated to the Sons of Africa.  I believe we are gaining more traction.”</p><p>“I uh, I heard you might be published in America.”  Georgiana said awkwardly, immediately regretting that she even brought it up.  </p><p>Otis cleared his throat.  “Yes, um, nothing has finalized.”</p><p>“Yes.”  She looked away.</p><p>Otis looked at Georgiana and then quickly looked away.  He watched the horizon, rowing silently.  At length he took a deep breath and turned his eyes back to her.  “Georgiana, this is all terribly unexpected and probably ill advised but I feel it would be foolish for me to not reveal my heart while you are here before me.  I do not feel I deserve you, your love.  The danger I committed you to, although unwittingly, is unforgettable, unforgivable.  I have no misconceptions about that but please know that you have never left my mind, my heart for a moment in the months since.  If, if you were ever to feel that you could…" He sighed heavily.  He couldn't even bring himself to say it.  "You hold my heart Georgiana, you always will."</p><p>Georgiana did not look at him, did not respond.  He nodded to himself and began to point the boat towards shore with the expectation that she had had enough.  But after a couple minutes of silence she spoke, her eyes downcast, her voice quiet but strong.  “I felt, after everything that happened, that perhaps our connection only seemed so powerful because I had no one else.  When we met there was no one else in the world that understood me but you.  There was no else in the world that loved me but you.  I had no control over my own life.  I was adrift.  You were everything simply because you were all I had."</p><p>She looked up, met his eyes and continued.  "Since then I have found love and companionship in friendships.  I have built a new family for myself.  I no longer feel alone as I did before.  I have purpose and agency.  I am respected.  And yet," her voice wavered slightly, "I have found that still, you are the only person that has ever truly understood me, has seen my soul and known who I am.  And that, that Otis, is what leaves me lost now.  What am I to do with that knowledge?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sidney and Charlotte rowed further down the river.  They could still see Georgiana and Otis's boat in the event things went poorly but there was quite a bit of distance between them, allowing them as much privacy as they could want for what would surely be a complicated and emotional conversation.  </p><p>"We are finally out rowing together again." Sidney said, giving Charlotte a shy smile.</p><p>"Yes, although it is clearly not the same river."  </p><p>"No, not the same.  This river is much preferable.”  Sidney answered.  </p><p>After the events of the Regatta a week ago, after the painful surprise of Eliza’s appearance, neither was terribly interested in reminiscing about their last bittersweet time rowing.  And fortunately, neither felt they needed to speak on it.   It was understood that that was the moment that shifted everything forever.  And clearly it didn’t bring immediate happiness but it revealed their hearts, their desired destination.  </p><p>“Come.  Show me what you remember." Sidney said, extending the oars towards her.</p><p>She took hold of them and he placed his hands over hers again.  It still gave her butterflies to feel his large, warm hands cover hers.  She remembered barely being able to focus a year ago.  The absolute intimacy of it all had made her head swim. </p><p>He pulled the oars in as she pushed out and then held them there, paused after the first stroke.  They both leaned in and kissed softly.  They looked at each other, the sunlight bouncing off of the water, reflecting up on their faces.  </p><p>“I love you.” she said.</p><p>“I love you too.”  It was all they needed to say.  </p><p> </p><p>They rowed slowly, no destination in mind, circling back towards the boathouse each time they headed too far out of view.  They talked, they teased, they waited patiently on Georgiana.  At one point they let the boat float along the current as they watched a heron hunting for fish near the bank.  Suddenly there was a loud splash down the river.  The noise spooked the heron and it took off, flying gracefully over their heads.  Sidney and Charlotte’s heads immediately swiveled to the other boat.  Otis was missing.</p><p>Sidney shook his head in shock.  "What the devil?!  Did she push him in?"  He took hold of the oars and started turning the boat in their direction.</p><p>Charlotte looked across the water.  She could hear Georgiana laughing and saw Otis's head bob up in the water, a loud whoop coming from him.  She laughed.  "No, I think this time his dive is celebratory.  I think she's accepted him."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>AHHH!!!  One more!  You all are great.  See you Friday. ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Chapter 47</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh readers.  We're here.</p><p>This experience has reminded me that the first thing I ever wanted to be in life was an author.  I have memories of sitting at the coffee table as a four year old making books.  Somewhere around middle school I stopped writing and haven't written any fiction, besides maybe a high school assignment, since.  I had honestly forgotten all about that part of me and now I have you to thank for indulging me and making my early dreams come true by being an author with actual readers!</p><p>I've thoroughly enjoyed this and all of your kindness.  I will miss hearing from you.  If you're not on Twitter come obsess about Sanditon there with us.  It's lovely and this Sunday we'll even be having a Q&amp;A with Turlough Convery, aka Arthur!  Come play!</p><p>Thank you!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Georgiana and Otis were married the following weekend.  Sidney did a marvelous job of pretending to be enthused and comfortable with it all.</p><p>“There’s no going back now.  We knew that approaching him in London was ultimately for this result.”  Charlotte gently chided him when they were walking home from their rowboat outing, still processing the news.</p><p>“Of course, I understand.  It’s just...”</p><p>“Careful.”  Charlotte smirked.  “You don’t want to sound like my father do you?”</p><p>The wedding breakfast was hosted by Sidney and Charlotte at Denham Place.   Georgiana and Otis didn’t want the exposure of a breakfast on the boardwalk at the height of the season.  The celebration was small, all of the Parker family, Mr Stringer and Crockett were in attendance.  And Georgiana very reluctantly also invited Mrs Griffiths, Lady Denham and Reverend Hankins.  Immediately afterwards Georgiana and Otis hopped into Sidney's carriage to spend several weeks on their own in London.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney and Charlotte settled into a quiet routine for the tail end of June and duration of July.  Everything was easy and comfortable.  The major events of the season were behind them.  Summer rentals were settled for the year and new contracts were slowly starting to come in for the next.  Georgiana was happily married and Sidney had to admit that, while it was a more emotional change for him than he expected, it was quite a relief to be released from his role as guardian.  </p><p>So for those summer weeks, the Parkers absolutely luxuriated in being together, in living life on their terms.  They each belonged to cricket teams and greatly enjoyed cheering each other on.  There were afternoons spent lazily in the hammock, evenings watching the stars with port, silly games with their nieces and nephews, dinners with family and friends and many cliff top walks.  They couldn't get over how wonderful and free everything could be after such a turbulent and uncertain year.</p><p> </p><p>It had been decided that Allison would come to stay with them for the month of August.  They took a quick overnight trip to Willingden to fetch her and along the way Sidney was still laughing about whether Mr Heywood would actually entrust him with the care of two of his daughters.</p><p>“Oh, you know he loves you.”  Charlotte answered.  She was lying, most endearingly unladylike, on her back on the carriage bench, her head in Sidney's lap.</p><p>Sidney fixed her with a look.  “You know that is not the truth.” he said good naturedly.</p><p>“Well” she smiled, “he accepts you anyway.  And surely he will still come to love you.”</p><p>“I’m not so sure I need his love if it comes at the cost of a day in a pigpen.”  Sidney mused as he combed his fingers through her hair.</p><p> </p><p>Having Allison at Denham Place was absolutely delightful for Charlotte.  They were together at almost all times.  She was so thrilled to have her for such an extended visit, to share her lovely new life with her.  Sidney and Allison got along well and fell into a very comfortable sibling type relationship which made Charlotte so very happy.  </p><p>Sidney found that while he was pleased for Charlotte and enjoyed Allison's company, his days were suddenly emptier.  He spent more time at Trafalgar House, starting to map out plans and possible construction for the fall and winter.  Crowe and Babington were also in town for the month and he whiled away some afternoons and evenings at the Crown with them.  It was nice enough to get back to the work and friendships he had mostly neglected during these early months of marriage but he still far preferred his wife.</p><p>It certainly wasn't a huge burden to have Charlotte’s sister.  He understood it was a sacrifice for Charlotte to be far from her family whom she loved so much.  It was only right that Allison should come stay with them and regularly even.  Yet all the same, he missed having Charlotte to himself, having the house to themselves.  While Allison wouldn’t be offended by things like finding Charlotte and Sidney reclining in each other’s arms reading in the library it would probably make her uncomfortable so Sidney reluctantly gave up some small pleasures and time with his wife in the name of being a decent host.</p><p>Charlotte obviously sensed all of this and arranged outings for Allison with Mary, Diana or Georgiana.  And Allison, in return, was an understanding guest and tried to entertain herself often, to give the newlyweds time to themselves.  In the end they all managed nicely together and Sidney chalked it up to their everyday married life now starting in earnest.</p><p> </p><p>It was one of the last scheduled music nights on the boardwalk for the season.  The end of the summer ball would be in a week and then the rentals would start to empty out as people left vacation behind them for the summer.  Georgiana, Tom and Arthur had been brainstorming cost effective events they could hold over the fall and winter to try to entice visitors in the off season.  But for now they were mostly enjoying the winding down of an exhilarating season.</p><p>"Oh my!  How beautiful it all is!". Allison said in awe as they got out of the carriage outside of the boardwalk.  There were lanterns lining the expanse, tables with vendors selling treats and drinks, the quartet already playing in the gazebo, people swirling in the center.</p><p>Charlotte smiled at her warmly, understanding her awe, her naivety.  "Oh Allison, this is nothing.  Just wait until the ball!"</p><p>Arthur came over and politely invited Allison onto the dance floor.  Charlotte and Sidney watched, grateful that their families got along so well.  Georgiana and Otis came off of the dance floor towards them, Otis flourishing her in a dramatic spin as they approached.  It was clear that they were obscenely happy and Sidney was so pleased for Georgiana, although carrying slight guilt that he had been so harsh and forbidding towards their relationship last year.</p><p>"We have news." Georgiana said, out of breath and giggling.</p><p>Charlotte raised her eyebrows in excited anticipation.  "Do tell!"</p><p>"We're going to Antigua!  We set sail in a fortnight!"  Georgiana trilled, hopping up and down slightly.  Before, with Broussard, the thought of leaving Sanditon had seemed overwhelming, unwanted.  Things were different though with Otis.  She had no fear of traveling away with him, no fear of risking the comfort of her life in Sanditon for an unknown adventure.  She wanted to share as much of her past life as possible with him and to move forward, building a beautiful future together.</p><p>Sidney blinked several times.  "A fortnight?"</p><p>"Yes!"</p><p>"Are you… Will you…?". Sidney was lost for words.</p><p>"Is it a permanent move?" Charlotte picked up his thought for him, almost as shocked as he was.</p><p>"No, we're planning for a year or so and then we'll be back, back here in Sanditon."  Georgiana answered, briefly squeezing Charlotte’s hand, trying to reassure them.  She looked to Sidney.  "I have to go back Sidney.  I need to make my peace at home and then come back here on my own terms."</p><p>Sidney nodded.  "No, of course.  I understand.  You caught me off guard is all."  He was clearly still rather shaken.</p><p>"It sounds like a wonderful adventure for you both."  Charlotte said.  "Of course we will miss you terribly though."</p><p>"I will miss you both so much as well.  You will try not to make me an Auntie while I'm away won't you?"</p><p>Charlotte laughed.  "Georgiana!  I don’t think we have much say in the matter."</p><p>Georgiana gave Charlotte an exasperated look.  “Well of course you do but I can’t imagine either of you...well nevermind.”  She laughed.  “One is fine, just try not to be a mother of two by the time we return.”</p><p>Sidney found himself blushing and shaking his head.  "Control your wife Molyneux."  He said jokingly.  Otis tipped his head at him slightly, his mouth pressed into a firm line, trying not to laugh at his wife’s indelicacy.  </p><p>"You know as well as I that's not possible.  Why don't I get us some wine?  I think a few toasts are in order." Otis said.</p><p>"I'll join you." Sidney offered.  The men returned shortly with a bottle of wine and glasses.  The four of them happily drank as Sidney and Georgiana reminisced about their favorite aspects of life in Antigua and regaled Charlotte and Otis with stories.  Eventually Allison and the other Parkers joined them and more wine was poured as the news spread further.  As the group got larger and the conversation more varied, Sidney turned to Charlotte.  “Would you care to dance?”  She smiled and was very agreeable to stealing some time together, away from their families.</p><p>Dancing with Sidney was always thrilling.  He was an excellent partner, moving fluidly yet leading firmly.  Following him on the dance floor was like floating, it was so easy and seamless.  But he was also a very expressive partner, pulling her closer than needed, altering his hold on her to make every move just a bit more intimate, to speak through motion alone.  Charlotte usually found herself flushed with excitement and attraction after every dance with him.</p><p>Tonight however, the amount of celebratory wine they drank with Otis and Georgiana was certainly having its effect.  Sidney’s desire to hold tight to Charlotte amidst change was physically manifested.  He was positively amorous on the floor, his hands lingering where they didn't belong, his grip on her waist tight.  He kept leading her in a manner that resulted in her breasts continually brushing against his chest and he would watch her face as if challenging her to do something about it.  And then his thigh would be pressed against hers and it was just too much.  It was all sending tingling waves of arousal through her, his hold, his look.  </p><p>When the set of songs ended they remained frozen in position, his one hand holding hers against his chest, his other hand on the small of her back, her other hand on his upper arm.  They looked at each other panting, yearning. </p><p>“I think we should go.”  Charlotte said breathlessly, her eyes wide.</p><p>He struggled to speak, his eyes locked to hers.  "We can’t. Your sister.”  </p><p>Charlotte swallowed.  “Yes.  Allison.” The music started again and the other dancers began to move around them but they remained still in their hold at the far edge of the dance floor.  She tore her eyes from his and watched as she slowly dragged her index finger down his bicep and then back up.  “I…” Her voice trailed like her finger.  And then he could see the shift as it suddenly occurred.  She had an idea.  “Sidney” she said coyly and looked up at him.  “We have been terribly remiss.”</p><p>“Oh?”  He was having trouble pulling himself together.</p><p>She slid her hand up to his shoulder and then to his upper back, pulling them even closer together.  He ducked his head, so desperate to kiss her, watching her lips as she spoke.  “We were supposed to inspect the bathing machines at the start of the season and we have done no such thing.” she whispered.</p><p>His heart hammered.  “Yes.” he exhaled.  His hand released hers and he encircled both arms around her, letting go of all pretense of dancing and instead simply embracing her outright in public.  “Do you, do you think this is a reasonable time with so many people out?”</p><p>"There are no bonfires tonight so no one's on the sand."  She answered, tilting her head and looking up at him through her eyelashes.  </p><p>"Good God Mrs Parker, you something else." </p><p>"Let me just ask Arthur and Diana to keep Allison company while we are gone."  She pressed herself firmly against him and then smiled naughtily.  "I can feel that you are in no state to socialize so you stay here.  I'll return promptly."  </p><p>Sidney closed his eyes briefly and groaned softly.  "Good God." He whispered.  She gave him a quick peck on the lips and disappeared into the crowd, positively skipping.</p><p> </p><p>They stumbled out of the bathing machine later giggling and in blissful disarray.  "Your hat!"  Charlotte exclaimed as she realized he left it behind.</p><p>"My hat! My hat!"  Sidney raised his hand to his head and shouted in mock alarm.  He bolted back up the bathing machine stairs and emerged again, his hat triumphantly aloft on his cane.  Charlotte dissolved in giggles.  Sidney rushed to her and hefted her up over his shoulder.  "I have half a mind to bring you back in there!" She could barely breathe, she was laughing so hard. </p><p>But then Sidney righted her and put her on her feet again.  He laughed, equally amused and uncomfortable.  "Tom!  Well met!"</p><p>Tom had gone for a solitary walk after Georgiana and Otis told him their news.  He was surprised by how it had affected him.  When Georgiana came on as an investor and made so many drastic changes and cuts he had felt some resentment, gratitude of course for the lifeline she offered, but resentment that his vision was being changed and taken from his hands.  But over the few months she had become such a wonderful teammate, with a different point of view that proved incredibly valuable.  Her departure, for such a long period of time, seemed like a major loss for Sanditon.  He just needed a moment to himself but as he was walking back to the crowd to resume the evening he came upon Charlotte and Sidney just as they were coming out of the machine.  He was in the process of quickening his pace and attempting to widen his distance from them when Sidney caught sight of him.  </p><p>"Ah, yes, please, don't let me interrupt your fun.  Just taking in the evening."  Tom nodded, completely embarrassed.</p><p>"Nonsense.  It seems, perhaps, we have had a bit too much wine tonight."  Sidney answered easily.</p><p>Charlotte smoothed her hair and skirt self consciously.  She didn't dare look at Sidney, knowing there was a good chance she would simply start laughing again.  And she certainly couldn't bring herself to look at Tom or try to make small talk with him right now.  “I’m going to run ahead and check on Allison.  I’d hate for her to feel lonely.  Excuse me.”  </p><p>“Of course.”  Sidney answered, nodding to her formally, a sly smile still on his lips.  He and Tom stood for a moment. Tom shuffled his feet.  </p><p>"My apologies for uh…"</p><p>"No need Tom, really."</p><p>“We uh… we should also head back.”</p><p>“Yes, yes.” Sidney gestured them forward and they began walking.  But he just couldn’t resist.  He cleared his throat and began mischievously, “You know Tom, on reflection, we should probably invest in locks for the bathing machines.  It would hardly be decorous if they were used improperly on the off hours. Can you imagine?  Sanditon does not need such a reputation.” He stated solemnly.</p><p>“Yes, yes, surely.  That’s a fair point.”  Tom answered flusteredly.</p><p>“Let me take this on for you, brother.  I’ll look in on the locksmith this week.”  He said responsibly, clapping him on the back.  “I’ll even take on the trouble of keeping the keys for you.”</p><p>Tom looked sideways at Sidney through the dark, measuring his mood, his meaning, and then burst out laughing, shaking his head.  “Sidney, chap, whatever works for you!  I do not need to know any more.”  Sidney joined in his laughter and the two brothers walked along the sand towards the bright lights and merry noise of the boardwalk, of their Sanditon.</p><p> </p><p>It was a bright morning in late August. Charlotte opened her eyes to see Sidney’s face laying asleep beside her.  His pink lips were slightly parted, sweet and full like a slumbering child’s.  They contrasted against the dark, manly stubble over his face.  She reached out and barely traced her finger along his jaw, needing to touch him but not wanting to wake him.  Her eyes wandered over the length of the rest of his body.  The warm night had left them with just a sheet laying lazily across their legs, their bare bodies exposed to the air.  His broad shoulders, his toned torso, a trail of hair leading down to his manhood, his strong thighs.  </p><p>She thought of the first time she’d seen him.  He was the most handsome man she had ever seen and while he left her struck and breathless she never thought she would have had a chance with such a man.  Then she spoke with him and while her strong attraction remained her fleeting crush dissolved.  He seemed so harsh, so unnecessarily cold.  And yet over the course of last summer he slowly revealed his true self to her, showing a loyal, giving, loving man under his hard facade.  Since last summer, her estimation of him had only continued to grow.  As his wife she had found more love and happiness and comfort than she had ever dreamed possible. </p><p>She knew that he still struggled with his self worth, that he still held guilt for wrongs he had committed years before.  She knew that small missteps and mistakes that he had made now, in the present, he still attributed to personal moral shortcomings.  He saw a false version of himself that for too long others had reflected back at him.  It was slowly improving but it still lingered and it broke her heart.  She often felt that as his wife she would make it her life mission to prove to him how strong and good he really was, to change the poor perception of him in his mind and the minds of others.  </p><p>Without meaning to, she found her fingers had been gently tracing over his body as she had been looking at him, thinking about him.  Sidney just barely stirred.  “The ubiquitous Miss Heywood, it seems I cannot escape you.”  he murmured, smiling, without opening his eyes.  His hand reached out and found its way to the rise of her hip.</p><p>“Sidney.  I think you’re extraordinary.” she whispered.</p><p>He half opened his eyes sleepily and smirked at her questioningly.</p><p>“I simply want you to know that I think you’re a good man, the best I’ve ever known.  Truly.” she picked up his hand and kissed it, her two hands clasping over it.</p><p>His eyes opened wider, her words rousing him out of sleep, her true admiration of him as a person.  He looked at her, his heart full.  He wasn’t always sure what she had seen in him last summer, how she hadn’t held him in contempt when he engaged himself to Mrs Campion.  Rather, she remained steadfast, had boldly fought for him.  He felt like she saw him for the man he had always wanted to be and she inspired him to be more like that man everyday.  He pulled her to himself, her warm soft skin against him.  He held her tightly and inhaled deeply.  He kissed her shoulder and murmured into it, lovingly, gratefully,  “My Charlotte.”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>